Saturday, July 6, 2013

Cheery smiles down at the Daily Astonisher, frowns at WIN TV as it continues its astonishing wrassle with written English … and joy and apprehension in Canberra ; KRudd goes overseas, then comes back!.

Also The Magpie comes to the aid of those state politicians so appalled at having to take massive pay rises …

… and the hard lesson of the Streisand Effect – trying to suppress something gives it wider publicity – is about to be visited on Gold Coast Mayor Tom Tate.

… and sitting down on the job:  a great Nanny State Award proposing that blokes who sprinkle when they tinkle should do the ladylike thing  - all here in this week’s nest at


Just a friendly reminder fellas.

You say you have no choice but to accept massive pay rises illegally blocked in 2008 by Anna Bligh, because you are supposed to have salaries just $500 below your federal equivalents.

Your heart-wrenching argument is that you have no choice, can’t help it, folks, no say in it, good people, not allowed to reject it – BECAUSE IT IS THE LAW!!

Err, fellas, here’s a tip – YOU ARE the people who make the laws of this state. If you are not a lying bunch of politicians (whoops, tautology time) pass another law to back up your otherwise mealy-mouthed, Joh-style grasping of the public by the nuts.

That way, you can press your prim thighs together and simply say NO … and remember, no means no.

Yours in Utter Disbelief

The Magpie.

And they haven’t escaped Bentley’s baleful eye, either.

What a woeful pack of grizzle and grunts.

Media matters.

Tricky business, magazines … timing is everything but the events in Canberra over the past week or so have really caught some mag editors on the hop. But it seems the Womens’ Weekly has been nimble on its feet. Having just done a big spread on the (then) PM looking all domesticated and airbrushed, the Weekly is planning to look abreast of the rapidly changing times. Here’s a sneak preview of a forthcoming cover.

Indeed, the photoshoppers of cyberspace have been having a field day, commenting with glee on the return of the greatest twicers this country has seen in a long time.

This one let's itself down a bit by featuring a real alien  (R) in cowboy hat
But from one fantasy...

... to another.
And that swordsman must be Bill Shorten.

The Magpie fears we'll soon see that's it's no laughing matter.

French egghead pantsman Jean Giraudoux once said (in a line later pinched by comedian George Burns) ‘The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made’. PM KRudd has a ways to go before he attains that ideal.

The Magpie gives the general public about ten days to catch up to the old bird and suddenly start remembering why this bloke got shafted in the first place. His popularity then was about the same as Joolya's when she got hers last month.

Thanks, Bill.
The ‘Pie’s toes were curling from the very start of the return of that oh-so-careful enunciation of the simplest statement, peppered with the old faux-fashionable interrupters like ‘guess what?’, ‘I’ll tell you what …’ I’m not into ….’ And a various selection of ‘bunches of’ – promises, experts, presumed idiots, everything except a well deserve ‘of fives’.

Kevvy, old son, you’ve obviously been having a fair shake lately – but not of the sauce bottle variety.

Words are one thing for our phoenix PM who has arisen from Labor’s ashes, but maths are apparently even trickier. 

On the ABC’s 7.30 Report during the week, when KRudd was being given the rounds of the kitchen by Leigh Sales, he managed this mini-howler when suggesting Mr Abbott doesn’t have a policy he just ‘has a three word slogan – turn the boats back’. Umm, Kevvy,  luvvy, has Wayne Swan been teaching you how to count – that’s four words, mate  – perhaps you meant a four word slogan ‘stop the boats’, eh? Anyway, The ‘Pie has to concede he takes your point – let’s see how you go.

The ‘Pie does not lie (he never does, of course) when he tells you he is immediately on edge when KRudd's  pale Assange-like visage pops up on telly. The Milky Bar Kid (or Tin Tin) shock of fine, almost albino-esque hair, the dead-fish eyes, and the tongue darting out asp-like between those disturbingly moist pink lips. (The ‘Pie can never see that cat’s bum gob in action without trying not to speculate just how much ear wax has disappeared down there over the years.)

Wingnut Abbott is no Brad Pitt, Jerry Lewis maybe, but at least he isn’t a short bespectacled version of Boo Radley in To Kill A Mockingbird, waiting behind the door to scare the wits out of you. And at least Boo turned out to be harmless and gentle ... when not breaking a bloke's neck while protecting kids.

Other matters:

While The ‘Pie has a lot to say about the Daily Astonisher – well, they do lead with their chin - the old bird has noticed, courtesy of local ace snapper Cameron Laird, that there is a persistent noteworthy problem over at WIN TV.

Cameron is a word warrior as well as a A1 photographer, and he has been highlighting the dyslexical propensity of WIN News caption writers to make absolute howlers – you may recall ‘Catchy’ O’Toole for Cathy O’Toole from a couple of blogs back. Some of the cock-ups not always words but also understanding. Some are humdingers – wrong sunrise times in the weather segment and such - but this, the very best one making Media Watch a while back.
Feel sorry for the newsreader.

This is the sort of thing that happens when any news organization – in the name of the holy dollar – tries to remote control information from out of town. So the folks putting together the ‘local’ bulletin down south had no idea that a PET scanner is a Positron Emission Tomography scanner for humans, something even the TV kiddies up here would’ve known, it being such a big issue.

