Saturday, February 15, 2014

DID YOU MISS IT?!? Yesterday’s introduction to the Townsville Bulletin’s new tactic … the Seinfeld front page?

Yes, loath though he is to admit it, The Townsville Bulletin gets under The Magpie’s guard with a cunning Baldrick-like plan to outfox the old bird. The Pie is devastated.  But a closer look, and it ain’t so much unintentionally funny as it is intentionally callous.

Also this week, Brisbane sucks another business out of the ‘Ville …

An interesting list comparing council rates around Queensland – it was supplied to the Daily Astonisher which chose not to run it – wonder why?

And more naughty fun with unfortunate font styles from overseas , all here in the nest at

Latest casualty in the Townsville business arena is the axing of the contract of respected local firm G & T Security, which has lost the job of looking after the Cowboys home matches to a Brisbane crowd.

No details on how this is going to work, because unless they sub-contract the work back to the ‘Ville, any expensive FIFO arrangement for a group of blokes with no necks (among other things) would not only be dopey but could impact on ticket prices. That’s this week’s tip for the blokes at the Bully to follow up – no, no that’s OK, no thanks needed, Raggers, Smalesy heh heh heh.

When it does make it into the paper, we can expect yet another of the regular finger-waggings from the Iditor that jobs should stay in the North, it’s our future blah blah … ethical way to go – rackety rack … and so on. Which is a hoot in itself – getting a lecture on the ethics keeping jobs in the north from the Townsville Bulletin is akin to getting bushwalking tips from Ivan Milat. (Apologies to Mike Carlton for pinching his great line of last week).

But it’s been a weird and wonderful week down at the Astonisher, what with their introduction of a ‘daily blog’ ... 

... which is side-splittingly hilarious in its wrong-headedness and amateurish content. It is so bad, it makes the paper itself  look fresh, interesting and well written - but only by comparison. Yes, it IS that bad.

But the Bully blog created a rash of spoof imitators on the web. One of the best to float into the nest was this effort.

9:10 arrive work - check that bastard Weatherup's blog. Phew! Nothing about me today.

10:10 just wasted an hour stroking Templeton's hair and convincing the little turd that he really, really is a very good journalist and that he should pay no mind to that bastard Weatherup. 

11:30 Check that bastard Weatherup's blog - still no mention of me, but a really good lead on a story. Shall get onto that tomorrow.

12:00 staff meeting - warned (again) about that bastard Weatherup. 

1:00 Lunch. Spotted Tempo and some old tart holding hands down the end of Palmer Street. She looked kinda familiar.

2:10 Asked Tempo about the oldie. He goes all coy on me and won't discuss it - says that he is too busy with some hot news about the council.
2:15 Check that bastard Weatherup's blog. Shit. Some prick Anon poster just had a go at me. 

2:30 counselling session.

3:10 Checked that bastard Weatherup's blog.

4:00 investigating lead about something to do with Ingham Road getting flooded in heavy rains. 

4:30 Crikey! Just remembered that I have a column to write tomorrow. Check that bastard Weatherup's blog for ideas - nothing. 

5:10 Facebook came to the rescue again. 15 paragraphs on how hard it is for me to get a girlfriend.

5:15 Check that bastard Weatherup's blog.

6:00 Finally! Someone left first. I can go now. 

6:10 Checked that bastard Weatherup's blog.

But if you thought the Bully blog was the week’s only entertainment, you’d be wrong.

The ‘Pie has a theory that the paper’s numbers are so dire that extreme measures are called for,  and no less than Rupert's mate  Jerry Seinfeld has been called in to advise on getting interest back in the publication.
Jerry Seinfeld tells Iditor Lachlan Heywood
'Hey, 'about nothing' worked for me ... try it.'

His verdict: do front pages ‘about nothing’. ‘Worked for me on TV, our famous show ‘about nothing’, made me a gazillionaire, why not you’? 

So on Friday, we copped this front page.

Classic stuff … a strap proclaiming ‘REVEALED’ (meaning 'this is VERY old'), a staged pic of an empty chair, and – presumably the one reason it was front page – a half-smart undergraduate headline ‘Sit Fight’. To save your reading Master Bateman’s overwritten glop, the story tells us that last year - yes, LAST year – two chairs were taken from an Townsville Hospital operating theatre for repairs but (gasp!) ONLY one was returned! The nurses weren’t happy, their union made representations and now both chairs are back. End of a completely nothing story.

