Ah, questions, questions … this week featuring The Art of the Incomprehensible – Townsville City Council and Townsville Enterprise suffer an attack of bureaucratise buzz words – is it to hide what they’re really up to? The Magpie interprets – and are local kids being encouraged to suck each others blood?

In breaking news, (no it isn’t April 1) if the pommy coppers are right, his kangaroo wasn’t the only thing Rolf Harris was tying down – the 82-year-old Harris has been arrested by the rozzers running the Jimmy Saville paedophile investigation – no charges have been laid.  The ‘Pie takes a closer look.

Also the scattergun Kattergun approach political skullduggery by the member for Kennedy has earned him The Magpie’s occasional accolade, the Janus Two-Faced BUMM Gold Chalice. (BUMM = Barefaced UnMitigated Medacity) ...

A newly-selected Green’s candidate has egg … chocolate Easter egg … all over her face after her very first foray in federal politics …

The PM trundles out her Second XI, and even then, there’s a curious ministerial double-up cock-up ….

… and Bentley mourns the loss of another Aussie icon - all here in this week’s guano-carpeted nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

Joolya does her Monty Python Black Knight impression – and ‘yoof’ crime and consequences – The Magpie has his two bob’s worth and perhaps an answer.

And forget Jezzine cost overruns, it’s a different and bigger past matter that is rumoured to be about to hit the fan at Townsville City Council in a month or so.

And remnants of the silly season are still with us (apart from the hoopla in Canberra) where briefly it was ruled racist to call a Kiwi an Aussie and a man fined for laughing in his own house.

That and much more all seems to fit in well in a weird week at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

PHEW, it’s on for young and old now. A federal MP and at least two Townsville councillors are seeking corrections and apologies (ha!) from the The Daily Astonisher aka the Townsville Bulletin, and local judges may be getting into the same queue. Also, is a muddled Mayor Mullet channeling Pauline Hanson? … … and the good and bad news from Rome.

The Daily Astonisher versus accuracy - as usual, it’s no contest.

The Magpie also looks at the mysterious world of the media release, what they said during the week (including an interesting twist on time travel) but more importantly what they didn’t say.

And it is a fact, every single day of the year is a designated Day for some cause or other, but we celebrated or ignored two startling ‘Days’ in the past week – The Magpie enlightens.

And a prize piece of Green twaddle planned to hit the public purse of Townsville ratepayers.

All this and plenty of The Magpie’s own twaddle, here in the nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

Dog whistling, dead ducks, rude burglars and sex the city – they're all here but don’t get too excited, you lot – they are all separate matters.

The subtle art of dog-whistle reporting: in the hands of the Townsville Bulletin, it’s about as subtle as a grenade in a bowl of porridge. But the paper scores a rare double award, despite throwing its own style book out the window.

Also, all the ballyhoo about a sex shop – what? oh sorry ‘Adult Shop’ - in the Townsville CBD has stiffened the resolve of some people to ask questions about both performance and possibly secret business desires. Is the eventual object to create a down-market type of male brothel in the centre of the refurbished, ‘family friendly’ CBD?  That’s the unconfirmed rumour, but some people are having trouble getting their heads around the projected business figures. Now, council has taken a closer interest.

And here’s a couple of unrelated questions for said council.

Why are the ducks and the fish dying by the score in the lakes at Fairfield Waters, and why haven’t local residents been warned about a possible hazard from some sort of virus?  And if there is no hazard, why haven’t residents been told that, too? And more to the point, who should’ve been making residents aware of the situation – the Queensland Government or Townsville City Council? The ‘Pie investigates before The Daily Astonisher catches up and scares the bejesus out of us.

All this and other odd bits of drivel in this week’s nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

Here’s a a little quiz; what is the difference between an Aussie soldier killed in Afghanistan while protecting the values of our society, a young child taken too early by an untreatable disease, a blameless road toll victim, and a cowardly, violent convicted young thug stupid enough to fatally injure himself while trying to rob a pub?

According to the Townsville Bulletin, there’s no difference at all - all of them are equally afforded front page eulogistic treatment.

As a community, we’re now accustomed to an intellectual slap in the face from the Townsville Bulletin, but this week, the paper gave the community an emotional kick in the crutch for which it owes its dwindling number of readers a public apology. 

You will never find greater proof that the Townsville Bulletin is a totally out-of-touch, confused ethics-free zone than the paper’s astounding, lop-sided – whether through incompetence or pernicious pursuit of an illusory audience – than the laudatory front page coverage of the death of the violent and cowardly young thug Reedon Jack Santo.

The Magpie follows this disheartening paper trail here in this week’s nest.

Also, a long-serving senior bureaucrat/business executive is leaving town (don’t get your hopes up, Mullet, it isn’t Ray Burton) and the scramble to get his (rumoured $200K+) seat on the gravy train has already started.

Overseas, the Pope pushes off, and in Australia, Joolya pushes on … deeper and deeper into the political swamp, prompting both Bentley and Pickering to exercise their delightfully poisoned pens ... it's all here at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au