Saturday, May 4, 2013

Mrs Cut Snake goes shopping – regally … and News Ltd gives the game away; their latest self-spruiking promotional drive is toe-curlingly embarrassing – and revealing.

And the paper proves it has the same problem in the news pages – yes, another chapter in the touching saga of The Sins of Simpo.

Also, WIN TV News is giving The Daily Astonisher a run for its money in the chronic cock-up stakes …
Dean Martin will be spinning his grave when an Aussie musical clever clogs gives Julia Gillard a homage to the tune of That’s Amore – only it’s now ‘That’s a Pork-kay’ - as in porkie – clever stuff.

Plus an old colleague departs the scene, - Bentley thinks that we’re going to be selling off more than the farm - and an ‘exclusive’,  ‘revealing’ look at Black Caviar getting ready for her foaling duties (document obtained under Freedom of Information laws).

It’s all here all in the nest at

First up, having thrashed everything on the race track, Black Caviar seems now to be looking for a bit of a belting herself behind the mating barn, as our ‘exclusive’ pic ‘reveals’.

And the other miscellaneous matter comes from America, where the Richmond Times Despatch ran a story concerning a dump truck driver who 'who dropped more than 59,000 pounds of treated human excrement  on Interstate 295' and was charged with 'failure to contain his load'. Bummer.

On the home front, let’s first get a quick lesson in what American funnyman Dave Barry terms ‘the proper grammatorical usagality of English, both orally and in the form of words’.

Memo WIN News Director: being an equal opportunity employer does not extend to hiring a chronic dyslexic to do your news captioning. And it’s not just here and there; there have been literally dozens of schoolboy howlers over the past year alone (see Catchy O’Toole from last week). Facebook has regular examples – well done, Cam.

Noted from just a single bulletin, last Sunday night. A rozzer investigating if there was foul play in a Brisbane house fire was captioned as a ‘member of the homocide squad’.  What, was this possibly a gay hate killing?

Noted in the same bulletin was a reckless intro about the gal’s clash between quote, ‘The Pulse and The Magic, the heavyweights of netball’. Some of them certainly bloody big Brunhildes, but linking heavyweight with anything to do with females is courting disaster from all angles except the pub's front bar.

The WIN scriptwriting is none too hot, with the reader telling us that in future, flood damaged bridges would be ‘built more reliable’. 

One hopes that in the future, this news service gets more betterer.

But they’re not alone. Subs are much enamored of their own drollery, and this often blinds them to an obvious idiocy.

This from today’s Astonisher.

Even if it is a play on the word write/right, it’s plain silly – anyway, like the paper's dwindling band of readers, The ‘Pie thinks it’s just another mistake. Regular readers may remember that News Ltd has particular trouble with the word ‘write’ – in their spurious, fruitless and illegal demand of $1500 from The ‘Pie for alleged breach of photographic copyright, (they never once said what pics,were used where and when) their invoice demanded money for ‘copywrite’ infringement. After a year of attempted bullying and threats of all sorts legal mayhem, they’ve dropped off, presumably realizing the error of their ways. The idiocy extends all the way to the bean counters, it seems. Hi, Ross.

More on The Astonisher later, but as we usually do, let’s have a laugh before we cry.

Do have a squizz at this. There are a lot of musical parodies around targeting Joolya, many very ho hum, but this is more a humdinger. Our Prime Minister’s penchant for, as the Poms say, ‘being economical with the truth’ is an ideal subject for musical wit. Haven’t seen better in this genre.

Back to local matters, and a time honored aristocratic term, redolent with all its Downtown Abbey inferences, came to mind in dusty old Townsville this week.

noblesse oblige |nōˈbles ōˈblē zh | the inferred responsibility of privileged people to act with generosity and nobility toward those less privileged : there was to being a celebrity a certain element of noblesse oblige.

The Magpie learnt that the wife of The Cut Snake Party (aka Katter’s Australia Party) founder, Susie Katter, had decided to do a bit of shopping while on a visit to the ‘Ville recently. 

