Saturday, June 22, 2013

Jenny’s jalopy; the Mystery of Mayor Mullet’s new car is solved – and the editor of the Townsville Bulletin upsets many with the Clanger of the Year.

It was something he hoped wouldn’t be noticed, but tough cheese, me old Iditor, you get the Blooper  of the Year – if not the decade – award. But the unintentional hurtful aspect has enraged some sections of the community.

Also, the King of the Nicknames Les Messagebank Walker earns yet a new moniker for some weird antics …

 … and as the national discourse is writ large in ever more purple prose, The Magpie has found the the ideal compromise candidate to take over in Canberra - judge for yourself.

All that and  some of the quotes of the week, all here in the nest at 

Last week, The Magpie  … just askin’, y’know … queried the origin of Mayor Mullet’s new set of council wheels, that ALP red Commodore SS V8 hoon car in which she now tools around town. The ‘Pie was reliably informed that Madam Hill gave the finger to local dealers and leased her $55,000 + ratepayer-funded chariot from outside Townsville.

Well, that’s just what she did, she travelled to Brisbane to mega-dealers Zupps, and did the deal down there. The ratepayers then ponied up an extra non-specified amount to have the vehicle shipped to Townsville, where madam excused herself from official duties for an hour or two so she could pick it up and bond lovingly with it for a while.
Red dress - red car - red face?

This is an interesting and arrogant look for a person elected to the highest position in this community, a large part of whose responsibility is to boost and encourage local business. Also from one who is endlessly simpering about the trials and tribulations of the ratepayers.

Mayor Mullet’s explanation, when the ABC’s Pat Hession directly checked The Magpie’s assertion with her was that part of her responsibility regarding the mayoral vehicle was to ‘get the best deal for Townsville ratepayers’. She said the local Tony Ireland franchise quoted a lease price $10,000 more than Zupps offered. (Anyone at TI Holden care to comment?)

Now, Mayor Mullet’s on-going mud-wrestle with maths has long been a constant source of bemused contemplation, and she is now telling us that a Brisbane dealer was knocking off 20% in an end-of-model deal. Really?  On exactly the same model? 

And we’ll ignore the cost of shipping it up here.

But even if that is accurate, Mullet m’dear, if you are so concerned about the cost to ratepayers, why a V8? Why not a V6, say, which would also help the ratepayers by not gulping so much fuel?  Or do you expect the ratepayers to foot the bill for your Lara Croft self-image?  Well, actually, the obvious answer to that is yes.

It all sends a wonderfully positive message to local businesses, doesn’t it, when Townsville’s representative to the world encourages people to shop in Brissy if you can’t get the best deal up here.  In a free market economy, absolutely nothing wrong with that mindset if you’re a private citizen. But this is ratepayers’ money.  

Even some of those businessmen leant on by Bagman Bazza Taylor to donate to your campaign see this as a finger to certain businesses who donated to Townsville First’s mayoral campaign and not yours.

There are those, and plenty of them, who are suggesting that using public money – ratepayers money - for a spiteful political get square ain’t a good look from any angle. Even if that isn’t true, it sure looks like it is.

You seem a little shame-faced about this anyway, and know there might be some awkward image problems with your Brisbane deal.  Would it be because you know that it is not a good look for our community leader to be supporting southern business over locals?

Otherwise, why would you have all decals and number plates identifying the dealer removed from your new buggy? It would look a tad conspicuous parked in the council car park next to the other councillors’ vehicles, all of which proudly display dealership decals and/or plates … Townsville dealerships every one. Except yours.

Anyway, poor choice of vehicle all round, Mullet. You should of bought a Jeep.

“I should’ve bought a Jeep, Magpie?’

‘Yes, Jenny, you should have bought a Jeep. And here’s the exact model which would suit the manner of your mayoralty so far.’

Air conditioned, too.


Funny things, nicknames. Yeah, well, that’s why they’re nicknames, they’re meant to be funny. The Pie remembers in the NRL years ago … the 70s in fact … TV’s George Negus had publicly vowed that he would not do any work outside his current affairs hosting on Channel Nine. There was at that time a pretty good albeit aging footy player whose one fault was that his performance fell off markedly in the latter part of games. He was dubbed ‘George Negus’ … because he only worked for 60 minutes. Boom tish, indeed.

