Saturday, September 21, 2013

An exclusive peek at the Australian Cabinet's special new office building... and The Magpie introduces his new periodic award, The Cyclone Yasi Memorial Goblet for services to tourism in Townsville.

The ‘Pie names the first recipient of this prestigious gong.

On the national scene, its all been about cabinet quotas and punted pundits … The ‘Pie sticks his beak in.

And it’s been another week of the language being mugged and  ambushed repeatedly just about everywhere. Euphemism has reigned as king. But there’s also some fun to be had with some of the tasty morsels the old bird has been dining on.

There’s even a limerick challenge, if you’re up to it, here in the nest at has called it a 'cock forest' because of its lack of women. And just to rub it in, here’s an exclusive ‘reveal’ about our new government’s Cabinet offices  … it is to get a new building of its own. You won’t be able to miss it.
Viagra House?
Prime Minister Rabbit has wasted no time in clearing the decks and making his agenda clear. The lack of a Science Minister has been cause for comment, but there'll be no lack of free learned advice on that front ... Alan Jones and Ray Hadley will help out. But an allied move has been applauded in numerous places, not the least of which is the Bentley household.
The Magpie chats up an escaped budgie.

Pickering got in his lick as well.

The lack of women in Wingnut’s cabinet has been causing some angst among the chattering classes , but at least the odious Sophie Misery Guts Mirabella won’t be there.

Anyway, The ‘Pie believes when it comes to leading and guiding our country, you determine cabinet members by what’s between their ears, not what’s between their legs. Unfortunately, schoolboy snot Christopher Pyne and the disaster-prone Kevin  Andrews (Mike Carlton calls him The Brylcreemed Dolt) are the glaring exceptions to The ‘Pie’s theory.

On the other side of the divide, people with diabetes should avoid watching any appearances by Bill Shorten and Anthony Albanese together … the sugar overload could be fatal. Their rolling love-in repeatedly invites an involuntary finger down the throat. The ‘Pie’s prediction: ‘Albo’ in a canter, and it'll serve that treacherous serial clitorist Shorten right. Hopefully it also means the new Labor leader will learn to correctly pronounce the name of the country he hopes one day to lead. Here’s a hint, Albo … it IS NOT Orstraya. 

But that is but a mere peccadillo next to caning English has copped elsewhere during the week.

From America, the senseless brutality of the mass killing in Washington was consigned to a technical detail when the head walloper – a hatchet-faced FBI Dickless Tracy -  announced her boys had had ‘ multiple engagements with the suspect who was ultimately deceased.’ (Read: shot the mad bastard until he was dead.’)
Cowboys boss Peter Jourdain.

And closer to home, Cowboys boss Peter Jourdain was asked if the NRL chiefs had apologized for the refereeing cock-up that cost his team a place in the Rugby League finals. Apparently you don’t either apologise or take responsibility nowadays – Pete said the NRL had ‘taken ownership’ of the situation. And they were ‘remorseful’: read ‘shitting bricks’ about possible repercussions.

The moaning has been long and loud, with the Daily Astonisher leading and feeding the parochial victim mentality and boostering ludicrous ‘conspiracy’ theories.

The paper had one of its biggest sales days for years last Monday, as justified community anger and disappointment bubbled over in various loony forms. And if the Astonisher knows anything, it certainly knows how to flog a yarn within an inch of its life, whether it be the Stuart school closure, turning criminals into heroes, innumerate footy referees or super stadiums.

And their efforts should not go unrecognized, so the Townsville Daily Astonisher is the very first recipient of the Cyclone Yasi Memorial Goblet for services to Townsville tourism for this double page pic last Tuesday.

This inviting image - replete with eyebrow and ear piercings, servo-bandit beanie, blue singlet and the inevitable tats - belongs to Mr Wayne ‘Mad Dog’ Evans. 

Now no doubt Mr Evans is a lovely chap underneath it all, who as G & S would have it ‘loves to hear the little brook agurgling’ while seated in the shade of a sycamore tree reading the works of the Persian polymath, philosopher mathematician, astronomer and poet Omar Khayyam. A jug of wine perchance at his elbow – possibly Fruity Lexia.