More than one person seethed down the MagpieFone about this, and The ‘Pie was none too happy either – this weekend, he had intended to invite commenters to send in their best headline and non-storyline that the Astonisher was likely to come up with. Then this. Forget it, they’ve beaten you all to it. They can award themselves this week’s MIM (Molehill Into Mountain) trophy. It woulkd have been easy to conclude that this was just the latest bit of Flinders Street fuckwittery, BUT …

… but just a sec. If this was their front page, slow news day and all, presumably there was no other story worthy of the front-page treatment, you’d guess. Well, you'd guess wrong. Leafing through to page 14, we found this story.

The 100th Victoria Cross medal is to be awarded  posthumously to Corporal Cameron Baird, who was killed in Afghanistan in June last year, after a series of courageous and selfless actions in battle. It was a great yarn of valor, unimaginable courage and leadership - and very readable, coming from the pen of the highly awarded national journo Ian McPhedran.

Townsville is a garrison city teeming with – and depending on – defence personnel, all of whom take duty, gallantry and the recognition of these qualities very seriously. Many are – or were – Bulletin readers.

One caller Gerry said he rated this comparison of story values the gravest insult by ‘this completely out-of-touch paper’. He said a few other things but you’re probably thinking those things yourselves, so The Pie won’t burden you with them.

So question: what’s the difference between an inconsequential empty chair and a fallen war hero on whom will be bestowed the nation’s top military honour? 

Answer: As far as the Townsville Bulletin is concerned, 14 lousy pages of dreck and dross.

The next empty chair we should be seeing from The Astonisher is  the editor's chair of Iditor Lachlan Heywood … among all the tomfoolery, lax discipline and venal editorial motivations, this must rank as one of the most callous and repugnant judgments to date, and is deserving of the highest censure.
The Pie is far from alone when he says that we all know you’re a boofhead, Lachlan, but you are now also a bum.

Other questions remain for our man, though.
And here, offered without comment, is a research list done by the Townsville City Council officers, comparing rates in major centres in Queensland. 

Last financial year (12/13) TCC staff did a comparison with 15 other councils and took into consideration all rates, levies and charges. The results at that time were:

Whitsunday Regional Council                      $2452.33
Cairns Regional Council                                  $2628.70
Sunshine Coast Regional Council               $2633.05
Somerset Regional Council                          $2752.64
Townsville City Council                                  $2785.38
Rockhampton Regional Council                  $2820.05
Lockyer Valley Regional Council                 $2845.21
Moreton Bay Regional Council                   $2919.98
Cassowary Coast Regional Council            $3010.85
Brisbane City Council                                      $3085.81
Logan City Council                                            $3111.20
Gold Coast City Council                                  $3236.95
Ipswich City Council                                        $3250.92
Redland City Council                                       $3283.56
Mackay Regional Council                              $3311.42
Scenic Rim Regional Council                         $3404.92

It was supplied to The Bulletin, which for some reason, hasn’t even seen page 14, where apparently all the little stories go. But ANY story that goes against the paper's policy of 'bad council' doesn't even get that far.
Moving on.
It wasn’t just The Astonisher which had a nasty surprise for us.
The Brisbane Bantam aka Premier Newman, made the gob-smacking statement that barristers who defended bikies were themselves part of the criminal organization. Just where to start on pointing out the schoolboy idiocy of this statement – effectively seeking a star chamber to handle bikie gang offences – is too dispiriting. 

But what did stand out was Newman’s complete failure to suggest how he would want the system to work instead. Possibly because without junking a couple of hundred years of a democratic judicary, there can’t be any alternative to the present system. There were howls of outrage from all sections of the community about this puerile idiocy, and Bentley could see stormy times ahead at the bar table.

Other matters.
A couple of comments from the week in case you missed them (sorry for the repeat if you did see them).
What an environmentally economical bit of management by that Danish zoo which shot 18 month old giraffe Marius and then fed it to lions, tigers and bears. 

No waste, no mess, no burial or cremation costs and cuts down on the food bill (both ways ... Marius won't be turning up at chow time anymore).

And then there was the entertainment value, with a vet graphically describing how the giraffe was enticed to bend his head forward for his favourite snack of rye bread and had his brains blown out from behind.
(Hmmm, be a good threat to children misbehaving at the dinner table 'Jimmy, remember what happened to Marius, After sis last night, Daddy is just reloading .... now eat your broccoli.') 