But the local champion to attract nicknames is our old pal, Les Messagebank Walker. The Magpie bestowed that nickname way back when Les was asleep at the wheel as a Mooney pet councilor. He was known not to take calls, and not to answer messages left for him.

Messagebank - the Ghost Who Talks -
and now ......
But in his new guise as Mayor-In-Waiting – yes, he is that deluded, he’d give David Moyle a run for his money – Les has developed a habit of making a blustering goose of himself in council meetings, deigning to instruct his non-Labor colleagues of the error of their ways. Hence, the Townsville First folk have taken to calling him The Ghost Who Talks. (For those not up with the Phantom comic strip, The Phantom, aka The Ghost Who Walks, sometimes finds it necessary to don street clothes for disguise, calling himself Mr Walker … geddit, geddit?).

But those Townsville First jolly japesters have been rolling about at their own cleverness following a bizarre incident a couple of weeks ago. When the mathematically challenged Mayor Mullet handed down her budget, four or five of the Townsville Firsters met at one of their homes for a private meeting to discuss possible amendments and the general thrust of how they wanted the financial year to shape up.

Apparently, Messagebank got wind of this ‘secret’ meeting, and drove around the streets of Townsville, and – cue Pink Panther music here - snuck around various coucillors houses like a local version of Inspector Closeau, seeking the meeting to which he somehow hadn’t been invited. And thus, as Bentley gleefully illustrates, Les now has a new nickname.

With strains of Gilbert and Sullivan’s ‘With Cat-like Tread’ ringing in his ears, our Ghost Who Stalks was said to have been lumbered in the act, and angrily complained that he wanted in - he was upset that he hadn’t been included in those budget chit-chats. Oh, yes, he’s a political realist is our Les.

But as KRudd used to say, guess what? ... The Magpie agrees with him!!

Yes, Les should be included in those cosy little Townsville First extracurricular get-togethers to discuss the merits of various matters. But not every meeting and not all the time, mind, but … hmmm, … let’s say about as often as Fay Barker and David Crisafulli were invited into Tony Mooney’s pre-council, closed-door Labor caucus meetings all those years ago. Yep, that’d just about do it.

It’s boot foot-swapping time, Les, me ol’ darlin’.


Here’s a little jest that may be instructive down at the Daily Astonisher.

Hey, has The ‘Pie got it wrong or when News Ltd sacked local sub-editors and gave the jobs to Brisbane and New Zealand, wasn’t the trade off that we’d get a better, slicker and more error-free product?

Well dream on, it is apparent it was just about money-grubbing, not grammar. It has reached the stage where The ‘Pie lets so many of the cock-ups slide without comment, they are so many and so frequent. But examples abound every day. Like today, a court story had the following:

Commonwealth prosecutor Aaron Guilfoyle said the shipwreck sight was one of the world's top wreck dives in the world and needed to be preserved.

Mr Guilfoyle may well have said that, but being an educated and eloquent young chap, would never have written it, confusing ‘sight’ for ‘site’. Subs are supposed to back up busy reporters and have always been a self-regarding breed parading their wordly superiority at every opportunity. Bit hard to effectively upbraid them when they're thousands of kms away, and often not even in the same country. 

But that slip-up is absolutely nothing next to the truly unfortunate cock-up this week … and it was yet another one by the Iditor himself, Lachlan Heywood.

Here’s what went down.

On Wednesday, several of the worthies of the town – and the Mayor Jenny Hill – slept out ‘rough’, to raise awareness of homelessness for a St Vinnies’ campaign. Among them was Bishop Michael Putney, who insisted on supporting the cause with his presence, despite of recently having been diagnosed with stomach cancer, and has been given only months to live. A brave and principled man if ever there was one, it was also the eve and the start of what was in all likelihood, his final birthday.

The brave bishop was inspirational figure for the cause, and the Bulletin’s Emma Chadwick wrote a straightforward but touching story about the bishop’s night out and the event (Emma is one who knows how to let a story tell itself). She mentioned that Bishop Putney turned 67 that day.