WIN’s persistent problem goes back years, and is no respecter of position or title.
Well, the Prime Minister bit was right at the time ... or is that ...oh, no ...
Prime Minester.
Then there was this one ....
Maybe it's a new word that means Bob likes talking about conservation.

It remains an insulting and demeaning fact that this persistent problem hasn’t been addressed. But the latest in the long line of spelling cock-ups, is this one, which in a way, is a double chortle.

That should be Daniel Whipps, another bloke seeking his 15 minutes of babbling fame through the delightfully daffy and eclectic Townsville Ratepayers Association – on evidence so far, the extra joke is associating anyone in that mob with ‘wit’ adds the frisson of comical irony to the original mistake.

Despite a constant caning from Mr Laird and others on Facebook, (more than 50 such errors have been reported on social media) WIN doesn’t give a stuff, it would apparently cost too much to employ someone who can acshooalley spel.

While we’re with the media, the Astonisher has moved into its new you beaut offices down on Flinders Street West. The ‘open plan’ office will, The ‘Pie is told, have journalists sitting cheek-by-jowl with advertising department types, breaking a centuries old newspaper tradition of keeping editorial and management/advertising well apart. Maybe Anthony Templeton could be seated next to ad flogger Amanda Gray … they could spend many a carefree hour swapping adjectives

Simpo: ‘Hey, Mandy, here’s one you can borrow – humongous – can you fit it into that column you’re writing about folding your laundry?’
Mandy: ‘Ah, thanks, Simpo … found a noun you could use – veracity!’
Simpo: ‘Huh?’

But some morale seems to be returning to The Astonisher with the move, and for obvious reasons. Here’s a little quiz; why are these gals from TownsvilleEye smiling?

Answer: Someone said, hey, girls, look at the ceiling – no asbestos!!  Yaaay!! One hopes they are still as happy in 10 or 20 years time when the incubation period for mesothelioma-related diseases ends and the failure of the Bulletin management under Michael Wilkins and Typo Gleeson to act responsibly becomes painfully apparent.

On that subject, The ‘Pie is reliably told that the old Ogden Street premises is still so riddled with asbestos it will cost a million dollars for its removal on demolition.

Moving on:

Hey, fellas, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, if your golden offerings to the porcelain god don’t always hit the mark, a nanny-state council in Sweden is about to smack you down – or more accurately, sit you down. In a spectacular entry into the Nanny State Awards this week, a far left wing (what a surprise!) council is spinning its proposal to make blokes plonk down on the seat for a pee. The argument is that being seated is not just hygienic, and not just good for you’re prostate but – yeah, real - also your love life! But as you will read here, it is really about the gals not encountering a fire-hosed cubicle in the genderless toilets. At least there won’t be any tiffs about up/down seats. Maybe all that should be filed under the Nappy State.

The ‘Pie always enjoys an amble off the well-travelled path of the more prominent matters in our life, and it is true that many of those who affect our everyday lives, for better or worse, slip away from this vale without much mention.

The Mighty Mouseman.

One such event happened this week with the death of one Douglas Engelbart. You may never have heard of him, but chances are you are right this moment using his most universal invention. Mr Engelbart is credited with being the far-sighted inventor of the computer mouse. This obituary tells the tale.

And while we’re around this bend of the river, last December another person who has undoubtedly touched our lives – probably everyone on the planet – checked out to that big scanner in the sky. 

Joseph Woodland
Joseph Woodland was the man who first dreamed up the barcode, (no, Mongrel, that doesn’t mean signaling silently for another drink, it’s those coded lines on all goods sold nowadays). It was an idea that came to him while doodling in the sand on an American beach. (And no, he used his fingers and did not doodle in the beach-sand same way that artist Jackson Pollock did – Jack the Dripper’s outdoor inspirational moments would certainly see him in strife with certain Swedish councillors.) But talk about serendipity’s winding path to the ultimate invention … a series of ‘sliding door’ moments in Woodland’s life makes for interesting reading.

Finally, have you ever heard of the Streisand Effect? 
Don't worry, dear, they probably wouldn't recognise you anyway.

For those of you who haven’t, this is the situation when efforts to suppress or ban material – photographs, words, videos – of some matter results in the attendant publicity ensuring exactly the greater attention and exposure that was sought to be avoided in the first place.  In 2003, Barbra Streisand tried to have aerial photographs of her Malibu mansion suppressed, claiming invasion of privacy. The particular shot was one of 12,000 publicly available and government commissioned images, taken to illustrate coastal cliff erosion. She was unsuccessful in the $50million lawsuit, but her name is now in the English language – before the suit was filed and became public, ‘image 3850’ had been viewed by exactly six people, and two of those were her own lawyers. In the month following the case going to court, 420,00 people accessed the photograph.

This is an effect that a certain Gold Coast mayor is suddenly becoming painfully aware of.

Gold Coast Mayor Tom Tate.

It’s an absolute ripsnorter, and a cautionary tale for those reaching too quickly for their lawyer. And it is also a good indicator of the growing power of the internet to do things traditional media either can’t or won’t do.

In a nutshell, Mayor Tom Tate was involved in a business deal that went sour, and his former associates fell out with him, to the extent that, they say, he had them bankrupted. One of them is apparently a former mayor of Albury, one Amanda Duncan-Streclec. 