The truly bizarre part of this hardly delightful Danish tale was the vet then proceeded to dissect Marius in front of visitors, including children. Marius was apparently surplus to requirements and was dragging down the gene pool.

Hey, wait a sec, there's an idea for nibbles at the cash strapped Astonisher's Christmas party this year.
Here's what you do. Offer Simpo Templeton some rye bread and .......

(Of course, if you did it to Attila the Hen, there'd be enough tucker for a week-long BBQ. Your choice, Lachy.)

Martin K came up with the best one-liner of the week.
Is Clive Palmer a hazardous waist?

Don’t know about that, but there is only one thing more dangerous than a buffoon, and that is a buffoon with money. 

The other overseas yarn worth noting this week was the Belgians ratifying requested euthanasia by children – its been legal for adults for a few years now. If you’ve ever been to Belgium, you realise it is the ideal place to stiffen your resolve to end it all. 

But their new law doesn’t go far enough for the old bird … The Pie believes in involuntary euthanasia for some kids, like those little mongrels who chuck stones of roofs about the place. (But then the old bird has always not only believed in abortion, but has a list of people for whom be believes it should be retrospective.) 

But a pal who braved the wilds of Brussels has a couple of startling pics he will share with you.

You will remember the ill-advised choice of letter script on a greeting card recently featured here. Well, the Belgians 
have gone one better and displayed a similar error for all the world to see … in the main drag of Brussels.

And the Magpie chum was much bemused with the following for which he believed no one needed any training.

Still overseas, exclusive pics not seen on Channel 7 or anywhere else of drug smuggler and ex-prisoner Wotsername.

That is Indonesian for Corgi.

And this effort is included for the red bit at the end.

Finally, just to show that danger lurks everywhere on front pages, we found this unfortunate effort.

And a special note. Watch out for some upgrades to the blog, starting in the next week or two. Just a change of platforms, and a spruced up look, (will make no difference to how you find the blog) BUT please do not expect a more urbane, sophisticated and intelligent product ... it will remain the crotch-scratching, wind-breaking and teeth sucking product to which you've become so accustomed. However, there will be a couple new pages of interest and entertainment.

The Magpie will be seeking your comments.


  1. Umm, pie, we have been waiting on your report on galloways performance......

  2. Want to know why there was such a 'sit fight' over the chairs at the Townsville Hospital. It's because the person who uses the missing chair is morbidly obese. I'm talking BIIIIIIIIIIG!

    1. Are we talking BiGGEST Loser big? split the chair Big? Fat bottomed girl song big?

    2. Big Girls don't cry. If true, liposuction for this nurse!
      Start walking and feel healthy everyone.

    3. Are we talking lipo suction big? This chair had at least 4 wheels?

      Gosh, no wonder the journalist made it (coughs) front page that day.

  3. Guess what occupied the whole front page of The West Australian on Friday? You're right: A huge pic and story about Cpl Cameron Baird VC MG. It was also the lead in other newspapers around the country.
    Would have thought it was a no-brainer for similar treatment in a garrison city like Townsville.

    1. Some of us ex-service men were appalled by the Tsv Bulletin's priorities.... chairs-V- the life of a warrior who is defending freedom...Got it wrong, Mr Editor of the Bully

  4. Yup, I laughed and laughed.

    Too funny.

  5. Hi pie.

    If Newmans theory on bikers is true, the nine's Tele movie about shapelle corby s life could be on the same wavelength.

    ps. The astonished loves chair pictures.

  6. Pie, another good round up for the week.

  7. So Baird is only worth a 14? The paper isn't worth wrapping for fish and chips on Palmer street.

  8. Live blog is not live at all. This newspaper has lost the plot. God bless, Cameron Baird. A brave hero.

  9. They say that patience is a virtue seldom found in the young, so mate, you must a teenager (you wish).

    As Rousseau once said 'You have no need to know this, but I have a need to tell you' so here's a bit of a Behind The Magpie Blog peek at the old bird's week.

    First, the report card was not intended to be immediate for all the reporters, but a nice little drop-in from time to time, so more will be forthcoming soon (and your almost unhealthy obsession with young Mr Galloway invites a very unpleasant mind-picture of you in your - ahem - private moments - no matter what your gender).

    Unless of course you are actually Mr Galloway himself - and that too still prompts an unhealthy mind picture of your private moments heh heh heh.