Then we pop through to the editorial, which was full of comments of genuine regard and praise for a unique man of this community.

But then – disaster … no lesser word will do in editorial terms, given the blunder right at the end.

In case you can’t read it, Iditor Heywood’s editorial ends with:

The Townsville Bulletin would like to wish Bishop Putney a very special day on this his 76th birthday.’

What really hurts – and it hurt and angered many, many people – is that a minor piece of sloppy unprofessional work is magnified tenfold because it is offering its well-meant wishes for a birthday everyone, including Bishop Putney, knows he will not live to celebrate. And while he is an upright man who no doubt will readily forgive in this matter, there are others in his flock who cannot bring themselves to be so generous.

One would hope that there were some red faces and some toe-curling embarrassment when the error was discovered – for discovered it was, the on-line version of the editorial enjoyed but a half-life, disappearing quickly into the ether from which it should never have emerged, not to be found anywhere.

Subs are meant to know that things like this are incorrect, they build up years of this sort of minor knowledge of ages, birthplaces, all the minutiae that goes to make up a life of a person, a project, a community - experience that is now lost to Townsville. Editors are meant to know these things, too, and Mr Heywood would’ve surely known this if he read his own paper. The many stories about the sad circumstances of Bishop Putney have filled many pages of the paper over the months, and nearly all have made reference to his age.

The ‘Pie points this out to again demonstrate what we have lost with the wholesale sackings at the paper, and the cheap importation of other often irrelevant news just to save a few bob.

Lachlan Heywood
Oh, and special note to you, Lachy old son. The last time you made a mistake in an editorial – you confused the words ‘loose’ and ‘lose’ in your own editorial headline, no less – The Magpie reported the matter. On seeing this, you promptly called in your chief sub-editor of the time (he is no longer there) and accused him of ‘deliberately undermining’ you. It was a grubby accusation against a person who had given the paper decades of loyal and principled service, long before your southern parachute so unfortunately opened over this poor bloody city. An apology to the bishop would be nice, too.

Who are you going to blame and bully this time, Lachlan?

Try not to be too bitter when you contemplate the wisdom of Omar Khayyam .......

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

In most cases, no hankies needed, the moving finger now just reaches for the delete button, but this was not one of those occasions. But then, piety and wit seem to be in short supply at The Astonisher.

Still in the How Wrong Can You Get It Dept but on a wholly different matter, the old Omar's quote was no doubt on the mind of one letter writer years after he wrote this dismissive little bit of ‘how wrong can you get it’. It was from a BBC bod asked to judge the possibilities for a proffered comedy series.

But it must be said, without John Cleese, he may well have been right.

But boy, back home, when it comes to the federal Labor/Coalition circus, the moving finger is writ in the deepest of purple for its prose. Try this for size from Sydney Telegraph’s political correspondent Simon Benson.
''If this Parliament were a novel, it would be Cormac McCarthy's The Road - a post-apocalyptic nightmare of a civilised society descending into eternal darkness while humans wander a wasteland eating each other.''

Cor lumee.

The SMH and Age’s eloquent ranter Paul Sheehan at least stuck to some recognizable names and facts.

'I have never seen a gender divide like the one that now exists in Australian politics as a direct result of a cynical Prime Minister systematically and methodically insulting men and debasing feminism by invoking gender as a weapon to make false claims and cynical smokescreens. The result is as predictable as it is self-annihilating.
The implosion of the male vote for Labor, and the disaster unfolding for the party in Queensland, account for the rise of the living dead, Kevin Rudd.
But Rudd's supposed popularity is a myth, like the supposed massive public outrage and support for Gough Whitlam after he was sacked in 1975. When the electorate was given a chance to vote, it destroyed Whitlam.’

The short sharp message of all that comes comes from Paul Zanetti.

But what about the possibility of a compromise candidate for Labor? The Magpie thinks he’s found one.

Arrgh! The worst of both worlds. It’s enough to drive one to drink. In fact, it is away to Poseurs’ Bar, where The Pie will sock a few away … after all, if it’s good enough for Omar K, it’s good enough for this old bird.

