There's no rest for the wicked, but nevertheless The Magpie is feeling somewhat relaxed just now (as you will see).

But it's Magpie season all year round, so the old bird can't  ignore the wonderful consistency of The Daily Astonisher - a consistency that is less than smooth, and certainly is not free of clots. Right to the dying days of the year, the Bulletin manages to make up stories. 

And can't even agree on facts between themselves.

So to demonstrate HIS consistency, a final swoop from The Magpie in this the final column forn the 2012 at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

Mayor Mullet's has her pants pulled down by the Crime and Misconduct Commission and The Townsville Bulletin drops its tweeds in sympathy - The Magpie introduces a new award, the Mayan Tell Us Another One Memorial Sun Dial, with two of the best thigh-slapping whoppers vying for top prize.

The thought of your mayor minus her dainties is an image not to dwell on, but at least it will make it hard for her pants to catch fire, as they no doubt will.

Allied to the CMC findings that Townsville Council CEO Ray Burton did no wrong is The Bulletin's excellent and unchallengeable claim to yet another Janus Two-Faced BUMM Award -BUMM (Barefaced Un-Mitigated Mendacity).

Down in Canberra,  political opposites - Treasurer Goose and Wingnut -  were vying for the honor of big fat fibber of the month. 

Rupert Murdoch cops the best 'gotcha' of the year for his hypocrisy over American gun laws - Malcolm Turnbull gets him fair in the goolies for his mealy-mouthed posturing.

Also, it's all the fun of the fair for Rupert's minions down in Ogden Street - The Astonisher loses (or as the paper would say 'looses') one of its best, Simpleton said to have chucked a spectacular newsroom tanty over his position with the paper, new senior manager Sue Willis plays sneaky Christmas Scrooge and the prospect of some entertaining cat fights with a new journo lumbering onto the scene.

Look, there's gotta be something in this Christmas stocking for everyone - there's also a couple of very handy hints on gifts and seasonal fitness, all here in the nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

BREAKING NEWS: Mayor Mullet aka Jenny Hill comes a spectacular gutser - Townsville City Council CEO Ray Burton has been cleared by the Crime and Miscounduct Commission of any wrong doing alleged by The Mullet.

The Magpie bets the Mullet is stunned. Let's see if The Daily Astonisher has kept up.

A special mini-Magpie here at townsvillemagpie.com.au 

The silly season it is, with a first-round winner in the Grapple of the Grubs between Ashby and Slipper - two cabbies, one real the other possibly not - strike it lucky - and The Magpie in love.

Yes, the old bird has fallen under the spell of a raven-haired beauty ... the old bird doesn't often talk about himself, he likes to keep the blog interesting, but since both you readers are like family by now, he will share a pic of her with you in this week's post.

Bentley has his pithy say about the somewhat overlooked aspect of Peter Slipper's alleged shady lifestyle, Typo Gleeson gives us another clear measure of the man with an astounding internal episode down on the Coast -  and will we make it to next Saturday, or will the world come to its predicted end on Friday? You'll be surprised at just who is saying it's all a load of mischievous bollocks, and how they've put their money where their Mayans are.

But if the world is to end next Friday, there is a brief 'must watch' David Attenborough clip, with astounding images that will make it damn bloody shame if we all go down the galactic gurgler - it's a real eyepopper.  All this and other imaginings from the fevered Magpie brow here in this week's nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au     

A new newspaper for Townsville? - it's only gossip at the moment, but there's a touch of smoke to this rumoured fire - Mayor Mullet a cougar? - she is said to have a new toy boy. Naughty but nice? No, not really, it's platonic and political.

As The Bulletin continues to scythe through what staff are left in the bedraggled Ogden Street bunker, there are interesting rumours of a new paper for Townsville. And there have been several Ogre sightings around the 'Ville ... yes, he's back, for the moment, but it hardly matters, there's not much damage left for him to do.

And this has been a week all about free speech, the threat to it, the possible expansion of it, and the lack of it. Plus Quote of the Week, one of the funniest ever vids of a marriage proposal, and Bentley weighs in with his take on the alarming , true tale of The Magpie losing his warble - the old bird's voice is kaput, possibly for good.

All here in this week's nest at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

It's been a week of bums - literal, metaphorical, people, hash-tagging and ...well ... just an all round bummery, as chronicled in this week's load of ... well ... bumf.

Let's see now - there is an hilarioous but disturbing tale of two extremes: the Ho-Ho-Hos came a month early at the aptly titled Townsville Bully, making merry with a half-arsed, rib-tickling attempt to destabilise the community, but It was also more a case of Oh-Oh-Oh, Ando, in an unfortunate sub-editing boo-boo that made paper's best journeyman journo look like an internal rebel. It is one of the best own goals in a crowded field of same. 

Paul Keating's infamous gibe at John Hewson -  that a souffle doesn't rise twice - has been bettered here in the 'Ville - we can now enjoy the spectacle of a political souffle that hasn't risen once. Yep, serial political pest David I've Been Everywhere Moyle is at it - yawn - again.  

A Mount Rushmore-like monument for Herr Campbell Newman and his political storm troopers is proposed for Queensland.

And yet again, good news is anything but for the mathematically challenged Mayor Mullet.

Plus Quote of the Week, Name of the Week and the most unfortunate Twitter hash tag of all time - your not gunna believe it - all here on the gunao-splattered floor of this week's nest at www.townsvillemagpie@com.au