Friday, November 26, 2010

Farmer Tyrell Under Fire - From Within

First, a touch of media watch yuk-yukery from the past week.

Lisa Miller ABC correspondent, commenting on the murder charges Alabama has laid against `honeymoon dive wife killer' Gabe Watson, informed surprised listeners that `These are fairly serious charges'. One supposes that the aquatically maladroit Mr Watson can count his lucky stars that he isn't facing some extremely - rather than fairly - serious charges, like riding a bicycle without a helmet or peeing in public.

The sports quote of the week (as previously passed on via twitter and Facebook) came from Mark Tubby Taylor, commenting on the first day crowd at the Australia-England test match in Brisbane...

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

All The News That's Fit To Print... But Isn't

Now here's a curious thing.

It is generally known about town that one of our most respected and influential businessmen, Richard Ferry, has been laid up in a South African hospital for some time now, after losing a bout with a extremely poisonous spider. Richard and his wife were on holidays when the (nearly fatal, The Magpie is told) bite happened.

It's been a battle requiring some true grit, but at last report, we are happy to relay that Richard is on the mend, and should be returning to Townsville soon. The Magpie wishes him well, as I'm sure many in our community do too.

Now that they know, that is...

Monday, November 22, 2010

Where Monaghan Won't Be Drinking...

If Joel Monaghan joined the Melbourne Storm, it'd be a safe bet he wouldn't be drinking at the Dick Whittington pub on Chapel Street.

This long favoured watering hole has been around for yonks, so long is it is universally known as The Dick and is so firmly established, it had moved... beyond the sniggering stage. Howe...ver, the yuk-yuckery has returned recently, when the owners decided to build a drive-through bottle shop. 

'nuff said.



Sunday, November 21, 2010

LNP Preselection: An Army Man For An Army Town?... and His Radiance Arising?

Following up on the Pollie Wannabe post, The Magpie has been graced with some further fevered breathings down the MagpieFone, naming the four hopefuls seeking Liberal National Party preselection for the state seat of Townsville. The old bird's shallow nostril (he still isn't grand enough to afford a `deep throat') was in a teasing mood, serving up some juicy morsels but refusing to say what is for dessert.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wannabe Pollies In Pre-Selection Polka

THERE’S a week or two of sharp elbows coming up for prospective candidates jostling for the Queensland LNP. Nominations closed today, Wednesday, for hopefuls wanting to represent the party previously known as the Lovable Laughables aka the Queensland Nats.

Monday, November 1, 2010

What, The Magpie Finished?!


The old bird has simply moved to a new nest in the blogosphere, a universe where both you readers can move your lips while you peruse his regular load of old cobblers, or `column’ as it is known in some circles. In this smarty pants techno world, it’s now officially a `blog’, with regular `posts’ and guess what? You readers – yes, both of you – can have a say too. Just stick the tongue out of the corner of your mouth, crinkle the brow in concentration and – hey, knock yourself out, use two fingers if you like - tap out a message in the comment area provided. It will be published if it gets past the battalion of lawyers on alert for legal naughtiness.

The Magpie blog is also a work in progress, and will expand as the weeks go by with new links to some very interesting places. If you like, The Magpie will give you an email alert whenever he posts a new load of drivel, which will be at least every week, possibly more often. Just email him requesting same at

So here it is...

The First Farking Post.

Language is much to the fore in The Magpie’s mind this week - which is kinda handy for a writer.

The Magpie has tried coining a new word `pubter’, which he will allow is more than a bit clumsy to say but is a handy noun to describe punters who do their hard-earned in pub gaming rooms.

This idle line of inquiry was prompted by the latest linguistic confection to pervade Canberra, the self-important, fatuous ‘pre-commitment’.