And lately, by the Tavern Door agape,
Came shining through the Dusk an Angel Shape
Bearing a Vessel on his Shoulder; and
He bid me taste of it; and 'twas--the Grape!

Actually, no angel he, it was Mongrel the Barrister who owed me a few glasses of White Infuriator, but as to why we need to drink - especially in an election year, we’ll let you Omar, you old soak, have the last word ….

The Grape that can with Logic absolute
The Two-and-Seventy jarring Sects confute:
The sovereign Alchemist that in a trice
Life's leaden metal into Gold transmute:

Yeah, right. You're ok, OK.


  1. based on the support Tony Ireland has down with the naming rights of the Kirwan stadium and work at Tel/Crocs to promote Townsville along with all the other investments in the town, including upgrading the Woolcock facility and the rates payable it would be inconceivable that the Mayor would not support a local business.Early this year the mayor was hoping that local business would stump up and sponsor and support Council events.What a kick in the face for local business.

  2. Bloody Hell! I saw that composite pic of Julia and Kev and thought, 'hello, our Kevin has dragged up!'. So relieved to find its not true. He has crap legs in stockings anyway...

  3. I'm not one to support Mayor Mullett but it's well known that Townsville car dealers are not competitive on new car pricing and many people purchase from Brisbane,Sydney and Melbourne - still miles cheaper including freight, than buying locally. Madam may have also had access to the Qld Local Govt Association's purchasing clout via its suppliers - common in local government to get the best price. But then it wouldn't be a good look to be seen to be screwing Tony Ireland asking him to match it would it? As for a V8 - pffft waste of money but then it might be prescribed as the type of car for Madam's position in Council. If you recall His Radiance had a Statesman. Anyway they're all probably salary sacrificed as part of her package so the more expensive, the less tax she pays. Gotta love the system!

  4. "OH what a big weekend is in store for this little ole Friday columnist". Would the Bulletin Iditor PLEASE do something about Amanda Gray's banal and trivial columns? For a mature woman in her 30's (so she says) you'd think there would be some interesting life experiences to weave into a column - but not birthdays, the impending birth of a new niece/nephew and off course this weekend's super moon. Interesting it ain't, boring it is! And I can't believe they pay her to write this crap!

    1. You'll change your tune next week, Bully Boy, when Amanda shares her secrets on how she cuts her toenails, a novel technique involving bolt cutters while lying on her back with her feet on a wall.

    2. Parson BlossomnoseJune 23, 2013 at 10:22 AM

      Linking the term 'super moon' and 'Amanda Gray' conjures up an image that'd put anybody off their cornflakes.

    3. Another gem from Amanda Gray.

      'TODAY being May 31, logic dictates that tomorrow is the beginning of yet another month, but not just any month, it will be June and that means we are half way through 2013 already!'

      But wait, it got better with ...

      'In realising this comes that feeling that in being half way I should perhaps do a bit of reflection on the months that have passed and maybe start planning for the months ahead . . . shyeeeeah right!'

      She's an excitement machine all right. Given her wet pants, concern over her fuller figure, her diet, her ageing and her super mooning, why is the column not called Gray's Anatomy?

      PS Ms Gray is not a journo (although she writes like your typical Astonisher product). She is - ahem - Entertainment, Hospitality & Events Advertising Executive with the paper. So traditional lines are being further blurred - Ms Gray's kiss-bum job means there would be quite a few subjects she wouldn't be allowed to go near unless it was a kiss-bum job. Detect any sort of credibility problem here?

  5. Hey, 'Pie, be generous, the girl needs a helping hand. How about asking people to suggest subjects for Amanda Gray to use in her column, like what problems she faces with shop assistants and larger dress sizes ...oh, sorry, already done that. So what about how she and her partner handle their different loyalties on State of Origin night ...oops, done that already, too. Then maybe how she feels about the prospect of going to a Jimmy Barnes concert ..., what? She has? She said what? She really said 'I'll tell you how excited ... almost wet my pants excited.' ?

    I give up, I can't handle images of Amanda's wet pants and her super moon.