It has become abundantly and hilariously apparent that Amanda is a woman not to be scorned.

She built a website with the somewhat giveaway title, on which she has let fly a volley of accusations, allegations and general free character readings of various individuals, central being the eponymous mayor of the title.

It would appear that in the face of this, Mayor Tate got some very doubtful advice, or maybe it was just his idea anyway – he had his solicitor send our Mandy a ‘cease and desist and say sorry’ threatening letter.

Baaaaddd move!!  

What was coming was more obvious than Gina Rinehart at a dwarves’ convention. 

Mandy published the whole letter which detailed all her allegations and claims. AND THEN replied to every one of the claims, not backing down once, but adding her claimed evidence for the world to see.

The next move is up to Mayor Tate. Chances are his mate Typo Gleeson will give him a cuddly puff piece in the Sunday Mail, but fat chance any of that will do any good now. Mayor Tate finds himself in an interesting position – interesting in the Chinese sense of bad news. If he doesn’t proceed, people will draw their own conclusions. If he does, he can expect his every maneuver will be shared with the world of cyberspace.

Nothing like lawyers at 20 paces with a high-profile client, to pull in the punters. When you go to the website, the top two listed items on the left hand list tell the tale in detail – as said, it’s a ripper. (You'll love this, Greg.)

Maybe it ain’t over ‘til the lady with big beak sings, but methinks our Tom has come down with a severe case of Streisand Effect.

Incidentally, that Streisand Effect has resulted in a few strange outcomes. One was Billy Joel’s ‘Only The Good Die Young’ which was doing just that, being largely ignored, until the Catholic Church in some states in America had it banned for some of its lyrics – it immediately became a runaway smash hit.

If Fred Nile was into kick-backs, he could make a fortune out of his wowserism.

Enough now, it is away to Poseurs’ Bar for a …errr … stiff one. And if a comely companion goes to the loo, the old bird will ask her to leave the seat down ... for the sake of his prostate. But nudge nudge, you know the real reason, don't you? Heh Heh Heh.


  1. We don't say goodbyeJuly 7, 2013 at 7:50 AM

    News Ltd's new offices for Bully staff would be the building in Flinders St - oh that's right the one that's on the fringe and NOT in the CBD. The hypocrisy of the Bully is astounding after its concerted campaign against Ergon saying it should and must relocate staff INTO the CBD to support the city. The sooner this paper dies a slow death the better...second thought make it fast!

    1. The Magpie wants it to be clear ... he does NOT want to see the paper die (it won't anyway, but it will soon be in what polite relatives call 'reduced circumstances'). The Pie wants to see it return to a paper that serves the community from which it derives so much benefit well and responsibly. Look, take out the idiocy, sloppy and biased journalism, headless-chook editorial leadership and insulting kiddy columns and the paper ain't all that bad ... but human nature is such that it is the bad stuff that is remembered and on which people react.

      Isn't the message getting through in Holt Street? This region is expanding faster than just about any place in Australia, gaining up to 5000 new arrivals every year .... and our only daily paper in town is steadily marching backwards in readership and circulation at a rate well ahead of other similar regional publications. Hey folks down there at HQ, read any message into this? Or is the monopolistic profit blinding you to the general disrespect into which this oh-so-profitable publication has fallen? Jingoistic and panicky self-promotion campaigns don't wash up this way, they are seen as a painful joke.

      Feel free to comment on this blog Mr Williams.

    2. Really, it needs to fall. many of the bad ones are still working there,some of the 'toxic' ones. It's a click beyond click. on

    3. Regarding the CBD comment by the colourfully named We don't say goodbye:

      The Daily Astonisher used some nifty lateral thinking here, no doubt anticipating some comment regarding the paper's new location ... easy really ... shift where the CBD actually IS.

      In a delightfully democratic multiple choice opening to his story of July 26, David Sparkes tells us 'THE focal point of Townsville's CBD could be shifting, or expanding, or both.'

      He didn't add the also obvious ' ... or maybe not'.

      But yup, the CBD is inexorably plodding westward towards .. ta da .. the Astonisher's new home on Flinders Street West. ... or so they say. The purpose behind this somewhat 'so what' story isn't clear (except for the ever-present reason of filling up space) but to help the struggling paper keep its numbers up, read the yarn at

  2. While most people are aware of the back ground he -ha of Moyle and Media Hound and political pest Jacob (Magpies words) What's the back ground of Daniel Whitts anyone aware. Also i would query the name Rate Payers Association do they represent the other 80 -100000 residents of Townsville or just those residents that pay rates ?.


    One only has to read the dangers of asbestos in the paper. Strange that these 'award winning journalist' like Evan Morgan, Tony Raggot, Sam Healy, Jessica Johnson, Scott Radford were unable to expose their own front page asbestos in the paper.

    Hey, LOOK UP Journalists. or are you scared to expose the truth?


    For previous employees incase you need to sue News ltd.