    Ideas for the next blog start on Sunday mornings, and sometimes the old bird gets to Friday, sometimes even Saturday, with an empty nest, and resigns himself to some generic twaddle which may or may not amuse, like report cards. Then - kaboom - things like Friday's Seinfeld front page thud into the nest, coupled with the disgraceful treatment of a dead war hero.

    As pointed out elsewhere, Corporal Baird's VC was front page on all major papers around the country on Friday. It would seem the Bulletin clings to the very outmoded idea that a news item becomes less important and is pushed back further in the paper if it appeared on the previous evenings TV news (Corby bullshit the exception, natch). In fact, and it is a fact, various Chief of Staff at the Astonisher have all used the tactic of telling a tipster or quoted source of a story just that, that the story's prominence will be affected by its 'exclusivity' to try to manipulate and be first with information. (Someone please tell the old bird how this fits in with this daft Bully blog idea).

    So sometimes the prepared generic stuff has to bite the dust pro tem.
    And just for the record, since Saturday's paper often carry items to be mentioned/mauled/derided/chortled at in the blog, that is the reason it is published on Saturday afternoons. The old Saturday morning Magpie column in the paper had a deadline sometimes as early as Thursday noon ... but of course, the main target i.e the paper itself was not up for grabs.

    If you are paid by the paper and want to criticise it, you resign.

    Which is exactly what The Magpie did.

    See, told you didn't need to know all that but now you do if you got this far.

  10. Not in print but in a tv news item on Sat, had a story of a couple who were suffering from "cigareta" poisoning, not Ciguatera, and all of the terrible consequences. Perhaps this is what happens with smoked fish? I can't help but think somebody has fed this young cub a journalistic memory for years to come.

    1. Thanks for that, Reader. Saw the same story on TV and had the horrible thought that I'd been saying the wrong thing for umpteen years.

  11. A paper about nothing could be quite profitable. It shows that the general IQ is low and that readers are happy with a product about nothing.
    Behind the Bully is another episode about nothing. Nothing is better than an empty space, to make something out of nothing makes it a Seinfeld blog.


    A tastey drop for Pie's tastes?

  13. The usual packed blog with funny tit bits.

    How's our mayor? Isn't she competing in OLYMPIC skating this week? Simpi tweeted it was all the talk around the office.

  14. I went to the Herveys Range Rd Waste Facilty this morning Sun 16/2 and used a tipping voucher which has a property number and a comment Printed on it... Valid until 30 Sep 2014 .. During the course of the afternoon i opened my current rate notice date issued 13/2/2014 and low and behold there was another 4 tipping vouchers with no property number and ALSO WITH AN NOTE VALID UNTIL 30 SEP 2014 So i presume after 30 Sep 2014 until Feb 2015 no one can use the vouchers attached to this current (Feb) rate notice... Wishfull thinking i might recieve another 4 vouchers in Sep 2014 Valid until ???????? &%*&%(

  15. Let's stop this 'Anonymous' shit. If you don't want to identify yourself, think up a distinctive nom de plume (that's a pen name or nickname) and stick with it.
    You get a real sense of the person with regulars such as Bully Boy,Conan, Grumpy, The Third Reader, Lady Byron and others who identify by name or alias.
    Of course, some of the more befuddled and/or illiterate Anons actually benefit from anonymity. However, the Comments section of this blog is now starting to have a life of its own and it would be helpful to develop conversations between recognisable commentators.

    1. Well said Ron. I would love to reveal myself - well not that way - but I can't given my media connection. But a nom de plume beats anon any day!

    2. Onya, Ron. I have inadvertently let slip enough hints as to my true identity for me to have to indignantly deny being me when confronted by family and friends.

      Who, me? Since when have I become a cynical right wing extremist? How dare you!

    3. Describes me to a 'T' , Grumpy , and I can't even deny it. My excuse for turning hard right is that some 40 years ago, soon after I started my first media consultancy, I helped a young WA Labor politician (who later became Premier and eventually a jailbird) win an election. That mistake haunts me to this day.
      PS: Loved your little essay on the hazards of inbreeding (see below).

  16. I'm wondering if the Mumbai desgner didn't have enough time to change it to Bairds vc ceremony opting for a chair story.