    1. Why pick on Amanda? What about the other so-called columnists who serve up drivel week after week? Take Steve Price, for example - the scary part about his musings is that he obviously puts some time into writing them. Then there is the "Other JT". Fair dinkum, does he really think his private life is THAT interesting. The only exception to the rule of navel gazing is Ando who at least gets out there in the community and writes about interesting people - not himself. Oh for the days of the Magpie and Butts On Monday. Buttsy wasn't always on the ball with his facts, but he wrote very interesting stuff about other people. I will resist the temptation to comment on the Bully's former Magpie column for fear of being accused of brown nosing the old bird. Now there's a scary thought!
      Publish | Delete | Spam

    2. Why pick on Amanada? Well, if you're going to lead with your chins .....
      But Basher me old brown-noser, The Pie must point out that the undoubted success of the Saturday Magpie over its eight years in The Astonisher was in great part due to Steve Price and Harro plugging the daylights out of it every Monday and Tuesday on 4TO's top-rating breakfast program. The column's profile was also helped by a thread of mock insults and jests between Steve and The 'Pie over the years (of course, that can't happen with the blog because of the cross-media agreement between TO and the paper). And just for the record, The Pie had great professional help from section editors and their clever headlines and excellent illustrators - who could ever forget Ralph Henderson's wonderful Katter as the Mad Hatter.

      And you're right about Ando, and Shazza Taggers has enough miles on the clock and a nice turn of phrase to pen the odd good read - although The Pie suspects where finance and politics are the subjects, she gets more than a helping hand from elsewhere.

      But one thing Pricey has never done, thank God, is brown-nose the old bird ... with that snozz, he'd tickle the tonsils.

    3. Is Steve Price a real journalist or an entertainer?

      Speaking of slow news day, how about the Stray hook presents a pain in the thumb? Kate, a little hung over?

  6. He Magpie! Why doesn't Tony Ireland higher Local mechanics. He and other dealers have 457 Visa mechanics working for them. Now, that is a disgrace. Mate, the car yards here are not cheap. Did you know that when Dale Last was a councillor he had a council car that was a top of the range Toyota Kluger. That is a $63,000 vehicle and they suck the juice. Why not do a story on every councillors car and the economy of that vehicle.

  7. What car is Ray Burton supplied with and was it bought locally

  8. As ever the Astonisher's Iditor is a numb nut. Totally insensitive. Bishop a good man. They should be ashamed of themselves.

  9. Good piece, thanks Pie.

  10. My humble apologies - my anti Gray Matter sure did stir up the anti Gray Matter. And Pie I should have guessed she was not a graded and paid journo! Silly me for thinking the paper had some modicum of credibility left.

  11. If Pricey's nose started running it would pull a hamstring.

  12. News from 'down yonder' ....

    Oh dear just saw Gleeson on 9 Gold Coast news , is he Gay ? Sure sounds it ..

    1. "Now now, Tee Hee, don't you go scaring the daylights out of the gay community down there with rumours like that - besides most of the gays The Pie knows are intelligent, sensible and talented, so you're way wide of the mark with Typo. More likely, what with his gold chain and droopy draws, he thinks he's looks like a Greek god, when in fact, he just looks like a goddamn Greek. (Now, don't any of you get uppity out there, The Pie got that joke from a Greek mate)

    2. Pink shirts and tacky gold chains and pants which hang so far down you can almost see all.

      I shudder. He's a useless iditor.

    3. Now that is funny ... tee hee ... but still counting down the days until he goes.

      But more fun and games ahead ... the journo who wanted Typo's vacated chair, Shannon Willoughby - around here we know her as Shallow Wannabee - is the junket queen of the Gold Coast Bully. She's been sucking up to (new editor) Cath Webber on Facebook " can't wait to go out for drinks mwah mwah " Ms Webber might need a drinks taster! Case of keep your friends close and your frenimies closer!

    4. Cath is a 'mmmmmaaaaaaate' kinda gal. Little old country gal who had trodden on nice to staff at the Astonisher to ensure she got what she wanted. Cath's transformation in Sydney remarkable. Cath used staff at the Astonisher for her syd knee promotion.