A Magpie mate tells the old bird that a somewhat bemused proprietor of the all-things-nautical store The Navigation Centre in Railway Estate received a hush-hush, keep-it-under-wraps call from a person who was presumably Susie’s PA/minder. She was on her way!!! Why Susie has PA anyway is another question for another time, but said PA advised the store that they were soon be graced with the presence of Mrs Bob Katter. No reason was given for the heads up, unless a 21-gun salute was expected.

A short time later, there was a second call, this time to discuss what Mrs Katter was seeking. Alas the shopping list is not available to The ‘Pie so his curiosity is further piqued by the Centre’s phone book blurb, which tells us that it can supply ‘flags, maps, charts, compass (sic), barometer(sic)’. (Strange to apparently have lots of the other stuff but only one compass and one barometer.) 

The visit was made and now remains shrouded in mystery. Just why the two warning calls were deemed necessary may never be known, although there would be plenty of people pleased to be warned that her hubby was heading their way – they’d be leaping through back windows and off balconies onto their horses if Big Bob was acomin’ to town.

But the question is - is Susie running away to sea, has it all become too much for her? Or have she and Bob decided to chuck it all in, now the kids are out of the house, and sail off into the beckoning Pacific?

Not likely. 

Last December, the Courier Mail ran a wittily headlined article  ‘The United States of Bob’, in which Jordan Baker described Susie Katter as Bob's ‘often embarrassed but fiercely loyal wife.’ Her honesty can hardly be questioned, when she told The Age that she wished Bob would ‘talk less and dress better’. Oh, if only he’d listen to the missus.

And The ‘Pie having made merry of this inconsequential incident, would like it known that while doing his penal servitude at The Daily Astonisher, he had reason to chat with Mrs Katter on a few occasions, and that Bob should thank his lucky stars for her. Mrs Katter was always friendly, unfailingly polite and like son Robbie, seems to have retained her full bag of marbles and has been immune to catching any lunacy gene floating in the Cloncurry air. The ‘Pie reckons we ought to elect her – after all Flo made a pretty good fist of it, and her husband was just as loopy.

Someone not making too good a fist of it, according to quite a few folks, is erstwhile federal treasurer Peter Costello, who is morphing into some sort of political Harvey Norman by promoting a justifiably hackle-raising fire sale of state-owned assets.

The ‘Pie reckons The Smirker might have a Chinese offer for the Great Barrier Reef in his hip pocket for a future surprise (‘They want it to match their Great Wall, see’), but Bentley is outraged (he really is) and as usual, vents his spleen eloquently.

Other matters.

Sad news from England for the old bird this week, with the passing of his old squash partner and top-notch television reporter Desmond Hamill. Certainly one of the best television reporters of his day, Desmond had that trait rare to his professional breed – modesty and generosity about the contribution of others to the finished product. 

Desmond Hamill (r) on assignment in Sudan,
with his cameraman Sebastian Rich

The ‘Pie did several ‘tours of duty’ to Belfast and Ulster as Desmond’s field producer, and watched him first hand in action. He was among the best of a top notch bunch from all channels in that ‘golden era’ of television journalism.

But there are two things for which The ‘Pie will always recall about Desmond: he was ten years older than the brash swaggering young  ‘Pie, but he regularly thrashed this upstart Aussie on the squash court – never got within cooee, all I got was a frequent bruising.

The other anecdote concerns him but is not about his own exploits.

One Sunday shift in the 1970s, with the ITN News not on until six o’clock, we all trooped off to reporter Jilly Strickland’s nearby flat for lunch. The somewhat reserved but friendly newsreader Rory McPherson came along, and it transpired that – possibly with a little chicanery from others – he unwittingly consumed a couple of hash cookies. When the normally staid Rory then took to the newsreader desk for the night’s bulletin, a slightly glazed look was the only inkling of what was to come.

There was a story from Northern Ireland – unhappily in all ways, a rather gruesome and bloody one – and the reporter was Desmond Hamill. Despite reading some grim words of introduction, Rory appeared to smile and even seemed to have a small giggle before he then said the immortal words ‘ … and now this report from Dismal Harold’.

But Dismal Harold he was not, he was anything but.  Desmond is survived by his wife and two children. He was 76, and by his own estimation, he ‘had had a good run.’ This obituary in the London Telegraph shows the broad reach of his professional life, including being kidnapped, and getting Ronald Biggs to kiss the ground.