  5. Paul Anderson of PimlicoJuly 7, 2013 at 4:27 PM

    A very interesting reminder of why Mr Rudd was thrown over the side the last time around (I had forgotten quite a few of the reasons, which is no doubt what ‘they’ were hoping would be the case) can be seen here:
    …as well as an amusing, oversimplistic (in my view) distillation of why Ms Gillard was turfed out:
    I think Graham Richardson was much closer to the mark with his deliciously titled ‘Get Over It, Girls’ op-ed piece in The Australian last week. While I don’t doubt there’s plenty of genuine sexism out there (although why is it it’s all right when it’s turned on its head, and women openly and often viciously lampoon men?), I also think there are a lot of people out there who are too ready to see sexism in every reasonable suggestion that there’s a sometimes breathless double standard at play.
    In other news, and alongside various howlers at the Astonisher and Nine that you’ve mentioned, what’s going on over at ABC Newsradio of late? Not wishing to sound uncharitable, but their newsreaders are often tripping over words, inserting overlong pauses, mispronouncing names, and the like, at an (forgive me) astonishing rate. It’s gotten to the point (for me) where it’s like listening to someone who punctuates his or her speech with ‘y’know’ or ‘…and ra-ra-ra’, where I’m not listening to anything they’re actually saying, I’m just waiting for the next instance. The latest example was where an otherwise unharried-sounding reader referred to a ‘Joo-ist’ priest in relation to the fast-tracked canonisation of former (ex?) Pope John Paul II (aww, bless). Took me a good ten seconds before I realised she meant ‘Jesuit’. Again, I don’t mean to sound as if I’m poking fun, because I’m not. People are being paid - presumably handsome sums - to do something many others would cheerfully do for half the price. The least they can do is have the basic decency to get their heads around what they’re being given to read, etc.
    Finally, a thought about how ludicrous the whole cringe-inducing ‘We’re For North Queensland’ thing is…which is the fact that all the News Ltd papers up and down the state are each ‘for’ their particular neck of the woods, and fair enough. However, if Cairns (say) should score some success that happens to be at the expense of Townsville, surely that should still be a cause for rejoicing here as well…because someplace in Queensland has still derived some benefit…right? Well, you wouldn’t think so (and predictably), given the recent example of how Cairns might have something JCU-related based there rather than here in good ol’ North QLD, if the coverage I remember seeing was anything to go by. It all reminds me of that singularly ridiculous ‘This Is The Life’ ‘campaign’ a few years ago that you mercilessly skewered. I’d hoped we’d seen the last of those self-congratulatory silliness…but I’d hoped in vain, it seems (as I also seem to hopelessly await the moratorium on Astonisher columnists writing about weddings).
    Thanks as always, Pie. Another cracker as always…

  6. 'Pie, love your analogy re the "cat's bum gob", more a pout like a wet hen's arse ... actually I am surprised no one has photo-shopped a cartoon morphing the milky-bar kid and Elmer Dudd, I mean Fudd, ... Rudd, still with his miserable mealy mouth twitching like a sphincter muscle with each untruth.

  7. Fascinating piece on Tom Tate and made for riveting reading of the former Albury Mayor's web page on Tate - and good for her. I find it hard to believe that someone so politically astute could be conned so badly. So was Typo and his "investigative team" onto this story when he was editor of the Gold Coast Bulletin? Or perhaps asleep at the wheel?

    1. And so the Streisand Effect starts to really kick in for our Gold Coast Mayor Tom Tate ... not only has his bete noir Amanda Duncan-Strelec's website attracted a phenomenal 30,000 hits in its first fortnight (probably many of them legal types trying to learn what dangers lurk in social media for them). but I notice Ms D-S's home town paper the Border Mail has jumped on board - she is former mayor of Albury. See

      Who is right and who is wrong will eventually be up to the courts, but the unequal weight of money for lawyers and barristers will no longer be able to keep under wraps those issues which some people would prefer were buried by legal wealth.

    2. Parson BlossomnoseJuly 8, 2013 at 11:52 AM

      Well, Bully Boy, don't know whether he was asleep or not, but Typo was in bed with Tom Tate at the time, having kissed and made up after their initial lovers tiff.

  8. So I see Mayor Jenny Hill cosying up to Anastacia Palaszczuk in the Council corporate box at the V8s on Saturday. Then I remembered they must be good friends as Jenny allowed Anactasia to use council chambers recently (free) to run a pro-labor meeting. I thought Jenny was suppose to be unaligned to political parties? How do the rate-payers feel about this?

    1. And nothing wrong with being polite to guests of the city, Jethro, and Mayor Mullet may have taken the opportunity to explain to the Labor leader her new 'indepednt' political outlook.

      Regarding the comment about the mayoral rooms, you may have missed this, but in fairness, those rooms appear to be up for grabs to all sides of politics.
      This lobbed in the inbox earlier this month.

      Coalition’s 2030 Vision for the Development
      of Northern Australia
      Wednesday, July 3
      From 10am to 12pm
      at the Mayoral Reception Room
      Townsville City Council
      Walker Street
      Media comments at 12.15

      What next, a Katter Cut Snake hoedown in Walker Street? Yee Hah.

    2. Seriously Jethro, nothing better to do than stalk the Mullet at the V8's. I'm sure there was much better views to look at around the pit area than the Mullet and her trucker style getup (unfortunately as seen on TV presenting 2nd place).

