This week, the Townsville Bulletin rewrites a sacred Australian oath to now read '... and at the coming up of the sun, we will exploit them' ... and boy, didn't they do just that this week, in spades. And The Magpie REVEALS EXCLUSIVELY (cop that, Astonisher!) the Bill Gates big cover-up and why when the world's best job starts in a couple of weeks, it won't be anywhere near Australia.

The 'Pie also tells why those Sri Lankans who sailed into Geraldton are almost certainly lying little Lankans ...

Mayor Mullet's rise in the world stopped abruptly albeit temporarily ....

Local wannabee politician Cathy O'Toole wrestles with geography - and the compass ...

and we present a clutch of some of the best cartoons floating around the place at the moment, with resident doodler Bentley hinting that Clive Palmer wants more than just The Lodge.

That, plus the saying of the week and Mongrel the Barrister's barroom misadventure, all here in the nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

It’s been the Week of the Female Politician, be they dead, injured or just dopey. Snatcher Thatcher’s despatchers gave us some great moments of light entertainment, while on the local front, a Labor wannabee has us scratching our heads.

Irony is the theme running through all doin's of the week.

Also, here’s a show stopper for you: believe it or not, the Magpie gives a big heart-felt thank you to the Townsville Bulletin this week – because for so long now, The ‘Pie has longed to find a use for that grand old phrase ‘morally bankrupt’. With it’s Tuesday front page and just plain juvenile editorial, The Magpie can now say that the paper has hit rock bottom and is …. yep, morally bankrupt. The old bird will get ‘reprehensible’ in there somewhere too, but that’s later.

Resident Rembrandt Bentley wonders where the NZ gay reform laws will lead, The 'Pie throws in the odd bit of trivia, all here in the usual trivial nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

Jarrod Crackers McCracken lives up to his nickname, but falls short of doing the job properly at his bizarre closing down party on Via Vomitorium on Thursday night … and what do former Townsville Mayor Tony Mooney and the late Margaret Thatcher have in common? More than you’d think.

Plus, is  current captain of SS Townsville, Mayor Mullet, is steering us towards the political rocks? She looks to have given up all pretense of being politically independent (don’t look so surprised) with her latest damaging decision …

Is there a chance of any kick-on effect from NSW’s ICAC hearing that has put an adverse spotlight on Guildford Coal’s Craig Ransley – could any adverse finding against him affect the cheery prospects of the Townsville-based coal venture? The ‘Pie investigates.

And a startled olf bird looks at those slings and arrows of outrageous fortune so instantly aimed at Baroness Thatcher even before she’s planted, and seeks some balance amid the vitriol …

… while our penman Bentley sees a new use for Townsville much-maligned Cruise Ship Terminal and The Pie has his own cunning plan to peacefully settle the Korean Problem,  all here in this week’s blog at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

Has The Daily Astonisher (aka Townsville Bulletin) adopted a new motto: Yesterday’s News Tomorrow? They’ve been a bit slow on the uptake this week – one story by a couple of months and another a matter of years.

And a blow-by-blow call of an hilarious, good old-style, slanging match between two southern newspapers – and while old mate Peter Typo Gleeson started it, the Sydney Morning Herald has conclusively ended it, deciding Typo is a sook  ….  

Resident doodler Bentley has his telling say about that North Korean nutjob, Kim Un Jockstrap …

Plus a must see video about road rage Russian style, … and why an American senator wants the sale of lion meat banned in Illinois, all here in this week’s nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au