Indeed you did have a good run, mate, RIP.

From proper journalism to ... well, something somewhat less.

The beating core of any news organisation is just that - news … the breadth, balance and honesty of its coverage of daily events, good and bad.  And if you get facts wrong, or spin them to run some agenda to become commentators rather than reporters in the news columns, the whole publication, even the good stuff,  suffers a crisis of credibility.

When it comes to fair and positive coverage, The ‘Pie reckons that the majority of people in Townsville have about as much confidence in the Townsville Bulletin as Gina Rinehart has in her undie elastic.

Here are a couple of examples. This media release was issued by the Townsville City Council  a couple of weeks ago. This sort of story is meat and potatoes in a small community that wants to be proud of its progress. There was a time when this news of awards such as these would’ve been a front page mention and pointer if not the main story itself.

But the relentless negativity and anti-council agenda of the editorial shot-callers (who by the way, go against the opinion of the overwhelming majority of ratepayers and voters) dictates that stories must have self-indulgent too-clever-by-half headlines with 'news points' that would have us believe we live a alcohol-sodden cesspit of crime, disease and incompetent civic management.

Think The ‘Pie is a bit over the top here? 

Well, this is what happened to the awards story – it was shuffled off to the in-basket of the weekly throw-over free paper The Sun, and in Ogden Street terms, that is in itself a comment of its perceived second class worth. The Bulletin never fails to pinch the occasional good shock/horror stories unearthed by the Sun’s small team, but pushes a lot of ‘unworthy’ stuff to the weekly.

But The Sun wasn’t overly taken with good news either, so what happened? The story ran towards the back of the paper – in the classifieds pages!

That’s News Ltd’s vote of confidence in an award-winning council.

The second matter is even more blatant, and yet again, made ‘revealer’ Anthony ‘Simpo Templeton look like a gormless galoot limping along behind the times. The ‘Pie has already mentioned this matter in the comments area during the week, but for those who don’t get the subscriber’s email automatically sending comments, (log on, it's free and non-fattening) this is worth airing again – sorry to those of you for whom this is a double-up.

Written by The 'Pie, the following is as posted last Wednesday:

Look, there's just so much insulting nonsense going on in The Daily Astonisher, The Magpie will now make comment to subscribers (recommend it, its free) when and as necessary - daily is likely - and won't save all the paper's excesses up until Saturday. (There'll still be plenty left over).

Two matters deserve mention today, both involving ace 'revealer' Anthony Simpo (as in Simpleton) Templeton.

Yesterday (Tuesday) all media outlets received this release from the Townsville City Council,

which details the closure hours on Castle Hill for annual maintenance work on the road and the various tracks and some infrastructure As the release explained, the work is done historically around now because it is nominally the end of the wet season. 

Clear, timely and unambiguous.

Today (Wednesday) enter Simpleton. 

It is clear there is a wrong-headed mind-set at the Bulletin, and particularly with this reporter, that there has to be friction, some sort of confrontation, which can be used to make anything 'news'. Especially if,  for unfathomable reasons, it can give the council an undeserved kick.

This is 'metro-think' and ignores the reality of who this paper's audience is. So click here to see what we got from Nth Queensland's ace 'revealer'


Even with this mob, you'll have to wait a long time for a more fatuous and dishonest headline than 'Council urged to cut hill overgrowth' - something the Bulletin was clearly informed about 24 hours earlier and knew was already happening. But no, we had to have some disaffected whinger - or possibly, some mythical person dreamed up for the exercise, pretty safe name since there are more than 70 J Smith's in the telephone book - ramping up the perceived dangers lurking in the undergrowth.

Then Simpleton goes on to quote from the media release or tediously (many councillors will now not take his calls) have those who will speak to him repeat the media release verbally. Yet another example of setting up a story with a bogus out-of-date complaint and then ingenuously knocking it down with what they already knew further down in the yarn. It just makes the paper and reporter look juvenile and silly. 

This really is insulting bullsh-t of the first order.

But wait there's more, as the steak knife man said to Kevin Rudd. 

In another story involving Simpo, a headline screams 'City leaders demand port windfall be spent in north'. 