  17. Must be party time at the Astonisher - well for some lofty Astonisher staff at least. Seen court side at last Saturday night's Townsville Fire game - all the usual suspects at the Bully table quaffing wine and knocking back coldies - Lachlan Heywood, Emily MacDonald, Lendl Ryan (get a haircut son that wedding is coming up real soon....) and I think Harry Brumpton. kids in toe. Great game it was indeed and interesting to watch the interaction with the Boss Iditor and his staff!

  18. Good morning.
    It's Monday, 930am. Live blog has not posted any live updates.


  19. Finally, 10 am, live blog has updated its first 8am post.

    Slept in?

  20. Pie,

    On the astonishing website, under entertainment.

    "Ive told Simon hes got give years"

    Err... Punctuation!?

  21. Naturally, Templeton and Radford head out to Jazzine barracks this morning.
    tempo takes his own pics on tweeter why take "cyclone chair" Radford?
    Page 14 sorry story?

  22. Europe. Gotta love it.

    Where farmers get paid not to grow crops:

    “Pierre, we will pay you not to grow turnips”
    “Mon ami, zis is a wheat farm”
    “So…you will not be growing turnips?”
    “Here is €300,000”
    “Sacre blue! Zis is crazy!”
    “Pierre, you drive a hard bargain – make it €500,00”

    And a sick nine year old can choose to die.

    “Francoise – do you want to meet Jesus in heaven and play with all the other angels and eat all the ice-cream you want?”
    “Oh! Yes, Mama!”
    “Drink this…”

    Methinks poor Darius was not the only one with an inbreeding problem.

  23. Well Media Watch tonight was another eye opener and supports your stance Pie on the Astonisher's falling circulation and advertising revenue - in fact for all News Ltd papers. And Fairfax too. Most analysts are saying the death of print as we know it is coming sooner than we think as digital - new and established players take over - but as for quality journalism - well who knows?

    1. Need corp naturally has to hit back at abc.
      it's digital platforms are read.

  24. Ah, the anticipated Jezzine barracks has been published. Tempo's story, gooey and, no bi live fir head phot, Scott.

  25. Bb.
    I watched mw video. A must watch.

    Soon, the Mirror in England will define our news... News ltd will be nothing more than a speck of dust on a page.

  26. The Bulletin must be dragging the bottom of the barrel for executives to staff the office. I see that it recently filled a senior executive position with a Celtic cast off who has had so many short term jobs since arriving in Oz that he can't keep count anymore. It seems that within a short time he has fallen out with employer after employer. For after hours entertainment the man is believed to be President of an RSL sub branch that is rumoured to be on the brink of liquidation by creditors and the ATO. How embarrassing for The Bulletin if its GM goes down as a director of that little ship. S * * t happens.

    1. Hmmm...of Robbie Burns fame? Towards the Pinnacles of success?

    2. Paul Anderson of PimlicoFebruary 21, 2014 at 9:33 AM

      Wow. Heavy stuff. Who're we talking about here, Pie? Any light you can shed...?

    3. Don't know for sure, and a small tell-tale reference was deleted from the comment because the information about the background can't be verified. And that detail might've pointed to the wrong person anyway.

  27. Bully live.
    The usual dangerous kids in drain pic. Don't worry, they won't get swept away...

    Jane Armistead publishes herself as news, wet weather picture.

    That's a big no no. You're not supposed to make your own news.

  28. With this damp weather, The Astonisher should get full marks for trying to be of service to the community (let's face it, it is so rare) but today they have both a news story and the Bully blog containing handy links to the bus company, council and others - but none of them work. The 'Pie was alerted to this and tried the links himself, which failed, so a bad look for a blog trying to appear up to date,relevant (on this occasion) and timely.

    No doubt someone on there will soon be reading this and get the tech boys onto it.

    Until then ... and probably always ... the ABC will remain the most reliable and dependable source of this sort of information. You can get onto their site at

  29. I believe, the "IT" dept isn't that crash hot. Didn't they lose all their photographs a few years ago?

  30. Kids playing in drain pic, taken down from live good opting for white BMW car..."amy..." numberplate in rain.

  31. It's very much a case of the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing in the Astonisher's playpen of a newsroom. On Page 1 Simpo tells us submissions for unlocking northern Australia will be accepted for another six weeks. But it appears the deadline was yesterday but that never crossed Emily Maccas mind as she said in her column today - they close this week. OK Astonisher - which is it - yesterday, this week or six weeks? Just wondering.

