Thursday, September 29, 2011

Living the life of Larry again! Born-again penman Larry Pickering is back serving it up to pollies and public figures with unerring and hilarious accuracy - see for yourself.

Larry's Back!!! 

Veteran cartoonist and biting social commentator Larry Pickering has - hallelujah - picked up his pen again and is once more skewering puffed-up political pig's bladders left, right and centre. His return will be a delight for those who eagerly sought out his take on Hawke, Howard, Whitlam and Keating et al in The Australian all those years ago. 

And he has graciously given The Magpie permission to present a sample or so of his latest takes on the current flapdoodle on the national political scene. He is as devastatingly funny as ever, as irreverent and as brave as ever and even offers a modern sample on the notoriously uproarious 'nude politicians calendar'. WARNING: That  particular sample is very naughty but very nice - if you can describe a nude Julia Gillard as nice; if either of you readers is a sensitive little petal prone to a fit of the vapours and you don't want to know, then don't look. Says it all really, so plough on in at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

You'll also get a visualisation of independent crackpot Rob Oakeshott's unexpected contribution to the flood warning debate. and hear about the latest politically correct dingbattery calling for an end to the terms BC and AD in school history books. 

All round, it's a happy circumstance to be allowed to host Larry, because The Magpie recognises that there hasn't been enough laughs in this piece of regular drivel for the past couple of weeks (not all his fault). So it's time to lighten up mid-week, and for The Magpie to revert to his old stamping grounds of often total irrelevancy. He is quite within his rights to do this, if you note the Collins Dikshunary's second definition of 'magpie':

2. used in similes or comparisons to refer to a person who collects things, esp. things of little use or value, or a person who chatters idly.
ORIGIN late 16th cent.: probably shortening of dialect maggot the pie, maggoty-pie, from Magot ( Middle English nickname for the given name Marguerite) + pie.




Remember the definition of that good old Aussie coinage 'wowser' - a person who lives in constant fear that someone, somewhere, is enjoying themselves. To that could be added living their lives without some prissified prick taking it upon themselves to update or rewrite history. 

As if she didn't have enough real problems, it now seems that our PM is about to be asked to consider the politically correct idiocy of eliminating the terms BC and AD in the history books used in Australian schools. This idea is being pushed by those simpering loonies who flinch at their own shadows and say they seek to offend no one and end up offending everyone. 

According to the Christian Broadcasting Network, under a planned new government curriculum, the terms BC, 'Before Christ,' and AD, 'Anno Domini' - which translates to 'the year of Our Lord,' will be replaced with neutral, non-religious language, these being BCE -'Before Common Era' and CE 'Common Era'. 

Now, The 'Pie has always been a bit shaky on his Latin, thinking Anni Domini was a priest's call "Anyone for dominos?' before he sent the hat around for bets. (And the old bird believed for years that carpe diem was 'Fish of the Day'. Yes, yes, old jokes, just get on reading).

But it seems that the boo-hoo brigade of PC twits haven't quite realised that no dates will change, so when young Mustafa or Jaipuri, who must not be offended, effendi -  asks how come centuries and years are dated the way they are, there will be a discussion about a bloke called Jesus Christ, and that dates are noted from when he died. And we're back to square one, if not year one. Truly, twerpery of the first order.

But, boy, has this sophistry pushed Queensland MP Rosie Menkens, the Iron Maiden of the Burdekin, to get her taffeta-trimmed pink sateen bloomers in a dickens of a twist.

'For Australian history books to no longer use the terms BC and AD in reference to dates in accordance to Jesus' birth is political correctness gone mad,' thundered this former school teacher, who does a pretty neat line in thundering. 

Maid Menkens said she had recently been contacted by outraged constituents who had learnt that the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) has changed the terms, and there is a push for the same deletion from our school books here in Oz.

'It’s just ridiculous – we are a Christian country and this is our heritage and our history,' she said. 'We have always used the terms BC and AD in our history books - to change them now just doesn't make any sense.'

Getting up a towering and rightgeous head of steam, the Iron Maiden ended with the clarion call 'The Gillard L:abor government needs to come clean and let Australians know if this absurdity is going to actually be forced upon our nation.' 

But hang on a sec Rosie, there's a great opportunity for your mob here. 

The LNP could make some milegae out of this; they should back the change, explaining that this state's history should support BC - 'Before Campbell' - and AD 'Anna's Departure'. 


The latest polls suggest that a new saviour, at least for Queensland, is nigh. But a word of caution; it is best to remember that more divisions were caused, more wars have been fought and more humans have been killed in the name of the last saviour, Jesus Christ, than any person before or after. 

On another national matter, young Master Robert Oakeshott has apparently stuck his bib in  regarding the inquiry into the Queensland floods and how we could be better prepared next time. 

It is unreliably reported that our man was heard to say 'I'm disturbed to hear of all those self-evacuations, and I have come up with a plan to save people from this pressing problem in future when they face a wall of water the size of Craig Wallace descending on them. Self evacuation should no longer pose a problem, if all are equipped with my invention. I'll show it to you out side parliament house.'

And he did.



Real pic, by an old Magpie mate, Ray Strange. G'day, Ray. Sorry about pinching your pic, mate.

Now, as promised, here's how Larry Pickering has been seeing things since he decided to delight us again with his unique take on Canberra's shenanigans.

Drawing on Sally Pearson's recent world title hurdling triumph, a simply brilliant idea summed up Gillard's refugee plan.


Then there's this neat commentary on the whole mess about just about everything that's gone wrong ... and who's responsible.




Greg Combet dances to his (real) master's tune.




Bob Brown never seems far away from the PM, especially when she talks about offering Labor members 'a richer experience', but seemingly ignoring the bleeding' obvious union corruption about the place.



And FINALLY - steady now, be careful, you've been warned, it is not PC but has a ...err... point. Here is Larry's idea of the price Julia has to pay every day for the support of the Green's Brown-Eye Bob.




Whew, enough, The 'Pie needs a drink or three after that, so it is off to Poseurs' Bar, where he will engage in some  instructive conversation with a lass thirsting for knowledge. The 'Pie will be happy to explain that although his Latin is rusty, homo erectus has absolutely nothing to with a gay standing up. Quite the opposite, heh, heh, heh.






4 comments:

  1. Thanks, Magpie, for starting my day, nay week, nay month or whenever, on a brilliant note.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Birdie, what a hoot! I almost choked on my morning glass of sparkly ...

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  3. Conan the GrammarianSeptember 29, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    That final Pickering panel....shudder.....the #1 Bulldog ticket-holder, attired in Brownlow outfit (something backless and strap-on), preparing to give it to Canberra's biggest cat. (Could it be that the roles apply mutatis mutandis?)

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