But his appearance so prominently in the paper on the ‘once in a century’ event of The Astonisher being read right up and down the east coast, prompted a tsunami of honking, chortling and ribaldry down the MagpeFone from snooty southern climes. More than one caller made reference to what happens when cousins marry, another wanted to know how well Mr Evans played the banjo, and yet another politely inquired if he was our mayor. That caller was disappointed when he learnt that he was not, but was soothed with The Magpie’s suggestion that his disappointment would be even greater if he knew who actually was our mayor.

One can imagine the frenzied calls to travel agents seeking to book a flight north to mingle with this typical denizen of the Deep North. So well done, Townsville Bulletin, you get the Cyclone Yasi Memorial Goblet for positive profiling services to Townsville tourism.

Mind you, this Astonisher poster from a year or two ago, sent in by a collector of such things, seemed to hint at the ultimate adventure holiday.

Sounds tricky, and we're not sure who was lucky to survive, the fish or the female.

One joker thinks it all ended happily for everyone.

But the NRL kerfuffle threw up some other interesting sideshows. The battiest stretch by a floundering man seeking some sort of relevance in all this came from the head honcho of the Dudley Do-Nothings, Townsville Enterprise’s David The Kipper’ Kippin.

As ABC Radio’s Paula The Mauler Tapiloas trawled around on Monday morning seeking comment on the Cowboy’s issue, she, for reasons known only to herself, asked an irrelevant Kipper for his thoughts.

The Kipper
After a pause and then a bit of hesitant waffle, The Kipper suddenly came up with the original idea that this was somehow the ideal opportunity to push for the new super stadium, and make sure the NRL pitched in behind the project.  

Suggesting a punishment for their diabolical handling of what (inevitably) has been called Tacklegate, The Kipper honked on about how the NRL should now use its influence to lobby Prime Minister Wingnut and Queensland Premier The Brisbane Bantam to help secure funding for the super stadium.

Quoth he: ‘All we need is NRL CEO Dave Smith to do is pick up the phone and start making calls to the right politicians. It’s an advocacy and lobbying role the NRL could do so well….’. 

See, it’s just as simple as picking up the old dog’n’bone, then Robert is your mother’s brother, there ya go, done and dusted.

So let’s see now, an organization – the NRL – which has proved so incompetent it couldn’t track a leaky shit cart through a flour factory, will command the respect of our leaders (especially Queenslander Campbell Newman) and just like that, talk them into opening the public wallet and say ‘help yourself’.  Just how you link a massive cock-up with skills of influence and ‘advocacy’ is a tad weird, to say the least, especially coming from you, David.

Kipper, old mate, watching your meandering search for public relevance to justify your outrageous ratepayer-funded salary reminds The Pie of the eunuch in the harem …  he knows what happens, he sees it happen around him all day and night, but he just can’t do it himself. But no doubt Dave Smith appreciates the advice.

Words can be torturous, but they can also be tortuous, and those twists and turns are a joy to those who enjoy the vagaries of language.

Both you regular readers will know that The Magpie’s nest is cluttered with many and diverse little shiny objects that have caught the avian eye. So here’s a random gallery of such baubles

The hairdressing industry in notorious for its punning names … a check showed at least a score of Curl Up and Dyes around the world and some titles are a touch tedious and try too hard.  But a couple of news ones (at least new to The ‘Pie) surfaced this week. Over in Dallas, there is The Best Little Hairhouse In Texas. But The ‘Pie admits to a loud bellylaugh when he found the hairdressing business in rural England called Crops and Bobbers.

Other matters.

Wonder if anyone has fallen for this?

And the whimsy of this is cute.

Book titles, as have often been mentioned before, can be a delight, but you can bet there was many a disappointed punter down on Sydney's Oxford Street who misunderstood the content of this one.

Here is a bus shelter ad from Melbourne, extolling the virtues of a uni degree.

The double degree presumably means you will have learnt the difference between ‘then’ and ‘than’. But then again, it might be aimed at New Zealanders.

The Washington Post runs a strong literary section in the paper and  it regularly features word game challenges to readers. Recently, they called for the best limerick which included both the words Lewinsky ....

Monica Lewinsky

 .... as in Monica, the famous player of the Clinton clarinet, and Kaczynski, 

Ted Kayzcynski.

... as in Ted, the infamous Unibomber.

The following are the winners.

Third place:

There once was a girl named Lewinsky,
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky.
'Twas ‘Hail to the Chief’,
On this flute made of beef,
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Second place:

Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
"We don’t want to leave clues like Kaczynski.
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress,
And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky."