Trouble is, they said no such thing. They wouldn't be silly enough to-presumably.

The headline, probably written elsewhere, was just there to whip up some faux indignation about a hypothetical  that is a long way off happening, if it ever does. Simpo did his job well enough,(well, even a stopped clock is right twice a day) getting a good cross section of 'informed' comment (God bless Carey Ramm, he really filled in what the paper should have been pointing out for ages), but the closest we got to 'demands' was a mild and mousey quote from Chamber of Commerce head Dawson Wilkie- quoth he '... we would hope to see some of the proceeds come back to North Queensland.' Some demand!

TEL and ratepayer 'salary rorter' David The Kipper Kippen made some confused comment about local investors having a chance for some of the action, which leads one to ask David, mate, maybe you were a bank manager, but that obviously doesn't mean you have an inkling about economics, does it? A lunch with Carey Ramm would be of great benefit to you, and would give some veracity to your public comments, old son. 

Check the story here

 The Pie offers the links because he feels if you rush out and buy the paper, it will only encourage them, as a kid is encouraged to be naughty to be noticed.

Finally, consider the following.

Talk about outing yourself.

The current promotional campaign by News Ltd for its regional papers – Townsville Bulletin, Cairns Post and Gold Coast Bulletin – has the theme ‘We’re for  …’ with a suitable location inserted.

Like this, in Cairns, where they didn’t hold back, with a special wrap-around front page to promote themselves.

The Townsville Bulletin was a tad more restrained, and modestly donned the mantle of being '... For  North Queensland’.

Err, chaps, this really does beg the question - what else could you be - unless you've perceived that you're not seen as local champions.

This is passing strange, to say the least. It seems a bit like saying ‘We’re for motherhood’, or ‘we’re for breathing’. The laughable lie that these papers are ‘for’ their various communities should be a given in normal circumstances, and we should not need any reminding or convincing of the fact. Of course, we’ve all long known through swingeing ad rates, mass sackings and agenda driven commentary parading as journalism that these pathetic headless chooks of publications are about reefing as much dough out of the community and sending it south to the Murdoch’s Sydney counting house, leaving not a skerrick behind.

When any newspaper in a defined circulation area has to start spending valuable in-house space promoting itself as being ‘for’ its community, then it follows there must be some awareness that this isn’t the opinion of the punters. Now, those of us who are numbered in the tens of thousands – based on who doesn't buy these papers – already know, there is a question mark over any real connection to the communities when Murdoch papers are managed by venal fly-in teams of editorial and management carpetbaggers from the south. They give bugger all back to these cash cow regions, if anything at all. They don’t even give us thoughtful, intelligent reporting, which cost just the same as the heavily spun agendas and space-filling boring columns written mainly by kiddies with bugger all life experience. 

They feel the same down on The Coast, where Peter Typo Gleeson is now the sock puppet editor for former head journo and the local mayor’s campaign manager Bob Gordon. No wonder that paper is taking a lop-sided view of issues, especially the destruction of the last bit of natural seafront, The Spit, which Mayor Tom Tate wants for a cruise ship terminal (sound familiar?).

And the paper's detractors are none too subtle about it, either. We'll give this week's last word to them.


  1. From Suzanne:
    'always good, always entertaing Pie'


  2. The "ace revealer" if you remember was upset that councillors didn't send him Christmas Cards. Now he appears upset that some councillors don't return his phone calls! Why would they when he twists good news stories into spiteful negativity. Responses from councillors in phone conversations apparently not faithfully printed, instead his own "revealing untrue nonsense". Simpleton is an embarrassment why would anybody want to talk to him?

  3. A great read as usual. Perhaps Mrs Cut Snake is the brains behind Bob's KAP. And searching for navigaion aids really isn't much of a suprise consdiering Bob and his party has been and will continue to be in the polical wilderness.

  4. One I thought you'd pick up on. The self congratulations of winning some award for the Bulletins flat pack advertising campaign. The only problem is, it didn't work. The nosedive in circulation has actually escalated since flat packs arrived.

    1. Re the FOR campaign ... Your blog this week is spot on.. they've burned dozens of pages on this utterly useless propaganda campaign, trying to convince people that they give a sh-t, in fact they know nothing and care nothing (the editorial bosses that is, the journos are mostly cool with exception of a very identifiable few) - but they have no say and are at the mercy of the agenda machine.

