A Full-Frontal Naked Magpie, Two Meatheads and Titters All Round.

'Tis the season to light-hearted and light-headed and all that malarkey, so over the holiday period, unless something of import happens, The Magpie will give politics a miss and concentrate on the inconsequential.

Jeez, wot a bluddy change, the Greek chorus chants in the background.


First a seasonal jest. We've all heard about Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, but have you heard of Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer? He could run as fast as the others, he just couldn't pull up as quickly.

No, no, just kidding, c'mon back, keep reading, it can only get better. Obviously.

Leaking All Over The Place

How bloody selfish and grasping can the south-east corner of this state get?

Now they've pinched our weather.

Listen you lot down there, that sort of storm and flash flooding during the week is our go up here. We demand that you return our whingeing rights, and reserve any `super cells' down there for the likes of Gordon Nutall.

And that's not all.

"What's in a name? " William Shakespeare... "Bugger all" Typo Gleeson.

More on the faceless side of the the Townsville Astonisher shortly, but first …

While doing a little back-reading for this week's load of great steaming garden fertiliser, The Magpie was astonished - well, after all, the article was in the Daily Astonisher - by a frank and somewhat personal utterance of Townsville City councillor Ray Gartrell when talking about the water charging issue.

Quoth the Daily Twaddle:  "Cr Ray Gartrell admitted concern had been widespread but people just needed to be more aware of their water usage.

"My family enjoys long showers so we'll have to watch it," he said."
Huh, pardon?

Doing The Pollie Jostle - A New Nightclub Craze?

NEWSFLASH        NEWSFLASH         NEWSFLASH        NEWSFLASH

Here's a last minute special to kick off with this week. DAVID CRISAFULLI has been selected as the Liberal National Party candidate in Mundingburra.

The Kid will take on whoever gets the nod to take over from the retiring Lindy Nelson-Carr - the bird keeps hearing the name Jacobs, but understands its not that Labor stirrer from the northern beaches who has a public profile through his protests about the council's water fiasco.

The Magpie understands the LNP heavyweights from down south - and not just Brisbane - `put the weights on' a genuinely reluctant Crisafulli, who has consistently - and The Magpie believes genuinely - saw his future and his passion for change at the local government level only.

But the political landscape is changing at such a cracking rate, things have descended into a such a mess in Queensland - and timing is as important as perception in politics - The Kid's decision is not only timely, but a major one for Townsville and North Queensland generally.

The Magpie reckons that to get The Kid to alter his firmly held views about his political future, he must have been given more than a small sweetener. The old bird guesses that would be an instant ministerial spot on victory, and at worst, if some sort of well-known last-minute disaster happens and Labor tumble back in, Crisafulli will be potent force inside the shadow cabinet.

All this will have a few Labor folk in a tis, it will start a chain reaction in the scheming and everyday backstabbing agenda around the boondocks. Especially in light of the latest polling by the Labor Party itself, which shows - even before The Kid tossed boater in the ring - that they won't have a hope of holding Townsville or Mundingburra, and Cuddlepie Wallace in Thuringowa is at the moment 50/50.

Now to other matters, which can, given the foregoing,  be read in a somewhat different light to when they were written earlier in the week...