  9. I'm glad Barbara Streisand stood up and asked the question in 'Why do women sit on buses in the women's designated area?"

    I guess we'll be asking a similar question when employees contract asbestos related diseases in 20 years time. Why they did not publish anything about their own asbestos issues? It's obvious these award winning journalist didn't look up (including you Pie, sorry) and mumble anything about it.

    It appears Wilkins is responsible for future deaths and as you said, it will cost millions to remove the asbestos and pay out the victims.

    Shame shame shame News Ltd.

    1. Well, thanks and not so thanks.

      Thanks for describing the old bird as 'an award winning journalist' but apart from honorary membership of the Royal Order of the Outright Tuggers and Knobthrottlers Order, no other awards have ben bestowed upon the feathered brow.

      And at the time of his resignation from The Bulletin, the asbestos issue wasn't known and The Pie was not there when the matter was raised - or should that be, came wafting down as a fine white powder to those below. You may take it as read had The Pie been subject to this and subsequent management sidestepping on the issue, they would be facing a court action right now. But making waves at a time of mass sackings isn't always the priority for family breadwinners.

    2. The building has been there for years? Yes, you're very good journo. Not one journalist looked up and said "gosh, this is a story, dangerous asbestos?"

      Do you suggest that former workers have a case to sue the paper for negligence?

  10. A tip for you Pie : There was movement at the station for word had got around, a power station was on the drawing boards for town. Enough of that...Sun Metals is the driver with its cheap power enticement from Labor in the mid to late 90's to set up in Townsville about to expire - well in about 5 years. And it takes that long for fed, state government and council approvals plus construction to actually have it up & running. Sun Metals refining is an energy (electricity) hungry business. Seems council's head honcho man for water has been pulled off all jobs and as a top priority is looking at water issues for a new power station at Sun Metals & specifically council's untreated sewerage..hmm that would mean Sun Metals would have to treat the poo - strange. So,a gas or coal fired power station? Hmm they could plug into Transfield's gas fired station at Yabulu which power's Clive's struggling operation OR rail coal from the Abbott Point terminal. But I hear it will be a base load power station to supply Townsville & NQ. No Govt money (they don't build power stations these days). A local power station would also bring cheaper power to NQ & FNQ for major industry, bring power competition to small business and households. So it would tick just about all the state government's boxes. Do some digging as word is, it just might be feasible. Good luck.

  11. Re the coal-fired power station that Anonymous and all the local Liberal pollies seem to be determined to foist on Townsville.
    There is a clean green alternative - use the renewable power to be generated by the new sugar-based factories planned for the Burdekin and Ingham instead of setting up another environmentally reckless dirty coal power station on our doorstep.
    Could it be that the pollies are pushing the coal option purely because of lobbying from a certain coal company that wants to open a new mine west of Townsville? And is that lobbying being done by a Townsville based former Liberal hotshot?
    Now THAT is worth digging into old mate.

    1. And also the considerable power that will be generated by the proposed ethanol plant in the Burdekin, currently being opposed in court by overseas sugar mill interests.

      But here's something that didn't receive much air. Last month, Guildford Coal made a low-key announcement of a $250,000 Federal grant to investigate the feasibility of a base load power station in this neighbourhood. The intriguing part of this announcement was that TEL - gawd help us - was to oversee the purse strings. Why they would be qualified to do that - given their strongly rumoured own financial mess - is anybody's guess, but here's the thing: the two key mobs to get the bulk of the research funding will be Mackay Sugar and ... Guildford Coal.

      TWO QUESTIONS: Did TEL decide which two outfits would get the bulk of the lolly? And if TEL was that decision-maker, did Guildford Coal pooh-bah Prince Peter Lindsay, absent himself from any discussion or vote on the issue, since he is on the board of TEL's Economic gabfesters?

      Just askin', ya know.

  12. Since those outrageous pay rises were announced for state and local politicians, I haven't talked to one ratepayer who thinks they deserve the extra money, or should accept it.
    Hiding behind "the law is the law" these greedy grubs are pretending to do the right thing. Why can't they simply pass a new law preventing themselves from talking the extra cash?
    But given their past performances, that is not going to happen, so we the ratepayers are expected to accept this injustice.
    What they don't understand is that everyone, with the possible exception of their partners, is appalled by their shameful actions.
    So we need to make sure that they don't get away with it.
    Someone needs to keep a record of who takes the money, and who does the right thing.
    And I can think of nobody better for the job than Chris Condon.
    The mere mention of his name strikes fear into the heart of local state politicians and city councillors, so if Chris were to get involved, we might get them at least thinking twice before putting their snout in the trough.
    I, for one, would be happy to contribute to a Condon-style media campaign to name and shame the ones who take the money.
    All we would need then is some worthwhile independents to contest the state and local government elections and we might get some real local representation for a change.

    1. And The Pie noted that gormless galoot Geoff Seeney quickly tired of the game and just came out on TV last night and 'I work hard and I think I'm worth my federal counterpart's pay.' This is really going to cost the LNP - right or wrong, it is dumb dumb dumb politics, and for the lawmakers of this state to say they can't do anything about it 'because it's the law' is dancing the proctology polka with the electorate. As The Pie said in the Saturday blog ... YOU ARE THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THE LAWS OF THIS STATE - WE ELECTED YOU TO DO THAT. YOU CAN ENACT A LAW KNOCKING BACK SUCH A PAY RISE.

