The Townsville City Council decides that everyone must share some pain – except Townsville Enterprise, Kid Crisafulli becomes a fashionista commentator, and our old Townsville judicial jockey Clive Wall socks it to the crims big time down on The Coast - but the Court of Appeal isn’t amused.

Yup, not surprisingly, the man they call Judge Dredd gets a kick in the teeth from the Court of Appeal, but The Magpie muses if it is a kick that may help boot him upstairs.

James Ashby, who is giving new meaning to the term ‘sinking the slipper’ appears to have just done to the Australian taxpayer what he is accused of doing to some young boys in Townsville.   

Kid Crisafulli continues an emerging LNP tradition of modern lifestyle criticism – he’s had an unusual stab at fashion commentary.

And kiss and TEL – Townsville Enterprise bigwigs cosy up to the Townsville Council and manage to get another whacking dollop of ratepayers dosh to keep them in the style to which they’ve become accustomed – that style is rumored to be a penchant for running close to the financial wind.

And those extremist Mulslim meatheads suddenly learn about the law of unintended consequences.

All here in this week’s nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

Why all those predictions of a challenge to the Brisbane Bantam’s leadership are just so much flapdoodle - Clive Palmer has a rare lucid moment – and the arrogance of extreme Islam eloquently put in its place by someone who should know.

You will remember last week, we spoke of Republican Party theologians and deep thinkers who insist only a ‘delighted womb’ is able to become the oven in which a bun can be baked for nine months? Well, this week, we learn that if your womb got out of the wrong side of bed this morning and is a bit grouchy and out of sorts, you can trade it in for a spruced-up and perky slightly used one. And this is now a medical reality, and not some political foam-flecked drivel.  

And, speaking of those Republicans and their crackpot theories, you’ll discover why The Magpie, normally a placid old soul wallowing in the comforts of codgerdom, is in a towering rage with the ABC.

And the lie given to the Daily Astonisher's latest feeble attempt to boost its tanking circulation.

All here in this week’s nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

It’s getting down and dirty at the Townsville City Council, with Mayor Mullet bunging on a Queen Bee act – and the strange case of when good news is bad news for the mayor.

Just when things looked outwardly mature and all grown up, behind the scenes Jenny Hill has taken her spiteful, self-stroking  and time-wasting feud with her CEO to new lengths.

In state matters, Kid Crisafulli proves to be as good as his word on local government reforms, giving more power to councils, but has he missed an opportunity to save both money and muddles regarding local government elections?    

In world politics, the main game for the moment is over in the Yew Ess of Eh. If you think Canberra – or perhaps Brisbane of late - is the center of the political Whackosphere – especially the singing variety - you may feel the cold comfort that we are but a backwater of fruitcakery when you look at the array of beliefs that the Republicans are harboring – and hope to enact if they can knock off Bazza Obama.

Fair dinkum, if he were up against this lot in a Crackpot Olympics , even Bob Katter with his ‘crocodiles in the ceiling’ climate change explanation, wouldn’t finish in the medals.

And an American school board sweeps up the Nanny State Award of the Decade by telling a three-year-old deaf toddler he has to change his name because of skool rools about weapons.

Seems there’s something for everybody in this week’s nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

On the anniversary of infamy, a bitter moment of reflection for Australia.

There is a sad symmetry to the fact that on this day – September 11 – two of the three soldiers murdered by a turncoat Afghan infiltrator in Australian ranks, are buried.

A question: What’s the difference between a well-done pork chop and our mayoral Mullet Jenny Hill? Nothing much, both have been heavily grilled to the point of turning grey, one on a BBQ, the other by the CMC.

Yup, the heat is on: those cheery chaps and grimly smiling  chapettes from the Crime and Misconduct Commission arrived in town during the week, unpacking their portable car batteries and interrogatory jumper leads to look into charges of bureaucratic impropriety at the Townsville City Council.

All this in a week when Townsville City Council CEO Ray Burton garners a top gong for a job well done.

The ghost of Mooney’s Past momentarily haunts local newsrooms, while another Townsville mover and shaker Rabieh Krayem gets into the national press – for all the wrong reasons; 14 million reasons, actually.

Campbell Newman’s government – seeking to do an Alice Through The Looking Glass with the language – is deserving of an elegant motto for Queensland. The Magpie has the answer.

And in a not entirely unrelated matter, have you seen that deeply weird TV commercial for poo paper?

It’s the usual mix of the sublime and the ridiculous here in this week’s nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

The Daily Astonisher gets gun-shy on one of its favorite scare-the-pants-off-‘em shock-horror subjects – err, maybe it’s a bit close to home, perhaps? And that old kidder, Mayor Mullet, goes for the laughs.

It’s been a week of questionable quotes and random observations. In the quotes department, there is many a chuckleful memory in the passing of the one of the world’s funniest women – The ‘Pie speaks here not of Mayor Mullet, who at last report is still with us - but of Phyllis Diller. 

Also, the inanity of the week and the insult of the week both go to WA – the first to a Krazy Kapers kopper who made the dopiest collar of all time, and the second to the increasingly unlovable Gina Rinehart, who predictably missed something out on her naughty-list message to Aussies about too much drinkin’ and rootin’ and stuff. 

That will also be an exhibit in our quotes, all of which will be revealed if you take squizz into this week’s nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au