    2. Re The flat pack award.

      Yes, if things are going so swimmingly, the Page 2 story on Thursday (light years away from the more impressive and community-relevant council awards buried down in the classifieds of the junior free publication The Sun) why not a few figures to back it up? You can guess the answer to that.

      But the big chuckle here is that the award was for the advertisement, and not the paper - except in the sense that it paid for the ad. Surely it would've been more appropriate for someone from the ad agency to collect the gong. But marketing manager and freebie recipient Susan Gillespie said it all (if she actually did say it) when she was quoted in the paper 'to collect this award in front of an international audience is surreal'.

      Desperate days indeed.


    A new and (sadly) regular WTF feature in this comments column, posted as and when needed .... like at least once a day probably.

    Trouble in headline land:
    Snappy headlines have always been part and parcel of the newspaper business, but if a reporter or sub gets carried away with their own cleverness, insensitivity is just one of the pitfalls - and a knowledge of established phrases would come in handy, too.

    1. So the back page screamer on Saturday about the death of the young Cowboy player Alex Elisala gave us 'MOURNING GLORY". The pun is clear enough, but the meaning is somewhat obscure. Morning Glory is a flower, a 2010 American comedy movie, and the unique cloud formations over Burketown, all of which seem irrelevant to the story. But this is where smart-arsery gets the better of headline writers who become overwhelmed by their own cleverness - because to generations of Aussies - especially sporty types - 'morning glory' is the erection that blokes get when they wake up in the morning. One wonders how the family and friends of Mr Elisala feel about his tragedy being compared with a blokes early AM boner.

    2. From today's paper (Monday May 6) a headline that confuses and could be about any old thing. No matter how you read it, or even when you see the content of the story 'Long May Reign For March' makes no sense at all - as though the writer was on the wacky weed at the time (well anything's possible nowadays down there in the bowels of the Murdoch beast).

    3. Consistency is always a good thing, which is the purpose of the News Ltd Style Book. Today's paper again, we have the headline 'Drug Dogs Nab Revellers on Niteclub Strip'. 'Nite' is an ugly Americanism at the best of times, imported via Tv and used by lazy and/or ignorant writers who are cultural hunchbanks unwilling or unable to stand up for the society in which they live.. But just to muddle matters, in the first six pars of the story, there appears phrases such as ' Friday night', 'nightclub strip', 'late-night traders association' and quote" Sgt Sands said it was the fourth time the dogs had been unleashed on the nightclub strip in four years'. Not a 'nite' in sight ... or will that become 'site'.

    So which is it? Fellas, check out your style book, where you won't find 'nite' mentioned, which means it is such an oibvious no-no it doesn't deserve a mention. But then have a squizz at page 127, where night attire, nightgowns and nightclothes are mentioned. This is the entry immediately above the entry giving the correct spelling of euthanasia exponent Dr Philip Nitschke - very apt, since journos are apparently trying to euthanise the English language.

    Now all this will be dismissed as the ranting of a cranky old codger, and all the above doesn't really matter, 'f-ck him'. And therein lies the problem, folks - it DOES matter if you want to have any credibility at all.

    But one suspects that horse has already boilted.

    Feel free to contribute here if you spot something which ... well, astonishes you. TV too if you want ... WIN is a target-rich environment.

    1. Just another bit of advice overlooked above.

      The News Ltd Style Book pages 46 and 47 has a long section headed:

      'Americanisms should be avoided' - and then follows some of the more obvious and not so obvious examples. The section ends with this:
      'American spellings - change to English spellings.

      You're given the style book for a reason, you know, but then, headless chooks no doubt have as much trouble reading as they do writing.


  6. Scotch BingingtonMay 6, 2013 at 11:31 AM

    Pie, it looks like your readership must be declining if you are making up more than one-third of the comments personally (not including this one).
    Figures like that would drive me to drink.
    Maybe you should pour yourself a stiff one.
    Here's a tip from an old pro, resist the urge to defame, most lawyers would advise against doing it so regularly.

