Clive Palmer gets a judicial smack-down from a judge who didn’t mince her words in finding against him.

Also, nominations for the annual Townsville City Council Community Awards are now open – The ‘Pie makes his picks, and invites you to post yours.

… and word warriors unite! A campaign has started  to save some old and fading words that deserve to come back into vogue – this includes a ripper for Palmer, and several more for a few other notables.

All that and any other bric-a-brac still lying around in this, the final open nest for 2013, here at www.townsvillemagpie.com.au

Looking ahead to the coming year, The ‘Pie believes one of the more entertaining and terrifying prospects is Clive Palmer in Parliament (if he bothers to turn up).

The barrage balloon with eyes is set to join a long list of (mostly Queensland) sideshow grotesques which have inhabited the political landscape from time to time – like Katter, Tanti, Gair and (shudder) the singing (?) Craig Emerson to name but a few fruit loops. 

PLEASE ...stop the voices!!!

The old saying has it that those who we look up to as achievers ‘walk the walk and talk the talk’.

Unfortunately, in Clive Palmer’s case, it is becoming increasingly clear that he waddles the waddle and talks the twaddle.

It would be no surprise to anyone if one day he turns up to a media call wearing a tin-foil helmet with wire coat hanger aerials  ‘to stop the CIA voices in my head’. However, a barrage balloon buffoon he may be, but his over-weaning arrogance, contempt for established modes of public behavior, flouting the accepted wisdom of democratic principles and sheer insulting indifference to authority came to a screeching halt in the Supreme Court in Brisbane a week or so ago.

Palmer, trying to use his wealth as a thug uses a threatening cosh, had taken on the Gold Coast Bulletin for some alleged slight that he decided was a gross libel of his wonderful self. The paper had suggested that he had been ‘dishonorable’ in his dealings while acting for his-then soccer club Gold Coast United. He also complained that his front page photograph appeared above the unrelated headline ‘Jail For Love Rat’. (It is hard to see how anyone could mistake that the bulging buffoon in the photograph could possibly be a blokey boastful ‘love rat’.)

Taking on Rupert Murdoch in itself raises some questions about mental acumen.

In all his humility, Clive wanted about $10 million for the unwanted publicity from the paper, and another ten biggies from a bloke quoted in the article. The judge ultimately suggested that those amounts were never likely to be awarded under current legislation. So it was clear Palmer was trying it on, just to put the frighteners on the paper (ha!). He rejected a settlement offer before matters went to court, because the deal included everyone paying their own costs.

So began the complex series of court hearings necessary before such a civil defamation trial can start. But long story short, Palmer showed an arrogant contempt for the process, and in the end, failed to even turn up or notify the court of his (counsel’s) no show.

Then, what started in January 2012 ended (in a sense) in November this year when Palmer decided he wouldn’t proceed further. And then he had the chutzpah to seek to pay only part of the costs.

Talk about leading with his chin(s).

Justice Roslyn Atkinson

Justice Roslyn Atkinson was having no more of Palmer's time wasting arrogance (The ‘Pie summation, not hers), and in awarding ‘indemnity costs’ i.e the lot, she spelt out the reasons:

‘There were special or unusual circumstances

in this case which suggested that an award of indemnity costs against the plaintiff was the appropriate order. The first was the unexplained lengthy

delays in the litigation attributable to the plaintiff's inaction, the second was his

noncompliance with orders made by the court, the third was

that the plaintiff sought to abandon his claims altogether without explanation, the fourth was the plaintiff's attempt to have the hearing delisted without having consulted the defendants. This was particularly egregious given that

the defendants' application for costs was first made on 31 May 2013 and was

adjourned to allow the plaintiff to be heard.The blameworthy conduct of this

litigation makes an order for indemnity costs against the plaintiff the appropriate order.’

That word ‘egregious’ is the telling one, being the lofty legal term for outstandingly bad – shocking. Read Justice Atkinson’s full summary here.

Also noted in the legal rounds: Jarrrod Crackers McCracken has finally bowed to what many saw as the inevitable, and has just started the processs to declare himself bankrupt.

 During the week, The ‘Pie came across another little-used word that put one in mind of Palmer.  

Author Safia Shah

The ‘Pie read about the campaign by children’s author Safia Shah to save old-fashioned words being lost forever from the language. The one that brought Clive Palmer to mind - as well as Messagebank Walker, Simpo Templeton, Ewen 'Dumbo Jumbo' Jones and David ‘Lucky Starr’ Moyle - is the magnificent ‘blatteroon’ – a once popular term for a senseless boaster.

It is a truly wonderful word, because it possesses that quality which makes one wonder from which end the noise is emanating, always difficult with all the aforementioned. 

Mrs Shah has published a book called Around The World In 80 Years, in which she lists scores of words worthy of preservation. The ‘Pie’s favourites are the charming ... 

wink-a-peeps … eyes

snirtle ...  to laugh in snorts

·      begrumpled ... sad

·     fratchy ... irritable

·     ramfeezleed ... exhausted

·     kedge-belly ... a bulging stomach (are you still reading, Clive?)

·      jargogled ... to confuse or jumble (still with us, Lucky?)

·      slubberdegullion - a scoundrel (still here ... oh, the list's too long) 

Words all worthy of keeping around.

Bentley seems to be taking more of a begrumpled view of the coming year, concerned with the selling off of the farm by the Commonwealth and state governments. He wisely questions the financial acumen behind the policy, and wonders if  'the farm' will become literal.

Other doodleers are more concerned with proposals extending the age of the workforce.

Our Media Muddles corner this week has this from the Townsville Daily Astonisher classifieds …

That would be a square rigger?

… and this jargogled effort from WA …

Give him a job as a sub then.

And it was announced during the week nominations are now open for the Townsville Council's Annual Australia Day Awards. The ‘Pie will graciously decline all suggestions that he get the top gong, gotta give others a chance heh heh heh.

In all, there are eight categories, with The Magpie’s pick where applicable:

Citizen of the Year Award … modesty prevents The ‘Pie…

Young Citizen of the Year Award ... Lachlan 'Harry Potter' Heywood, the Daily Astonisher's Year 8 iditorial writer …

Community Event of the Year … the gala ratepayer-funded departure of Mayor Mullet and David Kippen for China on the same plane, leaving us in peace for a while. They will be unable to be double winners, since there is not section for Worst Community Event of the Year, which would go to them on the day they returned …

Junior Sports Award … Kid Crisafulli for his ducking, weaving and evasive run towards the Queensland premiership …

Sports Administrator Award … be interesting to see the noms ...

Cultural Award – Gracelyn Smallwood, for her divisive self-promotion of the self-defeating Invasion Day, inviting indigenous folk to further reject reality and prosperity …

Senior Sports Award … Deidre McFondel, who at 59, again showed on several occasions at Poseurs’ Bar this year what a good sport she still is …

and finally ... 

The Spirit of Townsville Award … this award, also known as the Townsville Whines Award, will be the most closely run, with leading contenders David Moyle and his hysterical (read that any way you like) Ratepayers Association, anything written by Anthony Simpleton, The Astonisher itself for Iditor Harry Potter's fine whingeing spirit and finger wagging on council matters and asbestos villains, and a group nom for the Text-The-Editor wrist slitters.  

Happy New Year, thanks for all the fun in ’13, and with your help, more and better snirtles about our slubberdeguillions to come in ’14.