    5. Oh dear, Milkmaid Healy couldn't get the exclusive with Jt's new baby.

  13. The yawning gap between Mayor Jenny Hill and the truth is ever widening.

    The Magpie has this morning learned that she has been telling a deliberate, and almost actionable, lie about why she bought her mayoral (ratepayer funded) car in Brisbane, and why she by-passed local dealers.

    Last Thursday, running the line that she was obligated to get the best deal for ratepayers, she told the ABC's Pat Hessian that Zupps in Brisbane was offering the same vehicle - a Commodore V8 SS - for $10,000 less than Townsville's Tony Ireland Holden.

    On Saturday, The 'Pie cocked an eyebrow at that claim, which seemed like and turned out to be is simply bollocks - deals like this leave maybe a thousand dollars topsin wiggle room for dealers and fleet businesses.

    Now an industry insider close to the action, a person The Magpie trusts implicitly, has contacted The Pie to tell him what he knows happened.

    Townsville City Council vehicles purchases are handled by Custom Fleet. They approached by the mayor with details of the car she wanted as her Mulletmobile, they sourced a quote from Tony Ireland Townsville and from Zupps in Brisbane. Zupps came in lower, but only by a few hundreds dollars - not the claimed $10,000. So Custom Fleet, which has always encouraged buy local opportiunities, then contacted Tony Ireland Holden and asked if they could match the Brisbane offer. This TIH did immmediately 'and without hesitation' The Pie was told. Then the question of availability was asked, and the Townsville dealership assured Custom Fleet they could supply the car as quickly if not more quickly than a Brisbane dealer could.

    That's the last they heard of it, until The Magpie revealed last week that the mayor had her car shipped up from Zupp's in Brisbane. And the only way that could have happened would have been the mayor being given the choice of dealerships with equal quotes, and directing the sale go to Brisbane.

    There are plenty of rumours swirlimg around about why this would happen, but it is clear that Mayor Mullet has been too clever by half, so we now have a blatant liar (like we didn't already know) as Townsville's op elected official.

    It doesn't just smack of political, and maybe personal, payback, but it was done with ratepayers' money. One councillor The Magpie contacted said he believed there was a bit of personal history in there going back more than a decade, but The Pie has not been able to confirm that.

    Have any of you councillors got the gumption to ask the mayor in open council why she ordered her car from Brisbane, and why she then lied about it? You were all elected on a platform of transparency.

    How about you, Les Walker, you've always got a lot to say?

    On that last bit, 'Pink Pig leader to squadron, prepare for take-off'.

  14. How did this get by ace reporter Tony Simpleton and his exclusive reporting.Maybe the Astonisher staff are at this moment scurring to the Mullets front door,pad and pencil at the ready for this breaking story.

  15. Hey Pie, why not look at all councillor cars. It appears Hill has the only Australian built car. In the world of the free market one has to suck a lemon. I notice when I walk past the council city car park. There is some big fuel guzzling 4x4s sitting there. They are all imported.

  16. re todays story on the cycling tragedy and death of Sue Bell- Who the hell sanctioned the accompaning photo of Dr Stokes and nurse!!! Tacky and extremely poor taste. Cheap publicity for the Mater it seems. I dont know Sue but if I did I would be really angry. Disrespectfull of the highest order.

    1. If I recall, a photographer from the Astonisher works as a baby photographer for the Mater. Just curious if this is the source....

    2. Pie, the question is. Can you knit like Julia?

  17. I recall a few years ago when the Detroit car industry Czars arrived in Washington with their begging bowls seeking a government handout. When he found out that they flew down in opulent private jets (is there any other kind?), Prez Obama sent them packing and told them to come back in a Prius (which they did). Obviously, Jenny the Joke does not subscribe to such lofty ideals

    And why not a Prius, or similar? Why, precisely, is a V8 muscle car necessary for our Mayor? What road travel does she do that would require such a large and powerful vehicle? A pretentious, self indulgent and cynical rort on the ratepayers – pure and simple. In straitened times such as these, she should be setting an example, not lowering the bar. Bogan.

    Her dissembling regarding the circumstances of the acquisition of the car is disgraceful – as are the comments of the trolls on this forum who seek to divert attention from her dishonesty by trashing Tony Ireland. None of whom would be fit to tie his bootlaces when it comes to contributions to the community.