    1. Take another swig, Scotch.

      The number of published comments don't reflect the page view figures in any way, and the readership numbers are slowly growing. The correlation between the two is a false conflation. A lot of comments aren't published for those legal reason you so dread or they're just ad hominen attacks rained down the head of this blameless old bird, always submitted by a courageous 'anonymous'. Newsflash for you of that ilk - if you want to diss The 'Pie with no other purpose than some schoolboy name calling, start your own bloody blog, me old dears. You obviously can't use the pages of the newspaper you work for - your under strict instructions not to give 'the old bastard' any oxygen. The 'Pie returns the compliment.

      And Scotch, me old turnip, The 'Pie would be much interested to hear from you examples of the old bird's defaming of people operating in the public arena. God knows, half the readership are lawyers looking for a nice little earner. The reality of cyberspace nowadays maks for a tricky legal landscape, and anyway, none of the urgers will be getting a new spinnaker for their yacht from the old bird any time soon. Like ever - blood from a stone an' all that.

      Truth remains a defence if someone wants to be a smartarse, and few have ever been willing to sue for satire for fear of being paraded before a wider audience.

  7. I'd love to join you in finding astonishing things, 'Pie, but I stopped even picking up copies left lying around when the Astonisher took to filling its pages with "boring columns written mainly by kiddies with bugger-all life experience" -- all of 'em posing with their arms folded, bless 'em, as if their fashion-store changing room experiences and Via Vomitorium adventures would be riveting reading for anyone but themselves. The most astonishing thing is it's still selling... or the advertisers believe it is. We must have a lot of crossword and horoscope addicts in the Ville.

  8. Well it has finally happened, I am/was a daily reader of the Bulletin, but no more.
    The play on words is getting a bit much and a little childish for this duck.

  9. I must have missed something…

    I did not think that rather ordinary and mundane flat pack advertising campaign was anything out of the box. It was all a bit ho-hum. Is it like the fashion designers or building industry awards that go to one of the club, rather than assessed on actual merit? Like some judicial appointments under the former Labor State Government and soon-to-be late Federal Labor Government? (oooh – nasty, nasty)

    Obviously, the award was much more important and newsworthy than the three (!) LGMA awards won by the TCC.

    Since we are playing Media Watch Lite (or should that be “light”??), I was appalled – and a little nauseated - by an article in the Sunday Mail where the male reporter was extolling the virtues of pink lace brassieres (with matching knickers) for men. He went into some detail about the tribulations of loose bra straps and pinching of the shoulder fat. Judging by his photograph, he was fat, forty and follicly challenged. He ended the article by saying that his wife was impressed about the contrast between the pink frilly bra and his chest hair. As the younger ones say, WTF??? I suppose it is not often that one gets paid to indulge in their fav fetish – but, seriously, in a newspaper? Does the public need to know about it? Crass and vulgar tripe.

    I’m with Woodduck – if I see a copy of the Bully-Tin on the staff room table, I shall pick it up to check out the Phantom strip, but no more. No way I would part with good money to have my intelligence insulted – I can get that for free (or nearly - $0.08 per day from memory) by watching Q&A.

  10. If there was ever an example of Simpo's anti council bias it was that disgusting rubbish about those annoying and ILLEGAL buskers. He is so obviously biased against every action the council takes, such as enforcing their local LAWS. He is completely incompetent and an absolute idiot. He should focus on losing some weight instead of inventing made up stories and lying. Can we please petition the council to have him banned from Townsville? I'm sure there would be more signatures then the daily paper sales.

  11. Anonymous, you're even more vindictive and defamatory then (or should that be "than"?) the Magpie. I didn't think that was possible!

    It is worth noting that the journalist who wrote the story was inundated with calls from angry buskers on Tuesday, telling him how disgustingly pro-council and anti-busking the article was. In truth, the story was - contrary to what the two stakeholders involved might say - a perfectly balanced and fair article.

    No one, including the buskers, were denying they were breaking a local law. They were complaining that the law exists in the first place, and the fact that you can't apply for a permit to busk on Flinders St East. The article was about the enforcement of the said law, with viewpoints from the individuals affected and the council. Would you like to point out where and how it is biased and unfair towards the council? Or would you prefer to carry on with your ad hominem and slanderous arguments? Over to you.