And the winning entry:

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known,
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter,
When deciding how best to be blown.

It is with great trepidation that The ‘Pie suggests a similar, localized literary effort. Anyone game to have a bit of fun with Mayor Mullet, Uncle Fester, His Radiance, Capt Snooze, The Parsnip, Typo, Attila The Hen, Mad Katter or any of the other luminaries which people this blog? Plenty of rhymes in there, for instance, guess what rhymes with Messagebank.

Be interesting to see how many make it through to the light of day. Might be a prize in it.

Speaking of prizes, it is now away to Poseurs’ Bar, to discuss with a suitable companion the various interpretations of  ‘multiple engagements’  and that there shouldn’t be room for being ‘remorseful’ after taking ownership of the mattress … errr, sorry … matter.


  1. There was a candiate named Moyle His mate Jacob was a complete little Boil . Don't shake it said Paul. Just fake it said Moyle. I'm glad it's not wrapped in foil...

  2. Lots of tit bits and it's very entertaining as usual.

    I say, how many votes to the Dinosaur win by?

    Sagely yours,
    Miss lou.

  3. Doug Kingston, South TownsvilleSeptember 22, 2013 at 10:30 AM

    Hi Magpie old mate. I enjoy your weekly blog, but as one of the many NQ footy fans who think being ripped off once (last year) is a mistake, but twice is a bit rich, I must take you to task on your assertion that conspiracy theories regarding the 7-tackle blunder by NRL officials are "ludicrous".
    On ABC Radio the Monday following the Cowboys debacle, NRL referees boss Daniel Andersen clearly stated that all six NRL officials working on the Cowboys v Cronulla game were counting the number of tackles in each set.
    I agree that one person getting something wrong is human error, but when six officials all make the same mistake with the same set of "six" tackles (which results in a try being scored), surely collusion is involved.
    Or is that just a mere coincidence of six human errors?

    1. G'day Doug, hi from The Pie.

      if there is some sort of conspiracy going, the mastermind must be Balrick with one his cunning plans.

      Let's drop the understandable emotion and anger we all feel about the situation, and look at what is being suggested by claiming a conspiracy.

      First of all, Daniel Andersen's comment: if you were a referee and your boss asked if you were counting tackles, there is only one answer if you want a shot at the big one in a couple weeks. No one is going to say they weren't.

      And your charge of collusion leaves all sorts of questions hanging in the air. Let's ask a few of them.
      1. Let's say all six refs colluded. How and why did they decide that they'd make a combined effort to dud the despised Queenslanders? And if it was only them, why?

      2. Did mincer Matt Chechin gather the boys together for coffee and a chat at his favourite Oxford Street latte house, to outline his cunning plan? And ALL SIX agreed? No, it would have had to come from above? So who said what to whom, so that all six refs were happy to be seen as collective cheats on national television?

      3. Does your theory go right to the top? If it doesn't then why would the refs alone decide on this course of action? What's in it for them, especially since they simply couldn't get away with it, given the modern coverage? You are seriously suggesting that not one of the referees would not have become the other sort of whistleblower and exposed the whole thing? And if others were involved, the chances of someone saying something are quadrupled.

      4. If they were all in on it, which genius came up with the idea that the scam would take place 8 minutes into the game? Were they just lucky that no one from the Cowboys protested immediately, when the call could have been reversed?

      Look Doug, there's no doubt there's plenty of gamesmanship from Sydney when Queenslanders are down there (the dressing room allocation and public walk is I believe an actionable disgrace) but to suggest in essence that not a single one of the referees is an honest person who would have refused to take part in the supposed scam is an unsustainable smear in a 'ludicrous' conspiracy theory.

      Shit happens - even two years in a row. By all means be angry, demand recompence, changes, whatever, but inventing gossamer-thin conspiracy theories which simply cannot be sustained makes us all look as believable as Clive Palmer.

  4. Struggling homeowners go without cover .. rivetting story by the milk maid.

    ''One Melbourne-based property valuer has had his Magnetic Island unit on the market for several years. He bought it for $700,000 and, at one point, was selling it for $450,000. He had no offers. If he does sell it, he plans to buy a house. He won't be bothering with insurance.''

    He can't be bothered.... yeah, struggling .. struggle street, Miss milkmaid.

    if I had a property for that price?