      So bloody-well do it.

      Now we just wait for the dismissal of that clear suggestion as too simplistic and isn't all that easy - and the explanation that it won't cost the tax payer a penny is in the tradition of the best smoke'n'mirrors efforts that that old twister Mike Capt Snooze Reyolds ever came up with .... and he managed some absolute doozies (best one was the double dipping engineered into the now-dropped ambuklance levy on power bills and the North Ward hospital 'mates rates' rort). But LNP has snatched your record in one hit Mike - time for a double dose of Iced VoVos, mate.


    Interesting the Astonisher's photographer selectively chose children for this touristy image. He failed to show the wild animals, dirty dogs which look beaten and the rubbish.


    If you also view from a technical perspective, Morgan Evan should be reversed to Evan Morgan and Scott Radford's exposure had to be dodged around the boy's face. Not a good pic really. Biased story.

  15. In last Thursday's Astonisher Mayor Mullet told Anthony Templeton that she knew of current and past state MPs who have taken the parliamentary pay increase (and the back pay..) Hmmmm, now you think this ace reported would have asked for names ....... but oh no ...... his investigative skills dont go that far.

    Now I would like to ask the Mayor how she knows this and who are they....

    1. Wonder if any of them are current or former Labor pollies - whoops, Mayor Mullet has just come down with selective amnesia. Anyway, Simpo is told what he's to write, and like a good boy, does so.

  16. Have a bit of pity, Pie. The LNP has run out of the public servants needed to draft any new laws.

  17. Well today I hit 25 years at News. In all that time haven't had two days the same. And still meeting great people every day.

    Michael Wilkins, Townsville Astonisher GM.FACEY july2.

    and this...Funny in my last performance review the boss asked me if I thought people were afraid of me! And I do remember that inspector. Frightened little man.

    Well, happy daze Michael. Not long before you contract an asbestos related disease!

  18. Can-do Condon fanJuly 9, 2013 at 3:32 PM

    What a great idea Ron Ratepayer. If Chris Condon can destroy Tony Mooney's campaign and remove him from power, getting rid of greedy second rate local councillors and politicians would be a breeze for him.
    Come on Chris, what about it?
    Or are you now also in cahoots with the local Liberals. Sorry, of course I meant independents.

  19. 'Considerable power" from Ingham's (not the Burdekin) proposed and court bogged down ethanol plant is zilch Pie. You'll find it will be signed up to sell power to Ergon as all NQ & FNQ sugar mills do - has been that way for about 10 years. And as for $250,000 towards a feasibility study for a base load power station - hell that's peanuts. And yes Guilford is working in the background.

    1. Errr,scusi Poncy Pants Pete ... oops, sorry wrong Pete ... Powerpoint, whatever. Tony Raggatt doesn't get things wrong, so you'll find the plant is planned for the Burdekin ... it is the Burdekin Shire Council's approval for the plant which is under court challenge from Sugrogen.

      And power is power, it all counts and could lead to other developments.

      Your comments read like the sort made by current or former politicians - hand any experience in that area, mate? Or is that just what we're meant to think?

  20. Just one of life's little mysteries ....

    From today's Astonisher Samantha 'The Milk Maid' Healey's yarn involving an historical matter regarding a suspected shark attack victim, she tells us up front that 'Harold Kenneth Sterne vanished while trying to swim between Kissing Point and Magnetic Island in 1956'.

    Then, further on, milking it for length, The Milk Maid tells us 'When Harold, who was known by his middle name, vanished, ...... ' Huh?

    Now The Pie may be missing something here, but if this is the case about Mr Sterne and how he presumably wanted to be called when walking (and swimming) amongest us, why refer to him in the story and the picture caption as Harold ... instead of Kenneth?

    One for the puzzle page.

    1. Miss Milkmaid probably had a big night out.

    2. yup "When Harold, who was known by his middle name"

  21. Come on 'Pie. Why don't you start a name and shame file on the pollies and councillors who take the pay rise?

    1. What makes you think The Pie won't be on their case if any are silly enough to do so? Mind you, if our councillors are forced screaming against their will to accept these obscene increases, there is already talk - at least from Deputy Doo Dah VV that things might be squared up with new rules that councillors pay their own vehicle leases, and possibly other expenses currently met out of council funds.

      Personally, the old bird wouldn't like to be hanging by the left one waiting for that to happen.

      And while we're about it, my dear chap or chapette, why don't YOU, whoever you are, find out for yourself and then send it in as a comment? The Pie welcomes any self-improvement efforts of enlightenment from out there.


    I don't believe it. This tops the fish hook story.


    1. Don't wish to appear ... well, snakey ... but The Pie doesn't agree with that comment about the snake story. It's a good yarn that will travel ... it's not every day you see something that big - or for the uninitiated, scary - in the built environment. Also gave the coppers an opportunity for their usual drollery ' no handcuffs for logistical reasons' and the opportunity for punny headlines. The story - unusually for The Astonisher - was as long as it needed to be and would have been a two-line filler on page 8 but for the pics.

      Nope, definitely a good yarn for the 'goodness fancy that' file.