    Cannot resist a comment on Joolya’s homely knitting pics. When I first saw the photograph, I immediately thought that it was a photo-shopped joke – and a pretty poor one at that. Has this woman gone completely mad? McTernan says that it was the proper decision – a “no-brainer” to quote him. I agree with him - to present the Worst Prime Minister Ever (but the Prime Minister nevertheless) in such a demeaning, hypocritical and morally inconsistent pose is the type of moronic decision that someone with no brains would make. Or someone who has had one too many deep-fried Mars bars. Go home, you idiot.

    1. Always good and always entertaining.

  18. Hey magpie

    Is this crap really news,

    I mean a sob story on a piece of s@#t grub who has done time for perverting the course of justice and robbery. Please, this paper bangs on about inadequate sentences and victims of crime and then kicks crap in their face with this drivel.

    To top it off his sponge Missus says they can't live off the centre link payments you and I provide because its not enough.

    I can tell you this bloke is a grub.

    Much like the bloke you describe running the show in Ogden st.

    1. This is just the latest in the Astonisher's love affair with crims and law breaking - they sure know the readership they are trying to appeal to ... that hoakey Saturday yarn about that twerp tightrope walker contained several clear references to the fact that it was an illegal activity prohibited by council.

      The paper, a law unto itself, puts this under the banner of 'OK larrikinism', which they promote as 'permissable lawbreaking', a notion to which this town as a whole does not subscribe. The 'readers pics' scream set-up, for which the Bulletin was no doubt party to well before the event - they are such a bunch of obvious undergraduate nitwits. You can bet if the tightrope story encourages some dimwit to injure themselves - or with a bit of luck, get a Darwin Award and kill themselves - the paper will be up the council for not keeping the hill 'safe'. And ratepayers could well be sued in this smartarse world of legal niceities.

      But that story did give us one of the most hilarious statements of the decade, when reference was made to 'the tightknit world of Townsville tightrope walkers'.

      Be aware, that person walking next to you on the street may have a secret other life in the 'tightknit world of Townsville tightrope walkers'. No doubt an association known as Special Performance Lovers Along Tightropes. Or SPLAT for short.

    2. Oh, boo-hoo.

      Since we are at it, I know a few other Kiwi grubs that we could send packing. NZ government will not be amused have to house and feed our return-to-sender crims.

      I am sure we could do without a certain former footballer

  19. Ding - Bloody - Dong

    Are our friends at the ABC going to play that song again?

    Jenny - do you hear that soft pealing of bells in the distance? Ask not for whom they toll....

    Now I am going to have to learn how to hate Prince Prissy all over again

  20. You wouldn't want Bill Shorten in the trenches, that's for sure!

    Nice work Pie.

  21. Watching Parliment Question time Thu 27 June i noticed that our Local Federal Member was thrown out of Parliment during Question Time. Surely he must hold the record of being removed by the Speaker since his election.. I can recall at one stage he was boasting about the number of time he had been removed