  5. This could be a front page. No, they had to get this off the wire....

    1. Finally, not an aap news wired..

      The cow that killed the man was a footy player. RIP

      Sparks to the rescue to write something.. better late than never, I suppose.

  6. Not much to say, like what I've read. ta.

  7. Doug Kingston, South TownsvilleSeptember 22, 2013 at 3:12 PM

    Hi 'Pie.
    Thanks for your view on things - we are all entitled to an opinion.
    But I'll stick by mine, and even go so far as to contend that it call came from the top, so that six officials all made the same mistake on the same tackle count isn't so hard for me to understand.
    But then, I wouldn't trust the NRL to run a chook raffle. They would no doubt make sure the winning ticket was held by someone south of the border.

  8. Now Doug has me wondering, was it the NRL on the grassy knoll all them years ago?

    1. They couldn't have...they were setting up the set for the fake moon landing

  9. Speaking of kangaroo courts and stuff. Visited Palmer Coolum last week, saw real kangaroos resting next to Clive;s dinosaurs.. classic Pie.

  10. Lack of females ? Who stabbed Julia? They did or Kevy Shorten did.

  11. More Facebook journalism in today's paper - Youths crash party's spirits -

    The story and photo are sourced from Facebook. The pic turned up in my news feed yesterday. Good for them as a source of stories but it's still lazy journalism. And WIN and Seven News also use Facebook as a source.

  12. They grow 'em rat cunning over in Michigan.

    A home owner temporarily saved his house from a demolition order by swapping street numbers with his neighbour - and demolition crews did the rest. Worth a laugh here ....

  13. An Ode to The Mayoral Mullet Mobile(not quite a limerick)

    Buy local she cried
    But we know that she lied
    Bought a big red car down south
    She sure is a pollie
    So it'd be sheer folly
    To believe anything out of her mouth.

  14. In Townsville's fair cityT
    There exists a committee
    Enterprise by name
    On the gravy train
    Sucking money from the ratepayers kitty.

    And further south ...

    From the Gold Coast hails a great miner
    Who enjoys excess at the diner
    But despite his great girth
    He provides us with mirth
    An will even resurrect an Atlantic liner.

  15. A Crikey reader via The PieSeptember 23, 2013 at 10:56 AM

    It's not just The 'Pie in a playful poetic mood.

    The excellent also has the bug, with one clever reader coming up with a musical commentary on the new government and cabinet. It is set to the Irving Berlin classic, Blue Skies, one of Willie Nelson's signature tunes. think of his familiar gravelly delivery as you hum it to yourself ... or out loud if you're in the public library reading room.

    "Blue ties smilin' at me
    Nothing but blue ties do I see
    Blueboys singing a song
    Nothin but Blueboys all day long

    Never saw the sun shinin so bright
    Never saw things goin so right
    Noticing the days hurrying by
    When your in power, my how they fly

    Hue dames, all of them gone
    Nothing but blue ties from now on
    Blue ties smiling at me
    Nothing but blue ties do I see

    Never saw the sun shinin' so bright
    Never saw things goin' so right
    Noticing the days hurrying by
    When your in power, my how they fly

    Hue dames, all of them gone
    Nothin' but blue ties from now on
    Nothin' but blue ties from now on."

  16. Had to occupy myself during the long flight to Cairns last night… so these are more on a national theme…

    There was a lad called Shorten
    The GG’s lass he was acourtin’
    He said to Joolya
    Don’t worry, I’ll still do ya
    But in a way without any porkin’

    And this…
    There was a party called Labor
    No worries said Kevvie, "I’ll save ya!"
    But remembering his past,
    We kicked his arse
    How lucky is this country called Ostralya?

    And this little ditty, varies from a laugh-out-loud email I received a couple of months ago.

    There was a first bloke called Tim
    I love to throw tomatoes at him
    Now, tomatoes are soft and won’t hurt the skin
    But this f**kers will, ‘cause they’re still in the tin on

    1. oops...cut and pasting from Word created a boo-boo

      last line should read:

      "But these f**kers will, 'cause they're still in the tin"

      still makes me giggle

  17. Considering Astonisher staff had to work in that building after cyclone yasi.....

    I'd say the mgt need the biggest drongo award for Asbestos related disease..