    2. Yup...I found the "logistical reasons" comment worthy of an audible chuckle.

    3. That was a juicy bit of gossip in that link regarding the goings-on on the Gold Coast. For decades now, that place has been a magnet for the dodgy and just plain crooked.

      But for me the most jaw-dropping revelation was the surprisingly lenient treatment of the lawyer (who is no tyro – she has 12+ years post-admission experience). Not even a reprimand for the very serious finding of carelessly, negligently and recklessly misleading the Court in relation to material issues???? This is amazingly gentle and quite uncharacteristic sympathetic treatment from an organisation that gets its corporate rocks off from tormenting lawyers. The breathtaking assumption by a mere investigator that the lawyer did not intentionally mean to do it is, quite simply, staggering to anyone who has had to defend themselves against this bunch of psychotic zealots. “Guilty until proven (twice over) innocent and hang ‘em anyway” is their usual approach. The apparent inconsistency is hard to fathom – a (female) lawyer friend of mine, a cleanskin as well, was publically reprimanded and published in the “name and shame” record for calling a self-represented litigant a “grotesque man” after he abused both her and her (female) client. This, obviously, is a far more serious matter than miserably failing in your duties as an Officer of the Supreme Court. What a crock of unadulterated bullshit.

      Does anyone smell pilchards?
      Or did young Kylie claim that she was “young and naïve” at the time? A certain Ranga Lawyer, recently made redundant, claimed the same defence in her still unexplained suss legal dealings some years ago. I am told that particular matter falls into the “Watch This Space” category.

    4. Grumps, be kind enough to remind us of which you speak. Tad mysterious otherwise.

    5. I refer to the (former) Worst Prime Minister Ever, Joolya.

      Her conduct at Slater & Gordon was, on any interpretation, unprofessional and very, very suspect.

      I am amazed that the mainstream media gave this issue such a wide berth and accepted unquestioningly the glib explanation that her failure to open a file as a minor administrative oversight. I have spoken to some of the journalists involved in the original story and their frustration at the reluctance to permit them to properly investigate and report on this matter is evident.

      I can tell you that, in a large city firm, the failure to open a file is a major transgression.

      Joolya was responsible for creating an entity that bore the name of the firm's major client. A matter of some substance and which would involve a significant use of the firm's resources. Even if it was not intended to charge for the services rendered, the opening of a file would have been compulsory - as required by the Law Society and the insurers (except in very minor, one letter type matters - even then they go on a file marked "Miscellaneous").

      There are only 3 reasons why a file would not be opened: Firstly, it was pro bono – but even then approval from the partners would have been required and a formal file should have been opened; Secondly, it was a “cash job” not to be accounted for to the firm (which may explain the mysterious cash deposit of $10,000 into Joolya’s account.) This is good old-fashioned stealing as a servant; Thirdly, Joolya knew the whole grubby arrangement (involving her crooked boyfriend) to be dodgy and dishonest and wanted to keep it her own dirty little secret . All of which sackable offences.

      It is clear from the recording of her exit interview with the senior partners that they knew nothing of the formation of the entity at the relevant time and were singularly unimpressed with her lack of honesty. And, of course, they duly sacked her.

      It ain’t over yet….


      This is how it should have been reported. If you see, in the first story there was no indication which shop.

    7. What's amazing the milkmaid's story on NQ state was also seen on TV.7

      Nice to see Ange Asamis on The morning show. Give her a few more years and she'll be too old for tv. Nice reporter though.

  23. There’s something to be said about the Astonishers Editorial-Page crap.

    It satisfies both puppy and owner.

    1. A good episode

  24. Another slow news day at the Bully. This morning's front page screamer - "New petition calls for North to become own state". Oh hell not this one again! And Katter is needed in the story to give it some credibility (I know that's stretching it but you've gotta do something to make the story stand up) especially when a certain unknown Brad Archer is driving it - apparently. But whose he?? Wonder if Samantha would do a story on me petitioning for a new newspaper?

    1. Always Good and Always Entertaining Pie. This separate state thing is always a good red herring whenever the heat is on any pollies especially when it's Rupert's conservative mates are in the firing line.

    2. I'd like Bab Streisand as a Prime Minister. We could all sing the way we were.................

  25. Re New State NQ.

    According to the Worldbank Australia ($1.5t) is the 12th largest
    economy on the planet. We punch above our weight given our
    population. Economically, we are grouped with Spain ($1.48t), Canada
    ($1.8t), Russia ($1.85t) and India ($1.89t) but our population is 60%
    of Canada’s, half that of Spain’s, 15% of Russia’s and 1% of India’s.
    Australian’s contribute more than its fair share to world economic
    activity. Examining the contribution the North of Queensland we see a
    successful hard working region, that contributes at a higher rate than
    the rest of Australia.

    Combining the Far North, Northern and North West divisions with Mackay
    and Fitzroy divisions and calling it Capricornia the world economic
    ranking of this region is a very respectable 62nd on the planet

    According to new figures from Office of Economic and Statistical
    Research (OESR), Capricornia is a very prosperous region. While the
    average Australian contributes only $63,000 to GDP, each individual in
    Capricornia contributes $82,000. In comparison each Northern
    Territorian contributes about $78,000 and each Tasmanian contributes
    only $45,000. On average, Capricornian’s contribute around 30% more
    than the rest of Australia.