  22. Paul Anderson of PimlicoJune 28, 2013 at 10:04 AM

    Eh, I’m not actually all that fussed about where the car came from (and no disrespect to Mr Ireland). This case, though, speaks to the larger (and dubious, to me) argument about how we’re frequently enjoined to spend over the odds (if it comes to it) to buy local/independent/Australian, ‘just because’…. All (or even most) things being equal, then yes, buying local would be preferable. But. There’s no getting away from the fact that this country is often one frightfully expensive place to live. Cars manufactured here (to take just one example) often cost a lot more than imports (whether to buy or maintain, or both). That shouldn’t mean the ‘buy local’ mantra should be indulged, though, out of a sense of duty (a treasured possession is a small clock with the ‘LocalBuy’ logo proudly stamped on the front. Turn the thing over, though, and there’s a gold sticker: ‘Made In China’. Priceless.); if Australia can’t be competitive about making cars (and it appears we can’t – other countries’ lavish underwriting of their respective automotive industries notwithstanding, which I also oppose), or books, or clothes, or toys, then I submit we shouldn’t be making them at all, and we DEFINITELY shouldn’t be diverting funds from other more promising sectors of the economy just to prop the anachronistic ones up for sentimental reasons. (One acquaintance of mine as recently as last week was saying that she felt that bulk-buyers of cars like rental car companies and government agencies should be FORCED to buy only Australian-made cars. I can see the short-term benefit of such a policy, sure, but I strongly feel that similar policies in the past have led us to the less-than-ideal situation we find ourselves in now.) Holden chief Mike Devereux’ recent reported claim that whatever government funding they’ve received over the years has borne economic fruit many times over ($37 billion from around $1 billion, I believe he said) may even be true, but it’s suspicious, and I believe conveniently overlooks a couple of things (even after you get past the goes-without-saying ‘he WOULD say that’): One is that if Holden wasn’t around, the people in those factories and showrooms would still be gainfully employed doing something else, and Australians would still have bought cars of another stripe, which would have needed parts and service (which, with salaries, is where I presume Mr Devereux came up with most of the $37B figure), which would have been undertaken at different garages…but would still have been undertaken, is the point (and thereby recouped much of the $37 billion). The second is anecdotal stories I’ve heard about the perceived unreliability of the average Holden itself, compared with other marques. If (I emphasise IF) a Holden needs servicing, or replacement parts, more often than some other make, is Mr Devereux suggesting that’s Better For The Economy than (and preferable for Australia to) a car that’s only ever in the shop once a year like clockwork, oil & lube, on your way? Surely not…but still… I realise that it might not be profitable in the short term for the more reliable carmaker, but when the time comes to replace what I’m driving now, I’m sure going to go with whatever’s the best value, regardless of where it was made! Australia (and, yes, Townsville) should maybe place less emphasis on buying Australian/local for its own sake (and letting patriotic/community ‘spirit’ do the rest), and work more at being genuinely competitive on the global/national stage, so that what’s made here is better/different than (and PREFERABLE TO) similar things made elsewhere, making it less of a no-brainer (than it often currently seems) to buy Australian. If I’m wrong about this (beyond the obvious ‘if-everyone-thought-like-this-we’d-be-up-the-proverbial-alimentary-canal-and-no-mistake’- that much I do get), I’m happy to be (re)-educated....

    1. Manufacturing is one thing - but our farmers/graziers/orchardists? In that case, we are talking about the difference between paying a few more cents for a bottle of Australian orange juice or a can of Mildura peaches and the destruction of hundreds of square miles of healthy, world class quality trees. Not to mention the economic ruin of fourth generation farmers and the permanent loss of food production capacity.

      I am still chortling over Gillard's promise to employ the redundant Geelong car assembly line workers in the NDIS headquarters as clerks. Yep, they'll fit right in, no problems at all...

      Gawd, I miss her already

    2. To Paul A: Strewth, mate, your comment needs chapter headings. And while The 'Pie let you have space for your two and a half bottles of comment, you missed the basic points about the MulletMobile purchase, letting yourself tear off into the hypothetical stratosphere.

      1. Mayor Mullet lied publicly about the reasons for her Brisbane buy - there was no $10,000 price difference, both vehicles were offered at identical lease prices. She went the porky because she obviously knew it was ethically wrong and a bad look, but her spite and injured ego, nursed all these years, got the better of her. As it so often does with this entrenched Labor individual.

      2. She gave herself away by having all proof of the car's origins - decals, dealer ID plates etc - removed. Why bother if it was an upstanding deal that was 'the best for ratepayers'. Jenny wouldn't miss a single chance to strut her line of being the battlers friend, but she knew her personally-motivated action was unethical. And she hoped no one would notice, or if they did, say nothing.

      3. The lease is paid for by the people who pay her salary - ie we the mug punters known as ratepayers. Those mugs include businesses that pay whopping local government taxes (ie rates) and have a reasonable expectation not to be cut of at the knees by this appalling example of personal spite winning out over civic responsibility from our highest elected city official. These are the businesses so often asked to partner the mayor and council in various initiatives - which many do. Next time, maybe she'll ask Brisbane businesses to pony up for local council programmes.

      4. Here's your re-education on your overall discourse. Great theory, but it's bollocks.

      Invoice for re-education in the mail.