Thursday, March 15, 2012

Council hopeful Colin Edwards pulls himself out of the race for TCC, and forget about Bob The Builder, up this way, we can boast our own Bob The Bludger.

Prospective independent Colin ‘Sweethearts’ Edwards will not be nominating for Townsville City Council.

Colin tells the Magpie he is disillusioned with what he sees as the prevailing cult of personality at all levels of community service, and the complete lack of reasonable community debate about issues of inclusivity. He made his decision in the wake of this week’s events involving ‘the emphasis on personalities and not issues’.

Now, a general statement of the Magpie’s sticky-beaking.   

Because of the pace that things are happening in these extraordinary political times, The Magpie apologises but feels it necessary to inflict himself upon you a little more frequently than just on Saturdays. So, for the moment,  the old bird will ramble on when the idiocy at large prompts him to do so. Like now.

Right now, the letter du jour is B – it stands for, inter alia,  bludger, bat, and befuddled, – and we’re only halfway through the political week.

The Mad Katter admits he’s on the bludge by shirking his place in Canberra – where he’s paid to be -  but said on radio twice this week that he’s useless down there. So he’s  devoting his federal time to a state campaign in which he is not a candidate. More on that shortly, as well as a candidate for the ‘Bob The Bludger‘s Party’ making a startling admission (almost).

Also, Cuddlepie Wallace, earns not a B but a C word for a bumbling attempt to play the man and not the ball in Thuringowa.

Unless you suffer from another C word – Coulrophobi, the fear of clowns - read on about it in this midweek nest at

A political flyer has been distributed in the Thuringowa electorate in the past couple of days.

The Magpie has seen it, but being a techno-klutz, he is unable to reproduce it for you, so in essence, it attacks Sam Cox for not living in the Thuringowa electorate. It also says he doesn’t shop there, begging the obvious question: how does the flyer’s author know this? It says things like 'Doesn't care' and 'Trust a local'.

This is a little side-bar exercise by Cuddlepie himself; he has to be directly behind it, and can’t claim it was a move by nameless backroom boys without his knowledge, since it is authorized, as required by law, by one L Teo. Err, would that be the delightful Lay Hoon Teo – which would be the missus – that is,  Mrs Cuddlepie, would it?

The C word involved in all this is the Jewish word chutzpah, which means ‘shameless audacity and impudence.’ Hypocrisy comes to mind as well. Because Craig, didn’t you yourself live outside the Thuringowa electorate when you first stood for the seat, and only moved within its boundaries after voters gave you a ticket on the gravy train? This is exactly what Sam Cox has declared he will do if he is elected.

Funny thing, though, Craig, can’t remember your  indignant huffing and puffing about not caring for the electorate when your colleague from the neighboring seat of Mundingburra, Lindy ‘FIFO’ Nelson-Carr upped sticks and moved to Brisbane when hubby got a job down there. She saw no problem (and neither did you) with representing her North Queensland seat from the state capital, managing to fly in and fly out when the moment took her fancy. You can bet your bloody last cent – which we’ll all be down soon to thanks to the efforts of you and your mates – that Lindy didn’t do her shopping in Mundingburra when she had the delights of Brisland dancing before her eyes every day.    

Really, mate, this tawdry little tactic is more than a bit rich, considering the ALP has at least four candidates nominated for seats in which they don’t live … and in the case of Gregory, centered on the ALP's  birthplace Barcaldine, the Labor uni student candidate has never set foot in the seat and says he has no intention of doing so (Brisbane uni classes don’t allow the 20-year-old the time for the trip – gosh, those kids do it tough).

Chutzpah indeed.

On other related matters, is there no relief in sight for poor, benighted Charters Towers? For years, folks out there have had to endure the bat plague, and all the poo and smell involved, but now, there is a new mutation – just as pooey and smelly - with a rare species joining in the racket and despoiling of the local scenery. The White Topped Gurgling Ding Bat is starting to cause a mega- noise problem, and is threatening to spread its pestilence beyond the Towers out into the whole state.

Yep, it’s none other than Bob The Bludger Katter. In a belligerent, gurgling and squeaking rant on ABC radio this week, he defiantly and defensively admitted that he hasn’t bothered going down to Canberra when parliament has been sitting lately. He’s been too busy drumming up support for his party’s candidates in the state election. In which he himself is not a candidate.

But if his party gets 4% of votes in the up coming Queensland poll, his party will be entitled certain public moneys – quite a bit of dosh, in fact. If the Cut Snake Party achieves 4% or better of the primary vote, Bob the Bludger will get something like $1.50 for each vote.  Which will then be used to mount a federal campaign for the Cut Snake Party.

So Bob The Bludger is setting up this little earner while being paid to be a pest in Canberra, not in Queensland. Just the sort of double-dealing double-dipper we need running our affairs right now. Katter is like a stopped clock – right only twice a day. The rest is thought-disordered, embarrassing flapdoodle.

Mind you, one of his candidates, Ray Griggs (hope that’s right, couldn’t be bothered looking it up) gave us all a nice moment on ABC radio on Monday. That interviewing fist in a velvet glove, Paula Tapiolas, asked Mr G what his background was and he answered ‘Prison’ – pause – ‘and before that, 13 years in Queensland Rail’. What he was somehow saying that he’d been a prison warder (oh, all right, sorry, a Corrective Service Officer’) after doing what sounded like hard time in the railways. ('G’day, Ray, mate, let me show you what gandy dancing and wheel tapping is all about, just look under here, heh heh heh.’)

Hope you’ve got your old job locked in, Ray.

No midweek drinking at Poseurs, so see you again on Saturdee.




  1. Hypocrisy and dirty tricks seem to be mandatory components of the grubby Labor political package.

  2. i think you had better write every day !!!!!!!! Drive the pricks mad

  3. minnie the moocherMarch 15, 2012 at 3:26 PM

    Absolute gold today Magpie!

    Wallace is an absolute idiot if he thought he would get away with the wife's name on it ...... but no mention of him or Labor.

    We had it delivered out here yesterday (Rupertswood) so delivery area was wide spread so I would say it was a " whole of electorate mail-out" as Condon, Kelso, Kirwan (several parts) Rangewood, Rupertswood across the electorate.
    It was delivered by Aust Post as UMS so that would cost roughly $2500 for the whole electorate.
    Would love to see the Aust. Post paperwork for the UMS - I bet it was paid for from his postage(electoral) allowance??

    1. minnie the moocher quoted costs a bit high for aust post entire costs for council division 14.5 cents per residence.

  4. Re the flyer.

    There is no mention of Craig Wallace or the ALP but
    what a dope to have it authorised by his wife. Wallace stayed out
    of the brochure because for the first two terms he did not live in the
    electorate either.