From smear to sneer - The Astonisher reveals the true worth of their objective reporting i.e zero - and Desperate Dave Moyle is back on the scene, entertaining us as always with his latest reach for relevancy.

On the national scene, the feds make it legal; they can take money from your bank account with out asking – and for no discernible or justifiable reason. Bentley is rightly furious.

That surprise resignation from Townsville Enterprise last week wasn’t quite the surprise it was made out to be ….

And if for some reason you’re disaffected with your local council in this neck of the woods , it could be worse – a southern council has created ‘smile spies’, and had introduced – fair dinkum – a ‘smiles per hour’ program.

Plus the Irony of the Week, and the best number plate seen around town, all here in the nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

The latest circulation numbers are in, and it’s a kamikaze death-dive race to the ground between The Townsville Bulletin and the Typo’s Gold Coast Bulletin. Also some things in the federal budget you didn’t hear about – including money to make sure the sky isn’t falling on you, and protection for Joe Public against being ‘injured or damaged’ by, would you believe – politicians! – No joke, it’s true.

And Senator Jan McLucas comes up with a doozy or two of her own in the twisted linguistic stakes when trying to defend her government’s 'Peter robbing Paul' policy on education.

But another senator of a different persuasion,  Ian Macca Macdonald, is crystal clear in his opinion of a prize piece of inhumane bastardry by the feds.

On the local scene, Townsville Enterprise’s Director for Disappointments Ross Contarino bites the dust – almost certainly shafted. The Magpie looks at TEL’s value - and values - in this latest downsizing-by-stealth exercise.

And if you think the Cowboy’s stadium name is a bit off-putting, wait until you see what others have come up with elsewhere around the world. Something for everybody in this week’s nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

Eddie Obeid supported Tony Mooney's abortive federal campaign in Herbert, which has appaprently come as a big surprise to His Radiance - Bob Cut Snake Katter puts the wind up the ladies of the CWA - and a coterie of mayor's from the south-east corner urging people to break the law? It could be seen that way.

Also, Annabel gets crabby to win quote of the week, and ...

.... one surefire way to get rid of lingering dinner party guests, plus ...

.... weasel words from Channel Nine about their censorship of an environmental ad.

Also, the price of meat is high enough, but $785 for just a hint of mince? The latest Penfolds Grange hits the shelves, and those who pen words about plonk appear to be in the grip of the grape in more ways than one.

Maybe you'll need a drink after this week's visit to the nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au   

Mrs Cut Snake goes shopping – regally … and News Ltd gives the game away; their latest self-spruiking promotional drive is toe-curlingly embarrassing – and revealing.

And the paper proves it has the same problem in the news pages – yes, another chapter in the touching saga of The Sins of Simpo.

Also, WIN TV News is giving The Daily Astonisher a run for its money in the chronic cock-up stakes …

Dean Martin will be spinning his grave when an Aussie musical clever clogs gives Julia Gillard a homage to the tune of That’s Amore – only it’s now ‘That’s a Pork-kay’ - as in porkie – clever stuff.

Plus an old colleague departs the scene, - Bentley thinks that we’re going to be selling off more than the farm - and an ‘exclusive’,  ‘revealing’ look at Black Caviar getting ready for her foaling duties (document obtained under Freedom of Information laws).

It’s all here all in the nest at ww.townsvillemagpie.com.au