  32. Is there any chance 'Pie that the empty chair so charmingly displayed on the Astonisher's front page, could be electrified and given as a late Valentine's Day gift to that "Iditor", Mr Heywood? Just a passing thought...

  33. Have been getting the paper delivered to the business each day. Yes the plastic wrapping keeps the paper flat but so does the loads of water that it lets in when it's raining. So ring up to complain and low and behold the reception at the Bulletin is the reception for the Brisbane papers. There's more local jobs out the window.

  34. We still have'nt heard any thing from Tender Lovin' re his court appearence 21Feb re a speeding charge Thats this week Maybe Paul Jacob will be in Court to provide a reference

  35. What was Tender Lovin" driving , a ride on mower ?

  36. The chair should be given to head photographer, Botty Radford for outstanding cyclone coverage. Eg. Chair in pool.

  37. Ps "who are these goons" CEO tv 7

    no respect.

  38. Nice bloke, jerno.. Ian Frazer managed to make ten years in that hell hole.

    If I recall, so many like stop treated him like dirt.

    Congrats Ian, you're a good journo.

    1. One of the very best. Meticulous when it comes to the facts and a very accomplished writer.

  39. Every smartarse gets his come uppance - it was The Magpie's turn when he thought he'd be funny and send this little boast to a chum:


    Quick as a flash, he received this reply:

    Weeeelllll Iiiiiiiiii"mmmmm  neeevvvveeerrr gooooooooiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnng tooooooooooooooooo geeeeeeeet nnnnnnnnnnnnnbbbbbbbbbbbbbnnnnnnnnnn soooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeeee'lll aaaaaaaaalllllllllllwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyysssssssss beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  aaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttt ooooooooooooddddddddddddsssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Seriously, this has been a very bad week in relation to human rights and freedom of speech.
    Campbell Newman's drive for a star chamber to prosecute bikies (for whom I hold no brief or respect) is topped by the AFP's heavy-handed raid on Seven West's Sydney HQ in search of proof they are paying Schapelle (note the spelling) Corby for her pathetic story.
    The arrogant attitude of these goons, as captured on last night's TV news, shows they believe themselves to be above the law.

  41. I think the CEO shows no respect for the Afp "goon" the media are not above the law.

    Channel 7 should have known better.

    1. What arrant nonsense. Seven's bosses insist they have provided the AFP with every document they requested and answered every question they asked.
      The Seven executive had the right and duty to rigorously question the lead officer, particularly as to why he believed the warrant gave the police power to stop the news team filming. There's nothing illegal in that and you could see by the copper's evasive manner he knew it.
      The whole thing was incredibly heavy-handed. How much 'respect' would you show if a bunch of heavies -- armed with pistols and pepper spray -- busted into your business premises and treated you like a mob of drug-dealing serial killers?
      Seven's commercial director, Bruce McWilliam, was completely ignored when he asked for the officers to wait for lawyers to arrive. He was also given no answer when he questioned why the raid was necessary when the network had been co-operating with police.
      Even more reprehensible is the fact that the warrant was also used to access news and corporate records.
      As one newspaper leader writer put it today: "The AFP was not looking for terrorists, fraudsters or murderers -- they were following up on a rumour that Bali drug-runner Schapelle Corby had been paid for an interview with the network.
      "About 30 police and eight squad cars were sent to three locations in Sydney to find information the company had already provided."
      Dunno about you, Anon, but that seems to me to be a clear waste of police resources.

    2. Don't know if local Murdoch media will pick it up so thought I would let everyone know the AFP has today abjectly apologised to the Seven Network about the raid. The Feds have even admitted they fibbed about an alleged statement from a Channel 7 lawyer (presumably in order to obtain the warrant).
      'Nuff said.

  42. Remember the old military joke about the bumbling soldier whose men would follow him anywhere ...' mainly out of curiosity'.?

    There's a touch of that in the sadly embarassing twaddle from Jane Armitstead in the Behind The Bully blog today. She ends a rambling bit of empty Bully self-puffery with this inadvertently apposite line

    'Keep checking in on the blog for more updates, who knows what we will be doing next.'

    Indeed, who knows? Fear not, m'dear, we'll be checking ... mainly out of curiosity.