  18. There was a media hound named Paul ; He hid in corners and around the hall; He whined and groaned and felt alone ; And smelt badly of artificial cologne;

  19. Yes,yes its becoming clearer now ,worry not Grumpy. I will be working late tonight to get to the bottom of this

  20. There once was a ghost named Walker
    Who wasn't much of a telephone talker
    'Leave your number and name'
    Was his only refrain
    Must think every call is a hawker

  21. Mary had a little dog, she called it Malcolm,
    She caught it flogging it's log in the back of the Falcon,
    It was so bad,
    It made her mad,
    She said get out your not fc&king welcome.
    Poor little Malcolm, still has his Falcon.
    He knows it's no good pulling your pud,
    But still does it daily because it's so good,
    Poor little Malcolm, should stay away from that Falcon

    1. My dear chap, you seem a little bewildered. Malcolm Turnbull had nothing to do with Ford announcing it was leaving Australia. Even if he did, not sure what point you are making.

    2. I was going to do another limerick in response to the Anon with the thing about Falcons, but "troll" and "dickhead" don't rhyme

  22. Well, Grumpy, the comment was published only as a community service, warning of what happens when cousins marry.

    1. Malcolm, it's not unacceptable, nor indeed uncommon, for cousins to marry in some religions.
      Siblings though - that's another story altogether.

    2. No wonder you've got a rusty nail!

  23. Dear Prime Minister Rabbit,
     Before you deride the new Labour leadership process too much, consider this.

    If your party had that process when you stood for the leadership,Malcolm T would have thumped you. He most probably would have beaten Julia at the election but even if the result was the same, Malcolm would have been PM because the independents would have accepted him.

    1. Sorry, just to finish that thought.

      So we would had a Liberal government three years ago - no mess of the last three years and no Tony as PM for a long time if ever. Why can't all parties allow the members to vote for who they want as leader?

    2. What, democracy???!!!! You been out in the sun a bit long, mate?

      And along those lines, The Pie again calls - no, sorry, not calls, The Pie isn't the editor of a truly impooorrrtant newspaper - rather would like to see a change in the rules, so that if the party in government wishes to change leaders - ie the prime minister - they can only do so by dissolving parliament and having an election to let the great unwashed decide who they want as leader. Such a rule would cut the crap out of backroom shenanigans, and make the buggers concentrate on running the country.

    3. John, you don't really think that the whole process was nothing other than just another thought bubble from Krudd? The sole purpose being to ensure that, in the event that he was re-elected as PM (something his own ego had convinced him was inevitable), he could not be removed by the heretics who did not believe in his divine right to rule. The fool believed his own Twitter feed...and only a fool would believe that he did it for any other reason.

      When did Tony A deride the process? I have not seen/heard of him do it. He no doubt appreciates the opportunity to quietly do his own thing whilst the ALP - as usual - is focused on talking about itself. It's not as if he would be worried about which of the gormless idiots wins - it is going to be like being mugged by a hamster for the next three years. Even if he has hooted in derision, I agree with him. How would it look if Shorten got 49% of the member votes and 52% of the caucus votes? 49% of the party don't want him as leader? And, worse still, everyone knows it? Have you ever been to an ALP branch meeting? Seen the weirdos and extremists there? You want them voting for the Leader of Her Majesty's Opposition?

      It is pure conjecture to say that Turnbull would have beaten Gillard - whilst I agree that that may well have been a likely outcome, who really knows? Personally, I think that his silvertail reputation would have caused him some problems with the middle-class voters.

      But then, we would have been spared that piece of $hit Smith. with his "no single issue" that would fundamentally prevent Collins subs from achieving their projected life span. Said when he well knew that there were 68 critical problems, some of which had a possible consequence of sending 45 sailors to their death.

      I cannot believe that the ABC is not all over this blatant and evil lie. They are pissing themselves with indignation over not sending daily shipping receipts to the people smugglers (the ABC itself never reporting boat arrivals when Labor was in power, so as not to create bad press for their comrades). C'mon Tony - time to an NBN on the ABC


  24. Do we have a Henrietta Kissinger walking amongst us?

    Seems TEL's David The Kipper Kippin thinks so.

    Not satisfied with gaining widespread applause for his mirthful clowning about linking the NRL refereeing disgrace to the self-interested push for a new super stadium - a great thigh slapper, that - he now is definitely having a shot at being Kipper the Comedian.

