Wannabe Townsville councillor Vicki Salisbury - is she Tricky Vicki or just a Silly Sailsbury sausage with another campaigning cock-up?

She is certainly no Messiah, so is Vicki Salisbury just a very naughty little girl? 

Seems so.

Now, by all reports, Vicki's a nice gal - and all that - a hard worker in the Townsville arts scene - and so on - friendly, bubbly - and so forth - but it appears when it comes to local government politics, she is either a mischievious little Tricky Vicki ... or she's a bit of a klutz ( a word formed in the sixties from the yiddish 'klots', meaning wooden block).

Harsh words, you say? Well, there is a reason why someone who wants public office can't afford to be found out being either sneaky, or a dill. Reasons here at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

The first inkling of all this saw Ms Salisbury merrily tripping around North Ward and Belgian Gardens, no doubt humming a snatch or two from a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta, her girly bonnet at a jaunty angle as she she door knocked the area, handing out pamphlets announcing that she was running for council on Team Mullet. 

Problem was, she was stealing The Moaning Mullet's thunder, because Jenny had not formally announced her very obvious and generally well known intentions. No doubt The Mullet whispered a few well chosen sweet nothings into the dainty Salisbury lug hole, and all will be recovered when a bikinied Mullet springs from a giant cake at The Brewery next Tuesday night at her campaign launch. Well, The 'Pie doesn't know if that's the idea - he hopes not - but she'd have to do something of the nature to get any surprise into the proceedings - even this dodgy old blogger has been chronicling the machinations and horse dealing as she put together her 'task force' for almost six months now.

HasTricky Vicki already hit a second bum note in her council election campaign?

So it would seem Vicky did no real harm for those of us who live in the real world, but her latest venture into the grown-up world of politics may be a no-no just a bit more serious. Possibly make that a 'lot' more serious.

Vicki is the (reportedly) very capable boss of the Umbrella Studio art gallery in Flinders Street, where the arty-farty and local literati occasionally gather to gobble cocktail frankfurts, drink cheap plonk and - if time permits before the dogs need walking - look at some of the stuff hung on the walls.


The gallery runs a busy and by all reports, popular Facebook site. So Vicki, aware of the ruinius costs of a political campaign, thought it would be a bit of wheeze to attach a special page to the gallery's Facebook site, modestly called Vicky For Council. In it she brown-nosed all and sundry and told it like it is, by golly, she's gunna stick up for the arts, she's gunna be a dynamo and (yawn, scratch) so on and so forth. Every lisper, cockatoo-haired dauber and the entire socks-with-sandals crowd posted such original exhoratations as the low-rent black American feminist clap-trap like 'You go, girl!' (She will, she will.)

Now, this is all well and good, except for one small snag, one that you'd think a gallery boss would realise. 

The Umbrella Studio is funded with taxpayers money, in the form of grants from Arts Queensland and the federal Arts Council. The gallery also has local subscribers who cough up an annual donation.  The last time The 'Pie heard, using any of these sorts of monies for political purposes - or even attaching a fund recipient, in this case, the Umbrella Studio, to a particular party or candidate - is naughtiness of the most dastardly kind - an absolute no-no.  For what one would have thought were very obvious reasons, it could be getting close to illegal. Either way, certainly unethical - but then again, she is on Team Mullet. 

On top of this, at least three subscribers have spluttered their disapproval down the MagpieFone, none protesting the party issue (Team Mullet is just Labor by another name) but insisting that politics of any stripe should not be run on the gallery's site. And perhaps this has now disappeared from the site by the time this blog is published. 

The Magpie idly wonders what the dedicated followers of fashion at Arts Queensland and the Arts Council make of all this. Indeed, when he gets a spare second, the old bird just might ask the question of them himself. 

If it is turns out that The Magpie is just a stupid old fart (ha! the jury returned on that one years ago) and this sort of shenanigans is all above board, The 'Pie suggests Dale Last and his team, and that goof Jeff 'Hell's Snowflake' Jimmieson hot-foot it down to the gallery and demand equal space. 

It's a fair guess that The Mullet is going have to ride close herd on on her neophyte candidate, whether it is a case of mischievous Tricky Vicky (unlikely) or a Silly Old Salibury Sausage (very likely, just an over-eager innocent abroad in the wonderland of Townsville Council politics). But Vicki, if this little campaign excursion hits the fan, you just might need an umbrella of your very own to stay upfront and fragrant.

Speaking of party matters, quote of the week goes to a Magpie mate who summed up the intelligence-insulting charade being played by one side at least. 

  

'If it looks ALP, smells ALP, talks ALP, walks ALP and says it's Independent - it's ALP. Simple.'

However, The Magpie believes it is just as valid to substitute ALP with LNP for the current mob and Dale Last's lot. While it is true that apart from Kid Crisafulli who is heading off to state, not one councillor is an LNP member - let's face it - the smell, the look, the walk and the talk make it obvious where their particular brand of 'independence' comes from. 

Now a view from abroad, on the economic flapdoodle in Europe. . Fluttering into the nest this week, a parable of our times which sums up so succinctly how the Italian and Greek economies became basket cases of the highest order.

The story goes that a small village in Italy 'twinned up' - that is a sort of sister city arrangement -  with an equally impoverished hamlet in Greece.

When the mayor of the Greek village visited his counterpart, he was astounded at the Italian mayor's wonderful villa.

'But how can you have such a grand residence in a village like this, how can you afford it?'

The Italian mayor winked and said 'See that bridge over there?'

'Yes'.

'Well, the European bureaucrats gave me funds to build a four lane bridge over our river. But as you can see, what we built was a one lane bridge with traffic lights at either end. And that is where I found the money for this house.'

The Greek mayor is impressed and falls into deep contemplation.

A year later, the Italian mayor makes a recipricol visit to the Greek village, and is astounded at the palatial mayoral residence, all gold taps, marble tiles, even a swimming pool and helipad.

'But how could you afford to build such a wonderful edifice here?' the Italian mayor asked.

'Well, you see that bridge over there?'

The Italian mayor replied, 'No.'

Sorta sums things up pretty neatly.

Enough now, it is away to Poseurs' Bar, where The Magpie is (sigh) so accustomed to hearing the word 'no'. But tonight, he will be testing out a new and long overdue improvement to the sorry lot of a dedicated albeit  moderate drinker. Designed by landlord Benjy Puckerbottom, it is, as illustrated, pure genius.