    And Magpie, you are just as legally responsible for comments which appear on your blog as the person who writes them. I presume you think it's OK to call someone incompetent, when they are clearly not? And fat?! Tempo's a modern Adonis if ever I've seen one...

    Anthony Galloway

    1. Paul Anderson of PimlicoMay 8, 2013 at 7:41 PM

      Buh-limey. Defensive, much? Well, it looks like the buskers might not have gotten it, but to anyone else with two brain cells to rub together, it looks for all the world as though that busking article was yet another blast at council. It sure seems to me (and a lot of others, apparently) that those charged with 'reporting' on council matters take a dim view of just about everything council touches, however reasonably, these days (although the Mayor seems to escape such criticism; why IS that? Would this apparent criticism be as harsh if it were a Labor majority in command?).

    2. Sort of like being mugged by a hampster, ain't it...

      Anthony (if it is really you), I am sure that the 'Pie has more than a passing knowledge of the laws of defamation and libel. Not needy is he of gratuitous advice from a slimy little neonate.

      Your declaration of the love-that-dare-not-speak-its-name for pudgy young Mr Boy Boobs does explain a lot. Hint: do not hitch yourself to his wagon - them Indians are coming, they have sharp arrows..

      Is someone taking the piss?

    3. Phew!!!

      Quote: 'Fat? Tempo's a modern Adonis if I ever saw one'.Unquote

      One is entitled to presume you never have seen one, if that is your yardstick. But, as they say, love is blind. Or as Clayton Smales so perceptively once said ' there's a lid for every pot'.

      But, mate - is this unrequited love or what - is that creaking sound in the background a rusty-hinged closet door shyly being edged open? If it is, The 'Pie is flattered and honoured that you've chosen his blog on which to 'come out'. Your pals down in the Burdekin - perhaps even your folks - will be a tad surprised at what appears to be a frank admission of what is esstentially a personal lifestyle choice. And that is not to mention a certain lassie one hears you've been stringing along, you devil, you.

      If the above be true, you may be interested to learn that the term 'as hominem' - which you no doubt learnt reading Townsvillemagpie - means 'to the man' . Well at least that tells us where you're ...ummm ... coming from.

      And thanks for the lesson in legals, dearie, especially about my responsibility regarding comments on this blog - one takes it that you mean the same way The Astonisher is responsible for comments in Text The Iditor.

      Best stick to Raggers advice and guidance - he's one of the few left there who can show you what this calling is all about.

    4. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

    5. But, Magpie I must have misunderstood the rules of this blog: if you want to prove someone has erred in a professional capacity you don't mount a solid argument, you just call them names. I was just responding in the only way this blog allows - in a ridiculous and juvenile manner.

      But I see what you've done there sir, you've taken my remark (which was a joke) and mixed it with the metaphor "coming out of the closet" to denote homosexuality. Just brilliant.

      But you don't stop there, you've done the investigative journalism to lend more weight to such witty prose. How did you ever find out I have friends in the Burdekin? Or about any women I have, or have not, been dating? I'm sure your psychologist has told you that stalking the Facebook accounts of 20-something men is not healthy Magpie. The things you do in the name of journalism...

      Anthony Galloway

    6. Oh Anthony, aren't you just he git that just keeps on giving. Dearie me, where to start?

      Here's a few pearls from The 'Pie.

      1. Where did you see any 'rules' pertaining to this blog? You must've if you have misunderstood them. The 'Pie doesn't recall issuing any, or seeing the need for any beyond his own ethics - such as they are - because it's his blog.

      2. You seem a tad confused on this beat-up about buskers - The 'Pie never mentioned the issue, but did publish someone else's comment broaching the subject. The old bird has not expressed an opinion on buskers or on the author of this thin-as-gruel overwritten and somewhat confused yarn. (There, now see what you've done, you've made The 'Pie comment on it!) It was you who decided to link the blog author to the comment with a bumpious and ill-informed little legal homily to go with it. Is it then to be understood by your linkage reasoning that your Iditor and The Astonisher's management hold the views of all letters and texts to the paper?