    In today's Astonisher, our own cut-price Seinfeld commented on his disappointment that Labor councillor Colleen 'Boo Hoo' Doyle was voted down as an official member of a junket to China - a fiscally aware Townsville First majority correctly knocked that disgraceful Mullet-inspired idea on the head. This man who wanted to be mayor until he got a better back-door offer from his TEL chums, called it a 'narrow minded decision'. Saving the ratepayers $5500 is hardly narrow minded, especially for a negligible return.

    The reason for the Kipper's disappointment? (Are you ready for this?)

    'If we are serious about this (trade delegation) we have to make sure our delegations have the diplomatic clout,' he told the paper.

    (Gasp, wheeze, chortle) Boo Hoo Doyle and diplomatic clout? Now there is a form of words one wouldn't often - that is, never - hear in the same sentence - except from the puckish comedian boss of the Dudley Do Nothings. Just as rib tickling - by extrapolation - that our man thinks he and Mayor Mullet don't have 'diplomatic clout' - oh, stoppit, ya killin' me - with Boo Hoo. He's right.

    Of course, The Kipper is going on the China junket, too, and we will all be agog waiting for his report on the trip to tell us what he's achieved at the cost to and on behalf of the ratepayers.

    Oh, wait a sec ... that's right, we aren't allowed to be told, that sort of fiction isn reserved for a closed-door workshop for councillors only.

    1. When is the Townsville Enterprise AGM . I rang to enquire they asked for my Mmebership number i advised i was not a member The receptionist advised contact me would take my details and advise me accordingly.. HO- HUM...

    2. John N, given the obscene amount of money the ratepayers give this crowd, you actually can argue that you, as a ratepayer, ARE a de facto member of TEL.

      The way Kippin and his predecessors (especially John Bearne) argue their scam is that TEL is a private, membership-based organisation, so the best you will see, if you see anything, will be a santatised, heavily spun summary of what they say they are doing. The 'Pie has seen one such summary, and it is a case study in double speak and meaningless hogwash. Even seeing such a summary is not guaranteed, because this rort is carried on behind closed doors at a special council presentation, designed as a begging bowl address by The Kipper. Many serious business people around town tell The Magpie they are sick and tired of TEL jumping on coattails and taking to take credit for things they basically had little or nothing to do with.

      Now, Kippin is swanning off to China courtesy of the ratepayers, with Mayor Mullet, who just so happens to be deputy chair of TEL.

      Legally, no problem that she is deputy chair (concerned councillors had to ask, they were so worried about it) but morally and ethically, it's on the nose big time, not a healthy look for the mayor to be the deputy chair of a crowd that can only exist on a ratepayer handout ... and therefore be privy to and participate in TEL deliberations about what they will seek and presumably get from the council. You may recall that Jenny Hill sought a special $25,000 extra for TEL to pursue its feeble and amateurish gum-flapping for a super stadium.

      The Gownsville First councillors, the favourite target of this town's drongos and knuckle draggers, correctly knocked that on the head and docked TEL $70 grand as well.

      Make no mistake, the way TEL is run is nothing but a rort on the ratepayer. (Tyrell was in on it too, and faced the same argument about conflict of interest, which he loftily shrugged off).

      But Kipper, if it isn't, and The Magpie is - heaven forbid - wrong, a bit of professional transparency and PR would do wonders.

  25. they're all at it ... even the Big Boys.

    From today's online The Australian breaking news. This is what happens when sloppy (read lazy) journo's rely on spelling checkers rather than proof readers

    'Defence releases report on insider attack

    THE Australian Defence Force has finalised an inquiry into an attack that resulted in the deaths of three sliders in Afghanistan last year.'

  26. Pie the other thing you have failed to mention is the waste of ratepayers money on excessive baggage. There is no way the Mullet will get to travel on a single ticket, going on the size of her dairy aire.

  27. I am completely riled by the medias use of the words Aboriginal,indigenous and non-indigenous. They all swap Aboriginal and indigenous about in their reporting - often in the same sentence.

    Aboriginal is an adjective,not a noun - Aborigine is the noun. Indigenous is native to an area or country. I was born in Toowoomba and am therefore indigenous. Yet the media would have it that I am non-indigenous.

    I am a native-born Australian and proud of it and would never consider living anywhere else. I am not easily offended but the wrongful use of these words comes close because I feel that my citizenship is demeaned and I am basically meant to feel like a foreigner in my own country.

    Non-indigenous people are migrants and refugees. Their children become indigenous because they are born here. Will someone in the media please start to get these terms right. I would be surprised if I am the only person annoyed by this.