  43. she was talking about YOUR blog, 'Pie

    1. Natch, Grumps ... aren't they all heh heh heh

  44. In this weeks Townsville Sun I see the Astonisher has kicked of its Lucky Duck promotion, so the Astonisher will talking up soaring sales etc for this period, but will fail to mention sales will again drop after the promotion is finished.
    But wait that's not all, if you subscribe to their home delivery service you get a 25 dollar gift voucher, redeemable at Woolies, Big W, Dan Murphy's and others.
    The poor buggers that subscribe will need to head to Dan Murphy's for a good stiff drink and wash the bad taste of go nowhere, undie folding self important stories out of their mouths.

  45. Well, the last update 130 pm harry brumpyon's free Goldie trip.

    It's past 3pm.........?

  46. A bag snatcher's lawyer has a ready-made argument against his client-grub's conviction on the grounds that it is unclear where the bag snatch took place ... at least according to The Daily Astonisher. Yesterday it was the 'Hotel Allan' in the Bully blog, this morning in the online edition (at 9.15am) it's the 'Hotel Alan' ... and one assumes eventually, after the Hotel Alice, Hotel Alfie, Hotel Alun and the Hotel Ailing, we will get around to - ta da - the Hotel Allen. Maybe.

    Nice to have switched-on, knowledgable local reporters bringing us the news about our city, innit?

  47. Pie, I can't see any behind the bully today??

    1. What the blogging hell's goin' on?

      The Pie cannot believe that the Astonisher could be so mean and callous to take down the most readable (for all the wrong reasons) thing published by Flinders Street West, after just one hilarious week.

      Say it ain't so, Joe.

  48. I see Simpo's lazy journalism is at it again. Today's lead story re the city's 15,000 pools being backwashed into a jittery council's sewerage system after this week's deluge. I don't think so Simpo! He didn't ask the right questions to get the right answers. My two year old pool and my previous pool - 12 years old, never backwashed into the sewerage system. The pools were certified by council and water is and was pumped into underground piping into the street gutter and storm water drain and not the sewerage system . Why doesn't he know the basics?

    1. Well, dunno ... but wonder who told him?

    2. I don't have sewerage.

      My pool overflow just goes straight onto the back yard.

      Does that make me an environmental vandal?

  49. On today's TB web site is another example of no proof reader. There's a puerile invitation to "dust of [sic] your red jocks". Trivial? maybe, but still sloppy and a lack of pride in one's work

  50. Behind the Bully is like reading "No Idea" magazine.

    Boo who, the stars page has stopped publishing the gossip.

  51. Olympic quote of the Sochi Games so far, heard by pommy chum Nick on the BBC, came from Nick Cram during the ice curling final between Sweden and Canada:
    'Canadian captain Jill Officer has sometimes struggled with tricky draws.'

    As Nick emails, only people of a certain age will find this amusing .. and sympathise.

  52. This a brief media release sent out today, after both The Bulletin and the Northern Miner in Charters Towers had written a damaging story about the supposed closure of the ors Drive-in Movie theatre. Damaging sloppy stuff, and the subjects ain't happy campers.

    'In the Northern Miner & The Townsville Bulletin this morning the leading sentence says that the drive-in will be closed after this week-end. This is untrue. Please note that we did not authorise this publicity, or any comments made on Facebook for that matter, but of course we have no control over what other people say on the internet or in print. Bad news sells better than good news and I guess our personal woes make for a good headline.

    We have received calls regarding this, and we need to refute the claims made in the Northern Miner and say that we have no intention of closing permanently after this week-end. As previously advised to our Facebook page and mailing lists, we will be closed in March due to lack of product. We could run older movies during March, but it is traditionally an extremely quiet month of the year so we thought it would be best to remain shut. As previously advised we will be re-opening in April, and beyond June it looks like we won't be able to screen the latest films, but we still plan to put on classic films for those regulars who enjoy our retro nights.

    We just have to see what happens, but we were not planning to close up permanently after this week-end. If you have any queries, please don't hesitate to contact the owners who know what's really going on!'

    1. member of the Forest Gump PartyFebruary 21, 2014 at 10:22 PM

      Sloppy reporting indeed! Obviously Catrenal didn’t follow procedure and check the facts on Facebook.

    2. from Bird with Broken Wing
      Deb - it is a real shame that these incorrect reports have been printed very predominently in both papers. Your Drive In is an icon, not just for Charters Towers, but North Queensland. Hopefully the real story will get out there and everyone from Townsville, the Towers and other areas will continue to come and watch the classics at your retro nights. I see you made page 7 in the Bulletin - not page 14.