      3. Quote: '... if you want to prove that someone has erred in a professional capacity, you don't mount a solid argument, you just call them names'. Really? Whenever The 'Pie has comments on a story and its author or what he sees as The Astonisher's not-so-hidden agendas, he makes merry with some names and observations, but always clearly states where he feels any error is. Was The Magpie just calling names when he dubbed Michael Wilkins The Ogre of Ogden Street when The Magpie 'revealed' the Townsville Bulletin's mass sackings, and that he ordered the firings were not to be reported in the paper? Was he just calling Typo names when he 'revealed' that Gleeson, so frustrated with the accuracy of this blog's commentary, had had a brain snap and attempted to bully The 'Pie's daughter? That incidentally was the revelation that forced him to formally apologise to her, as ordered by Holt Street.

      4. Interesting admission that you 'fess up to being 'juvenile and silly' - that would seem to sum up your fevered reasoning on this matter. Here's how it worked old son - you made a joke - linking Adonis and Simpo could be nothing else - and The Pie replied given the faux gay tone of your quip. Are you the only one allowed to make jokes, with a ban on any ripostes? Dream on, pup.

      5. Now that bit about 'investigative journalism' is a truly sad comment, because you clearly equate trolling around Facebook and other areas that publicly offer private information as 'investigative journalism'. The very first thing you folk do when some newsworthyy (ha!) event happens is head for Facebook - for just one instance, the stomach-churning and grossly irresponsible Facebook pap about that violent criminal idiot who was stupid enough to kill himself during a pub break-in. The same applies to any teenager - anyone under 25 really - who carks it for whatever reason. This mawkish turn-off (look at the figures, mate) assists the paper in wallowing in its own wrong perception of its audience. Says it all really. But The 'Pie did neither regarding your good self - a friend long ago told the old bird you come from a highly respected Burdekin family (of whom I know nothing - why would I?). And the mention of the girls in your life - one imagines 'women' is putting it a bit too high up the age scale unless your the abject object of cougars - was a continuation of the riposte.

      Anthony, The Magpie has enjoyed our jousting, which it is reasonable to expect has now come to an end.

      The smart money is that you'll get a tap on the shoulder and be told to cease and desist ... letting on you even read this drivel is sin enough at The Daily Astonisher; actually engaging the old bird will get your arse kicked 'til your nose bleeds. Or at least you will be counselled by Attila the Hen who just might peck you to death.

    7. Adonis, the beautiful youth of Greek myth? Legend has it that he was killed by a boar! 'Pie, there's a play on words in there somewhere, just can't put my finger on it.

  12. Always good, always entertaining. Soon you'll be paying to read the Astonisher/

  13. Unleash the DogsMay 8, 2013 at 1:12 PM

    Why did the Mayor Jenny Hill allow Labor opposition leader Anastacia Whatsherfaca to use Council Chambers for a political rally....???

    I noted the Astonisher left the venue to the last line?? I thought Jenny was not aligned with any political party. Please explain Mayor?

  14. In todays Bully article by Anthony Templeton Re: Share the Vision - Leaders' plans for state to be unveiled. He starts off with "Leading local political figures....

    may I ask why couldn't he name them? Is this Hathaway and Cox???? How could a journalist leave out this important information ... and why.... Yet he manages to name Hill and Blom??? Curious. Also as this is about the vision for QLD, seems this is lost on the mayor who says she is going to bring up job cuts .... what is this article masquerading as...? poor poor journalism as usual...

  15. Ummm ... did Galloway just respond to your blog in a ridiculous and juvenile way .... his words , mind ...

  16. quote ~ you're even more vindictive and defamatory then (or should that be "than"?) the Magpie ~ unquote

    I leave the legal stuff to the Magpie but when someone genuinely doesn't know the meanings of everyday one-syllable words he really ought to consider any career but journalism.

    Simpo doesn't know when to use then or than. And The Astonisher doesn't need sub-editors.

    I knew if I waited long enough I'd find something Astonishing without actually needing to read the rag. Didn't think it would be quite that FAST!

  17. I just stumbled across an article from the Astonisher dated the 21st March where 3 people could win a trip to Mackay and have a say in the 30 year plan for Queensland.
    Now who were the winners as I haven't heard anything on this, or was it just not bothered with.