    Amazingly Capricornia contributes $74.5b with only 908,000 people.
    Its population is almost twice Tasmania’s, more than four times the
    Northern Territories and 56% of South Australia’s. Importantly, its
    population is growing faster than all these jurisdictions. But here
    is the most important fact, its comparative economic contribution is
    almost six times the Northern Territories, three times more than
    Tasmania’s and will soon be eclipsing the economic contribution of
    South Australia.

    While Capricornians are part of Queensland and Australia most of us
    agree we should help the less fortunate.

    Not only are Capricornian’s paying for facilities and services in
    South Queensland but also Southern Australia.
    While we agree we should help our fellow Australians who are less
    fortunate, Capricornia has many pressing needs and a vision for the
    • Numeracy & literacy levels of the next generation are below state
    and national benchmarks – more needs to be done.
    • Regional Capricornian’s die younger than their southern metropolitan
    cousins and better access to medical services and facilties is
    • Our transport connections between major economic resources and
    cities need upgrading (Seaports, Airports, Road and Rail).
    • The facilities that support our lifestyle need additional funding.
    Like all Australians we love our sport and arts.
    • Given our households and Businesses are higher average users of
    electricity we need more affordable base load power.
    • Finally, the wider regions strategic commercial push into south west
    asia and the pacific needs to be better supported.

    Capricornia is a prosperous, growing region that deserves better
    recognition for its economic contribution.

    1. This is a very worthy analysis of NQ's contribution to both the state and the nation. It arrived this morning under the heading 'New State NQ', although Colin does not directly advocate such a move. However, if he was hoping to boost the arguments of those for such a quixotic idea, the deep irony is that his anallysis and statistics are EXACTLY the reason there never will be a separate NQ state - why would other Queenslanders who benefit so greatly from this region - all of whom will be voters in the highly unlikely event that a state-wide referendum is called, let go of a such a valuable asset and affect their well-being. Capricornia is a beaut name if it were ever to happen ... but it never will.

    2. Idea...dispense with State governments altogther.

      Though I'll miss State of Origin...

    3. Is Colin Dwyer going to be a LNP Candiate at the next Mayoral Elections.?

  26. My worry is how do we pay these politicians(past, present and future) these outrageous wages.
    How can they tell the people to tighten their belts as times are tough and yet gorge at the money trough, unable to satisfy the huge greed that they all possess. Politicians are the jelly fish of the land, no guts,brains,spine or soul.
    Also pie on your page 02/02/13 I made the comment that Gillard would get in with the support of Katter, do you still disagree the race seems to be getting closer.

    1. Geez, Woodduck, fair shake of Kev's sauce bottle, give a fellow bird a break, willya?

      Last February is a constellation several hundred light years away, so your use of the word 'still' is a bit bizarre, especially when you seem to implying all things are equal. Well, they aren't, and you should take your crystal ball in for grease and oil change ... it didn't pick up that Gillard would be out.

      Labor could've put Craig Thompson in and the numbers would've gone up ... of course Abbott has a stoush on his hands now, and yes, Sherlock, things are closer ... but The Pie still doesn't believe that the current numbers are any more than a massive sugar shot of relief that she's gone (remember polls are reflective, not predictive) and the seesawing in those polls will start soon enough.

      KRudd is performing well so far, but the whole issue for him is one simple question: will people believe him? Believe he's a changed, 'inclusive kinda guy'? One slip - abused air hostie, leaked temper tantrum, a furtive entree of earwax - and those numbers will quickly become a dead cat bounce.

      Interesting thing is exactly the same thing will apply to Wingnut, whose pained look lately has nothing to do with his cycling lycra riding up and frightening his budgies. A big sleeper is his Labor-style business basher policy regarding extended paid parental leave. This goofy socialist idea looks like starting some internal ructions - and Wingnut will have learned nothing from the Labor's circus maximus of the last three years.

  27. In the trivia arena of the Arstonisher in today's birthday celebrants focus is upon Chapelle Corby....cor blimey 'Pie mate; yet another crim getting bleeding-heart smarm from the townsbloid. Most days there are about 5 contenders and on most days the featured celebrant is a yank even though there are usually a couple of Aussies in the frame.!!!!
    Trivia? yes I know! ....but it's the only part of the rag that bears any semblance to reality, except maybe The Phantom !!
    As I explained to my daughter who's studying at JCU about reality and the real world; is that the opposite of diversity is University.

  28. As regards the regurgitated, resurrected, perennial, Red-Herring, Old Chestnut about a rearranged (or deranged) FNQ, maybe look at the proposed names for this Utopia in the past (for Utopia read as "In yer dreams mate") ....
    Cookland (1859) today would ideally be Cookbooksland. Torresia as in Bull-faeces-nomansland (also 1859) but actually named after Luis Vaz de Torres; and to the west, Carpentaria.....why name a region with almost no lumber after chippies?

  29. All good points pie, interesting days ahead for sure. If anything, KRudd will wear thin on the great unwashed with the White Knight act and cockiness that is starting to show already.

  30. Also, the Astonisher deleted comments on the snake story. One comment was made about which shop it was.Since then it's deleted.